Depression Support Thread

lincolnian1988

Hi all, sorry I haven't posted since my first visit but I've been busy with uni, then drove back home for the weekend and have only had time to read and keep up with the thread.

Firsr things first, Jo - congratulations on the baby, hope all is going well.

Whitevan/beachbeth... as others have said, I'm sure the spirits of your dogs are still there with you. Our dogs are like my rocks to me, they always seems to understand what's going on. There's been times when I've actually cuddled our smaller dog and just cried as you do with the depression, they're a great source of comfort. Both of ours are quite young so hopefully got a few years yet, but I really would hate to think of life without them. Even being away from them at uni is bad enough, so I can imagine the pain is considerably worse :-(. You have my thoughts though *big hugs*.

Shazrobo, as others have said, you've done the right thing both by yourself and your son. There are not many people who have the courage to do that sort of thing, and I really respect you for what you have done. I'll be thinking of you tonight, and cry all you want, there's nothing wrong with it. Just remember you have all of us here and our support.

On the upside, I've been alright for the past few days. Far different from the beginning of the week, having a few good days at the moment where the front door doesn't feel like a solid brick wall. Spent far too much money comfort buying though, getting shivers everytime I see adverts for my bank or log onto my online banking site :-(.

Anyway, I've ranted enough :-).

Hope everyone asides from what's going on has a good rest-of-the-night. Thoughts are with you, shazrobo,

J

robwend

a question for you guys, when you feel suicidle, what stops you from carrying out your wishes? and when you dont follow it through for what ever reason you talk yourself out of it, do you regret not being brave enough to do it?

lincolnian1988

The fact of knowing the pain that I will leave behind would be far more painful to my family and friends would be far greater than the pain I feel from the depression.

lincolnian1988

That last post didn't make sense, but I think you can get the genuine jist of it... imsomnia's setting in :-)

Tiff_2

Hi guys!

Only me.

How's everyone doing on this sunny Caturday morning?

I think it's safe to come out now. Did anyone else notice that this was the second Friday 13th in a row?And a full moon to boot!

Apologies for the delay in posting guys - just 'stuff' going on at Tiff Towers.
And this didn't help...

Think I'll go back to using a padlock and chains on the smartie cupboard!

I'm sending a warm Tiffy to lincolnian1988,(j), tsimehc(tsi), gibboelli(elli), upsetonerightnow(uorn), blueangelv(bluev) and robwend(rw). Welcome to the clan, guys. I'm sure you've already found the thread's guardian angels as kind as always and ready to listen and that you'll continue to post here for as long as you want to.

Couple of Tiffbits...
- extra hugs going to sazzy, ettie b, gem, shaz, rbk, may, beth, budd, cb2, ccstar, rosep, s7, donny, wvw and mezer.
- katie-tulip - great photos hunnie and well done. You look like you had a great day.

- shaz - I'm with you, angel.x I'll be back with a proper reply as soon as I can sweetheart.

Right then, I'd better get on - got a lot to catch up on, it seems.
Be kind to yourself guys.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi mezer!

How are you angel? I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get back to you bry - I hadn't forgotten about you.

Now, where was I...

mezer wrote:

meds and counselling wise.......well i started on meds, its the second time i've had them, decided to stop them because i felt like i was never going to know if it was me under there....thats all that needs to be said, and i dont want anyone to get in trouble by commenting on that bit.
counselling - have got the top counsellor at the uni - absolutely lovely lady, understands me without me even explaining some stuff. The problem being, i have an issue with letting people in...again see later....so there's stuff that i dont tell her, stuff i know i should tell her, but im not comfortable yet so im holding back for a bit....well ok its been quite a while, but am working on the superficial stuff first.:cool:

As far as meds are concerned angel, no-one should ever stop a med without the knowledge and supervision of their dr. This is always suggested for good reason: it can be dangerous with some meds to suddenly stop them.

And regarding your counsellor, it sounds as if you're building a good relationship with her. She will understand and probably sense that you are holding back, hun and as all good counselllors should do, she's probably following your lead until you're ready to go further. The only advice I can offer really angel, is that she could be a good in-place source of support and resources for you, so be a little braver bry and open up if you can.

I've just remembered reading that you'd been to the dr and that you'd opened up more to your counsellor too. I'm proud of you for that hunnie.

mezer wrote:

Then there's the bf.....been with him two years almost. We met before uni in 2007, on a day that I had organised for people coming to this uni to meet each other, we hit it off, it went from there. we were in separate halls in the first year, but spent most of our time together, meaning we never really made friends outside of the relationship - so that explains the -"i have absolutely no friends here" issueHe kindly told me on xmas eve of 2007, that back in the first few weeks of our relationship, he had got drunk and slept with his ex.:mad: Not so great heh. I had massive trust issues from previous relationship, so had never fully trusted him, and had asked a few weeks beforehand if he had ever cheated on me - to which he replied "look me in the eyes and believe me, i never have and never will cheat on you". So blah, basically he had kept the fact that he had cheated on me from me for 6 months and lied about it to my face.
On top of that, he had lied previously, saying he was going shopping with his mates in milton keynes, when actually he went and spent the day with a girl in oxford. he called me up that night and explained what had happened, that basically she was coming to the same uni, he just wanted to make friends and he didnt want me worrying all day about what he was up to yaddayaddayadda

And then in november last year, he kissed some other girl, because we had had an argument that day, and I had gone back to my parents, he thought we had split up went out to drown sorrows etc - then when i asked about if anything had happened, he again said no (lying) and told me the truth 3 days later (better than 6 months later lol) so - now the trust issues i have are massive, i question him about everything and dont even trust him for 5 mins on his own - makes things difficult when he has to go to lectures.:o

I think I also remember reading that you and your bf are together again. I hope everything works out for you hunnie. It's understandable that you've got trust issues, bry. Just try and keep a balance if you can. He was at least eventually honest about his actions but only you know whether you can trust him enough to make this work. Without trust, relationships can't survive, imho. Negative emotions are never a good basis for anything to work but you have to decide whether to forgive him - and if you do decide to forgive him, then you're saying that you believe this relationship will work and that means you'll have to be prepared to give him a clean slate from now and to try and trust him again.

mezer wrote:

next....where i live....so i live with my bf, and two guys we met in halls. I dont really get on with these guys - well thats an understatement, they annoy the hell out of me. I have my own bedroom, so thats not such a big issue. but yes my housemates do isolate themselves from me and not the otherway around eg i was in the front room the other night, and they decided to go and eat in one of the bedrooms instead of sit with me :eek:- lovely heh

Does your uni have an accommodation office hun? Maybe things will work out better if you tried a different place. It's hard to judge this one because when we're very low, things that wouldn't normally bother us can make us very sensitive. I'm not saying this is the case here, but it's always worth bearing in mind. And in the opposite corner, we need support and understanding when we're at our lowest. As you and bf are back together, it would seem that he isn't trying to avoid you now hopefully.

mezer wrote:

work now i work 6 hours a week for Orange, selling phones. had the job for 4 years, transferred up here when i came to uni etc love the job in every other store, but hate it in the store i am in now now i have no uni anymore, i would like to work more, as im not getting student loan, so only have 6 hours a week worth of wages coming in (£180 a month, rent is £255 a month + bills + food etc = big money problem) boss has a vendetta against me, and point blank refused to give me any more hours even though i just end up crying when im at work, cos i cant afford to buy lunch when im there etc

So some changes here would be welcome. It's a huge stress when money is a problem. Have you asked your boss why you can't have any more hours at work? I'd say something useless like take a packed lunch with you, but I'm sure you've alrady thought of that. The other thought I have here is to go along to your local jobcentre and see if you might qualify for any benefits. Your student support team or counsellor may even be able to tell you this angel. Here's a link which could give you some ideas:

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/index.htm

It may even be a case that you're really not well enough to work or study if that your mental ill health is badly affected, in which case you might want to look into Income Support, Incpacity Benefit or possibly DLA. You won't know until you ask hun, and hopefully your gp will back you with any letters needed.

mezer wrote:

drinking.....

well i drink to pass out - thats the honest truth - because if im asleep im not worrying about what the bf is up to, or my own worries, and the time where im sitting alone passes a hell of a lot quicker. Plus i tend to turn into a bit of a fairy when drunk, so life seems much funnier and happier.:rotfl:but im not drinking and taking meds - so that doesnt need to be worried about

I can understand that hunnie and well done you for being so honest. I hope you and the clan all know me well enough by now, to know that I would never judge anyone or mean to sound condescending in any way. I'm glad that drinking and meds aren't an issue hunnie. After all if you think about it, alcohol is a chemical compound and when you remember that, then those glasses suddenly stop looking quite so innocent.:o Here are a couple of links to check out if you wish, angel:
http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/alcohol/Pages/Alcoholsupport.aspx
This next site page has lots of useful links for various kinds of student help:
http://www.studentcounselling.co.uk/self-help-leaflets.html

Please correct me if I'm wrong hun, but what I 'hear' is that you are drinking to relieve the great stress of your situation, to find comfort and to lose time. These are the real problems and you use alcohol as a way to cope and avoid the stress. But you're a very bright bunnie bry, , and you already know that this is creating another problem for you instead of a solution.

mezer wrote:

me in general.....well still suffering health wise, obviously depression doesnt help. had my braces of recently after 3 years - biggest dissapointment ever - they look worse than when i started, wish i had never had them done. I have to attend physio every week, because i have major physical problems, and am backwards and forwards to the hospital for various things....so yeah blah...not great there
i have no friends where i am - i have a select few at home, that are really great, but cant afford to get there because of the no money issues, so am really isolated.

i am part of the uni scuba diving club, but cant take part because of no money - all the clubs cost to join, so cant join any more

so at the moment im a big mushy mess or boyfriend issues, med issues, counselling issues, what the hell do I do with my life issues, money and work issues, housing issues, no friend issues, and general boredom issues - and most of the time its just all too much
so...yeah ....im really sorry this is such a long and rambly post, i just had to get it all out in one go, otherwise i wouldnt have bothered. thats a brief summary of my past two years haha i'm a mess

I'm sorry if it seems patronising bry, but you've been through a lot with your health and I think you need lots of hugs and support.Of course it's all too much! You've thrown everything into one huge heap and anyone would find it just as overwhelming, sweetheart. Right now, it seems to me as though you're feeling quite disconnected from everything. This is why I said the uni situation needs looking at now because it will then make a difference to these other issues.

It can help to find other ways to fill the day hunnie - and I know that seems easier said than done.:o What about catching up on some studying when you can? This could make you feel more connected to the course you're doing and give you some answers. Or join or start a project connected with your subject, which may be helpful with your course later? Everyone needs some leisure time and tlc, hun and hopefully either your uni or dr can help with some ideas.

I'm hoping that between consulting your dr, your student support services and your job, there'll be solutions found at the right level for you. It won't be a magical solution, angel and it is going to take time to resolve these things too. But your health must come first - physically and mentally, bry. I hope something here has helped angel. You know we're all here for you whenever you need us and trust Tiffy, at some point an answer will be found because nothing ever stays the same constantly - not even the bad stuff, sweetheart.

Be kind to yourself hunnie.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi jo, mr.jo and family!

I hope you're all recovered hunnie and that everyone is doing well.

On This Day, 6th March, In History:

Saturday, 06 March, 1447: Nicholas V becomes Pope.

1521 - Ferdinand Magellan, (No - he didn't play for Man Utd!!! I tell you, some people - tuh!), is first European to reach Guam.

1899 - Aspirin registered as trademark by Bayer.

1957 - Ghana becomes independent from Britain.

I read you were after some ideas for names hunnie, so I thought this might help...

People Born On March 06

1981:
Ellen Muth, American actress (b: March 6, 1981)

1972:
Shaquille O'Neal, American basketball player (b: March 6, 1972)

1969:
Tari Phillips, American basketball player (b: March 6, 1969)

1959:
Tom Arnold, American actor and comedian (b: March 6, 1959)

1953:
Jan Kjærstad, Norwegian author (b: March 6, 1953)

1951:
Gerrie Knetemann, Dutch cyclist (b: March 6, 1951)

1949:
Shaukat Aziz, Prime Minister of Pakistan (b: March 6, 1949)
Martin Buchan, Scottish footballer (b: March 6, 1949)

1947:
Rob Reiner, American actor, comedian, and film producer (b: March 6, 1947)
!!!!!! Fosbury, American athlete (b: March 6, 1947)
Kiki Dee, English singer (b: March 6, 1947)
Martin Kove, American actor (b: March 6, 1947)

1946:
David Gilmour, English musician (Pink Floyd) (b: March 6, 1946)

1944:
Kiri Te Kanawa, New Zealand soprano (b: March 6, 1944)
Mary Wilson, American singer (Supremes) (b: March 6, 1944)

1942:
Ben Murphy, American actor (b: March 6, 1942)

1940:
Willie Stargell, baseball player (b: March 6, 1940 ; d: April 9, 2001)

1939:
Adam Osborne, British author and computer designer (b: March 6, 1939 ; d: March 18, 2003)

1937:
Valentina Tereshkova, cosmonaut (b: March 6, 1937)
Ivan Boesky, American stock trader (b: March 6, 1937)

1936:
Marion Barry Jr., Mayor of Washington DC (b: March 6, 1936)

1935:
Ron Delany, Irish athlete (b: March 6, 1935)

1934:
John Noakes, British television presenter (b: March 6, 1934)

1933:
Ted Abernathy, baseball player (b: March 6, 1933 ; d: December 16, 2004)

1931:
Hal Needham, American stunt man (b: March 6, 1931)

1930:
Lorin Maazel, French-born American conductor (b: March 6, 1930)

1928:
Gabriel Garc!a M!rquez, Colombian writer (b: March 6, 1928)

1927:
Wes Montgomery, American musician (b: March 6, 1927)
Gordon Cooper, astronaut (b: March 6, 1927 ; d: October 4, 2004)

1926:
Alan Greenspan, American economist (b: March 6, 1926)
Andrzej Wajda, Polish film director (b: March 6, 1926)

1923:
Ed McMahon, American television personality (b: March 6, 1923)

1917:
Will Eisner, American illustrator and cartoonist (b: March 6, 1917 ; d: January 3, 2005)

1915:
Pete Gray, American baseball player (b: March 6, 1915)

1914:
Kiril Kondrashin, Russian conductor (b: March 6, 1914 ; d: March 7, 1981)

1906:
Lou Costello, American actor comedian (b: March 6, 1906 ; d: March 3, 1959)

1905:
Bob Wills, American singer (b: March 6, 1905 ; d: May 13, 1975)

1904:
Joseph Schmidt, Austrian tenor (b: March 6, 1904)

1903:
Empress Nagako of Japan (b: March 6, 1903 ; d: June 16, 2000)

1885:
Ring Lardner, American writer (b: March 6, 1885 ; d: September 27, 1933)

1812:
Aaron Lufkin Dennison American watch manufacturer (b: March 6, 1812 ; d: January 9, 1895)

1806:
Elizabeth Barrett Browning, English poet (b: March 6, 1806 ; d: June 29, 1861) )

1787:
Joseph von Fraunhofer, German physicist (b: March 6, 1787 ; d: June 7, 1826)

1779:
Antoine-Henri Jomini, French general (b: March 6, 1779 ; d: March 24, 1869)

1706:
George Pocock, British admiral (b: March 6, 1706 ; d: April 3, 1792)

1663:
Francis Atterbury, English man of letters (b: March 6, 1663 ; d: February 22, 1732)

1619:
Cyrano de Bergerac, French soldier, poet (b: March 6, 1619 ; d: July 28, 1655)

1495:
Luigi Alamanni, Italian poet (b: March 6, 1495 ; d: April 18, 1556)

1483:
Francesco Guicciardini, Italian statesman and historian (b: March 6, 1483 ; d: May 22, 1540)

1475:
Michelangelo Buonarroti, Italian painter (b: March 6, 1475 ; d: February 18, 1564)

1459:
Jacob Fugger, German banker (b: March 6, 1459 ; d: December 30, 1525)

1405:
King John II of Castile (b: March 6, 1405 ; d: July 20, 1454)

Obviously, I guess you can rule out the female names. Michael or Michelangelo might be nice as he shares the same birthday as this genius - I wouldn't go for cyrano though!:eek: Or how about max or maximillian? Or xavier?
Or leo?
Either way, I'm sure he'll be much loved and cherished and I wish you and all your family many happy endings and blessings, angel.
Safe journeys hunnie.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi sazzy and beth!

I'm hoping you're both well, ladies.

I can't believe that you asked for a photo of my new hairstyle - didn't you learn anything from The Great Tiff Photo Trauma of 2007?!

beth wrote:

I don't care what you say, Tiff, I would like to see your new hairdo - Im not squeamish or anything!:p

Oh beth dear- you will be!:D

sazzy wrote:

:T:T:T What Beth said!

And you should know better, missy! Any more from you and there will be a re-posting of the sazzy photo that appeared in the afore-mentioned photo event of 2007!
*Actually guys, this is an empty threat because sazzy is a very purrdy lady - although she was surrounded by alcohol in the photo! Now who would like to start the bidding?*

Okay then - just this once. Now be kind!

Please remove all rotten fruit and bricks from the peanut gallery and shield the photo from all small children and people of a nervous disposition. Brace yourselves...

You didn't really think I was going to do it, did you?!
Better luck next time, guys!
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi wvw!

How are you doing, hunnie?

wvw wrote:

"And why not?" she asked indignantly. I get more sense out of my dog than I do out of most people The cats only show any interest when their bowl is empty

That's because goggys are easily amused.
Cats on the other hand, have more important things to deal with - like peace, the economy, world domination... It's no wonder we have to keep our strength up!

And then you posted this...

wvw wrote:

And if all that fails, we'll set Tiff on him

I'm mission ready, wvw - just say when!

Look after yourself angel.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi npsm, s7 and beth!

I hope you're all well? Awww, thanks for the kind words, guys.

s7 wrote:

Originally Posted by npsmama Tiff, you seem like a wonderful humorous person!I'm sure others will agree with me when I say that I really appreciate the time and energy you put into your posts.
I'll second that, but careful she is actually a cat

Lol, s7! Moi - a cat? I can't imagine where you get that idea from, hunnie.
*You're not supposed to warn them, s!*

beth wrote:

Originally Posted by Sssssss I'll second that, but careful she is actually a cat
Yes, and I wouldn't like to see her when she has her claws out!!!:p

Heh, heh, heh...

Have a good weekend guys.

Much Love,
Tiff xxx