Negative Paternity Test

pd001

monicaj wrote: »

Having seen our solicitor this week and considered everything at length, we are taking the following action, which I understand may seem harsh to some of you:

1. The Standing Order to the CSA has tonight been cancelled
2. My husband has decided to send a copy of the Cellmark report to the CSA and claim a refund for all monies paid, together with interest and the cost of the DNA Test. The money will be invested, together with monthly "savings" (what would have been paid to the csa) for SS and DD's future. We hope that the CSA will persue the "mother" for every penny and that she will be forever indebted to the SoS.
3. The "mother" will persued by our solicitor via the courts for the £6k paid directly to her whilst she was a benefits claimant (not declared) - this is money my husband has been continually chased for by the CSA AND been paying the arrears.
4. The Application for Contact has now been submitted to the courts, though in all honesty we are not convinced this will be agreed by the courts and even less convinced that the "mother" will comply - all we know is that we will do everything in our power to maintain their relationship.

We understand that the action we have decided on will antagonise the mother and may work against hubby but he is now of the view that he is unlikely to see his son for at least 8 years. Although we have not given up completely and will keep fighting, we (in particular my husband) have had a very difficult few months and we have to prepare ourselves that he is unlikely to be part of our lives for the forseeable and so we have to move on. We hope and pray that our "son" will grow up into a fine young man and will at some point make contact - his room will remain untouched.


As I have said previously, neither my husband nor myself are casting blame on the CSA in our case. My husband has been contributing fairly towards his "son" - we blame this entirely on a woman who in our opinion has knowingly deceived an innocent child, my husband, our daughter, step-children, grandparents, this list is endless.......... we will never forgive her.

I will update this thread, though it's likely to be some time before anything happens, in the meantime, we would like to thank you all from the bottom of our hearts for the advice and support over the past months, and I hope our story will help someone in the future.

Thanks again and good luck to you all - PWC's and NRP's with all your personal battles with the CSA.

Speaking personally, I don't think that your actions are harsh at all. You should do what you feel is best for everyone concerned.
Others on here will no doubt disagree.
Good luck in your endeavours

CMAC_2

monicaj wrote: »

The test was done privately in view of a negative "peace of mind" test. Court proceedings were not necessary as the mother eventually had samples taken (took 2 months from notifying the mother of the original result to her getting to the GP). CSA would not have paid in view that my husband was married to the mother at the time and his name was on the birth certificate.

HTH

Monica

I have been involved in a number of case like this . In law the CSA treat the results as a change of cirs as such they have closed the case and only refunded payments from the notifacation date. If the csa take this line PM me and I talk to our probona department for you

monicaj

CMAC wrote: »

I have been involved in a number of case like this . In law the CSA treat the results as a change of cirs as such they have closed the case and only refunded payments from the notifacation date. If the csa take this line PM me and I talk to our probona department for you

Thanks CMAC, interesting ..............

We have been told by the CSA verbally that all monies will be refunded, we'll have to wait and see.

Can I ask do you work for the CSA?

CMAC_2

[QUOTE Can I ask do you work for the CSA?[/QUOTE]

No I dont work for the CSA however I do work in child support, but thats another story

freebie-fan-jen

ive read this post from the beginning and i just want to say good luck, your SS will know you did the right thing and will come back to you, you never know she might cool down and let you see him before hes 18 so keep your chin up, i think you and your husband are amazing people xxx

Mips

Not harsh at all Monica - that money was obtained by the worst kind of deception ever. She has taken money out of your pocket, taking it from the mouths of your other children, in my opinion.

Very sad for the boy, extremely sad. I can't imagine how he feels in all of this, however, it is not your, nor your husbands fault.

One day, you will all be glad and relived that this is over

Stay strong, all of you. And many thanks for updating this thread

alwoowar

I would say that while being a terrible position to be in,stop to have a think about the refund for a moment. It should be seen as a real opportunity to do something that is really worthwhile as it is money you had already kissed goodbye to a long time ago. As your OH wants to carry on supporting the boy maybe the money would be a real help if he wants to go to university or carry on training for the future? 30k would cover that with plenty left for YOUR family as well! By the sounds of it the lad may not have had the ideal start in life,something along those lines could secure him a really good start in life! Good luck and keep at it!

monicaj

alwoowar wrote: »

I would say that while being a terrible position to be in,stop to have a think about the refund for a moment. It should be seen as a real opportunity to do something that is really worthwhile as it is money you had already kissed goodbye to a long time ago. As your OH wants to carry on supporting the boy maybe the money would be a real help if he wants to go to university or carry on training for the future? 30k would cover that with plenty left for YOUR family as well! By the sounds of it the lad may not have had the ideal start in life,something along those lines could secure him a really good start in life! Good luck and keep at it!

Hi

Please refer to Post 159 - point 2) of this thread and various other posts in this thread relating to taking the refund route.

Rest assured any refund received will not be funding our "around the world cruise" :rolleyes: but be invested for both my husband's "children".

alwoowar

Hi Monica,i should have taken more time to look at the rest of the posts,my apologies for that! I really wish you all the best with your family and significant others,fingers x'd that it'll comes right for you all and the current situation turns out to be a small step on the journey!

Keep Smiling!
Best Regards,Al.:cool:

monicaj

You may have read that Hubby's mother passed away recently. Last week, father in law asked me to help him with obtaining information and completing the application for grant of probate (they've always treated me as the daughter they never had). We both sat down earlier today to make a start - one of the first few questions related to no of children/grandchildren. I have to be honest I hadn't looked at the documentation until I sat down with him and he didn't count in SS. He and I have spoken at length about the situation with SS and I know he feels very bitter about what has happened. Hubby is away at the moment and I've not had the chance to speak with him, but I feel soooo bad - it just seems to reiterate that SS is no longer part of our family.

SS was mentioned during the funeral service and there is no complication in view of inheritance - it just makes me wonder what else is going to unexpectedly come and bite us on the bum !!