Negative Paternity Test

Zara33

kelloggs36 wrote: »

i thought it meant original poster

:rotfl: I just make things up as i go along.

monicaj

Cellmark report confirms my husband is not the biological father.

Not sure where we go from here at the moment ..............

Zara33

monicaj wrote: »

Cellmark report confirms my husband is not the biological father.

Not sure where we go from here at the moment ..............

OMG! so sorry x

whitewing

monica, I'm sorry too for you both.

blue_monkey_2

monica, so sorry to hear the news - although it was expected probably still a huge shock. Please do let us know what happens next. If you need to PM me then you are welcome to do so.

I am wondering if there is any way of getting a message to the little lad to say that if you ever need him then you'll be there for him but at the moment cannot think of how as I am guessing the mother will intercept the cards or any text you send. What about via grandparents/mutal friends? Anyone who could just pass the message onto him that will do so out of kindness without telling the mother so she can say no.

The other your husband (or you) to do is set up a facebook pages for the family - you do not have to use it for anything else - but the little boy might decide for himself to get in contact and he will be able to find you on Facebook if he ever decides to look on there.

Good luck. x

ALIBOBSY

I have read this thread and felt awful about the horrible experiences these "Dads" and the kids are going through.
I am a mum of 3 and am with their father (my husband), but I have been through a messy divorce prior to meeting him so I know what it is like to have an ex. I would like to think if I was in that situation no matter how much I hated my ex I could and would put the children first. Even bad mouthing the other parent is bad. Children are not stupid and will soon grow up and understand exactly what their parents faults etc are.

As a woman and a mum I am ashamed that these mums are obviously prepared to put revenge or money grabbing above the feelings of their children. They must have known there was a chance that the paternity was in doubt.

I hope everything works out (as well as it possible can) for all parties concerned especially the children.

ali x

pd001

monicaj wrote: »

Cellmark report confirms my husband is not the biological father.

Not sure where we go from here at the moment ..............

OMG

I have no idea what to say other than I feel for you.

As many on here will remember, I have already suggested that you should apply to get all your payments refunded from the csa. No questions asked!

It is a devastating situation for all concerned

monicaj

Having seen our solicitor this week and considered everything at length, we are taking the following action, which I understand may seem harsh to some of you:

1. The Standing Order to the CSA has tonight been cancelled
2. My husband has decided to send a copy of the Cellmark report to the CSA and claim a refund for all monies paid, together with interest and the cost of the DNA Test. The money will be invested, together with monthly "savings" (what would have been paid to the csa) for SS and DD's future. We hope that the CSA will persue the "mother" for every penny and that she will be forever indebted to the SoS.
3. The "mother" will persued by our solicitor via the courts for the £6k paid directly to her whilst she was a benefits claimant (not declared) - this is money my husband has been continually chased for by the CSA AND been paying the arrears.
4. The Application for Contact has now been submitted to the courts, though in all honesty we are not convinced this will be agreed by the courts and even less convinced that the "mother" will comply - all we know is that we will do everything in our power to maintain their relationship.

We understand that the action we have decided on will antagonise the mother and may work against hubby but he is now of the view that he is unlikely to see his son for at least 8 years. Although we have not given up completely and will keep fighting, we (in particular my husband) have had a very difficult few months and we have to prepare ourselves that he is unlikely to be part of our lives for the forseeable and so we have to move on. We hope and pray that our "son" will grow up into a fine young man and will at some point make contact - his room will remain untouched.


As I have said previously, neither my husband nor myself are casting blame on the CSA in our case. My husband has been contributing fairly towards his "son" - we blame this entirely on a woman who in our opinion has knowingly deceived an innocent child, my husband, our daughter, step-children, grandparents, this list is endless.......... we will never forgive her.

I will update this thread, though it's likely to be some time before anything happens, in the meantime, we would like to thank you all from the bottom of our hearts for the advice and support over the past months, and I hope our story will help someone in the future.

Thanks again and good luck to you all - PWC's and NRP's with all your personal battles with the CSA.

CMAC_2

Can I ask how the test came about with Cellmark. Did the CSA initiate the test or was it both parents just doing it privately I note there was court proceeding was it a declaration of none parternity

monicaj

CMAC wrote: »

Can I ask how the test came about with Cellmark. Did the CSA initiate the test or was it both parents just doing it privately I note there was court proceeding was it a declaration of none parternity

The test was done privately in view of a negative "peace of mind" test. Court proceedings were not necessary as the mother eventually had samples taken (took 2 months from notifying the mother of the original result to her getting to the GP). CSA would not have paid in view that my husband was married to the mother at the time and his name was on the birth certificate.

HTH

Monica