Depression Support Thread

beachbeth

Thanks RBK and upsetonerightnow. You are right RBK, I gave her a lot of fuss and love and I think she knew how I felt but you just feel so guilty when they die. I appreciate your thoughts.

whitevanwoman

beachbeth wrote: »

Definitely. I second that! Just offload here - there are plenty of sympathetic people here.

Im a bit tearful. I keep thinking about my lovely dog that died at the end of January and Im beating myself up about the fact that I couldn't be with her when she died. It was unexpected that she died at the vets and I thought I would be going to see her the next day. It absolutely kills me that she died there on her own and not with me.

Im having a glass of red to perk myself up and will be alright in a bit but she was such a special dog and didn't deserve to die on her own. I keep telling myself that these things are often taken out of our hands and I didn't do it on purpose but I really miss her.

If its any consolation, I cried today whilst telling someone I hadn't seen since November, that my old dog died in early Dec. Every now and again, I get a weepy moment when I think about him. He was nearly 15 and had had a stroke last summer so in a way I was lucky in that I knew that his time was nearly up but I just couldn't imagine life without him and losing him was still a terrible shock. I still find it hard to accept that he is gone forever. I got him as a pup about 2 months after I was first diagnosed with depression and he got me through so much, and having been single most of the time I had him, we had a very special, very close bond. Mind you, I guess all dog owners feel that their particular bond with their dog is very special and very close.

My younger dog got me through it and kept me going in the first few weeks - he was such a comfort - in fact he was more of a comfort than any of my family - my mum told me to stop being selfish and to think about the millions of people who lose family members every day, and my brother told me I'd ruined Christmas by moping around. I haven't had any contact with them since. I was so hurt that they simply had no idea of how I was feeling, and were not going to make any effort to understand. Strangely, my mum is a dog owner, and my brother has been a dog owner, so perhaps not every dog owner does have a special bond with their dog after all.

I still feel guilty as I think I delayed 24 hours too long before taking him to the vet to be put down, but I just have to try to live with it and say to myself that what's done is done, and it was only done out of love for him. I stayed with him till he'd gone, and although I wouldn't do anything any differently, I do think sometimes that it is sad that that's my last memory of him. But saying that, it's almost as if he gave a sigh of relief right at the end.

Beachbeth - remember your little cavvie running around at home, up to [STRIKE]his[/STRIKE] her tricks. If it's any help I have a vision of my old collie :A barking at your little cavvie :A to come and join him in dog heaven and he will have been looking out for [STRIKE]him[/STRIKE] her for you.

whitevanwoman

Just made myself cry again with my last post! Doh!

Tulip

:hello:Everyone,

I had a lovely lovely day.Dressed up in red wig,facepainted face and looked good,Had lots of people comment on how I looked and said I had looked nice.A lady wanted to give me a donation but I had to politely refuse.Anyway here as promised are photos of me looking really wicked.



and




Katie

shazrobo

hugs to those that are tearful tonight, must be the night for it, i have cried buckets.
feel selfish posting, when so many are feeling sad thru the loss of pets or loved ones or relationships

my tears tonight are of my own making, because tonight i have done something that i will never forget, something that i should never have done
something so bad, that i fear telling about it people will hate me

shaz xxx

whitevanwoman

Good for you Katie - you're braver than me!

It's so nice to put a face to a name - for some reason I'd imagined you as being blonde.

shazrobo

hi katie, sounds like you had fun, you look cool in red

shaz xxx

whitevanwoman

shazrobo wrote: »

hugs to those that are tearful tonight, must be the night for it, i have cried buckets.
feel selfish posting, when so many are feeling sad thru the loss of pets or loved ones or relationships

my tears tonight are of my own making, because tonight i have done something that i will never forget, something that i should never have done
something so bad, that i fear telling about it people will hate me

shaz xxx

Every now and then a good cry is a good thing.
Better to have a reason to cry than crying for no reason

Shaz - I presume you haven't murdered anyone or hit an old lady over the head and robbed her purse. And even if you had, I wouldn't hate you because I don't know you. What I do know of you is that you're a kind caring person and I'm sure that whatever you have done, you will have done it for a reason.

The people who post on this thread do not seem to be judgemental so I'm sure that no-one will hate you. If you want to offload, do so if it will help you - don't keep it all bottled up inside and work yourself up into a state. You could write it all down in a post but then just save it on to your computer instead of actually posting it if you are worried about the reaction of others - just getting it all out of your system will probably make you feel better.

Look after yourself x

whitevanwoman

Am just watching Annie Lennox sing "Lean on me" on Comic Relief and it's just struck me how appropriate the words are for this thread.

shazrobo

thanks wvw
think i will post instead of bottling it all up.
basically my son has beenassaulting me quite often, and after he hurt me again tonight, i rang the police, i grassed on my son and i feel dreadful for it.they have arrested him, and took him down the police station, i had to give them a statement, dont know what will happen next, waiting for police to call me

i hate myself for what i done

shaz xxx