Depression Support Thread

Jo_R_2

Welcome jess8905 and Butterfly_Kisses :wave:

npsmama - hope tomorrow goes okay when you see your cpn. I think it might be a good idea to raise your concern with her if you feel confident - it's quite possible she may not have given it a second thought and it won't be good for you if it gets left unresolved. Would you feel comfortable bringing it up or could you write it down, and maybe it would help you feel better bringing it up if you could suggest some kind of solution for her to offer if it should come to that again, like access to another phone number or person to speak to?

Tiff - thankyou! I would absolutely love to say yes, it's because baby is a boy that he's being awkward But being truthful, DD2 was three weeks late so I can't be too harsh on the poor babe for that!

Thanks to everyone else who has asked, I'm still here plodding away. I won't bore you all with the details, but I went to hospital today for monitoring as I was 12 days over 40 weeks, and if you refuse induction they offer monitoring (checking baby's heartbeat) every other day. My midwife had said that as I was over the 'safe' limit for baby (which falls on 12 days late) that they would prefer me to have baby in hospital, but it is my choice at the end of the day.

I was quite anxious about it, as I still want to have baby at home, and thought it meant that I could potentially have midwives there who would attend the birth but wouldn't be too happy about it. Luckily the hospital midwife was great, listened to me and my worries and after seeing baby's heartbeat is fine and strong, said she would be phoning my community midwife team anyway to let them know and that I would still be continuing wioth my plans for a home birth.

She also told me that a lady had been in the same position as me very recently and delivered at home at term + 17 days and it was all fine so that made me feel better :T Unfortunately I went further along than that with DD2 and she didn't appear of her own accord but we're taking it a day at a time and I'm really hoping this baby comes by himself. So I'll keep you posted if anything happens - however it'll be, it'll pretty much definitely be happening within the next 8 days :eek::D:j

Sssssss

npsmama wrote: »

Please think of me tomorrow as I'll be seeing my cpn for the 1st time since her text that upset me.
It sounds daft but I feel like I can't trust her anymore. Not sure whether or not to talk about it with her.

Doc has upped my meds and arranged for me to see the psychiatrist. The guy intimidates me a lot so hubby will come with me to the appointment.

sorry very quick reply as have to rush off to work, but I would say raise the issue otherwise it will only eat you up. Also might make her think to be a bit more diplomatic next time.

good luck and let us know how you get on.

beachbeth

I agree with Sssssss, npsmama. I would definitely bring the subject up as it will stay unresolved in your head. Just tell her how you felt but in an unaccusing way.

Welcome to all the new people to this thread.:hello:

Got a few errands this morning and also need to take one of my dogs to the vets for a checkup and for some reason its all making me a bit anxious. Ive also had a lovely letter from someone I used to work with saying they are arranging a reunion and Ive got to ring her about it. I just find the phone difficult and keep putting it off. I must ring her today though.

I do hope that baby makes an appearance soon, Jo-R! Best wishes for a smooth delivery whenever it happens!

absolutebounder

npsmama wrote: »

i've had such a crap day.
at 11am my 16mo fell backwards onto a glass door and it smashed on his head, i went to pieces but managed to get both kids in the care and went to a&e. i couldn't speak properly when i got there as i was in shock but the baby's bleeding head was self explanatory.
i'd called a friend who came to help but we ended up being there for 4hrs as they discharged our paperwork by mistake. i really felt my friend was annoyed at having to spend the day in a&e with me. she was ok at first but them she seemed very annoyed with me.
I'm home now and the little one is fine but this bloke from the council just turned up and he was really fishing for an argument saying that there had been complaints about our trees. i said we have a tree surgeon coming next week but his attitude was treating me like a criminal.
we live on a rural and usually friendly lane. the road stops 2 houses after our own bc the council haven't been maintaining it.
i know people walk their dogs up the lane but what really upsets me is that no one came to talk to us about the trees but went to file a complaint with the council instead.
we've been the only ones who have invited others round for drinks etc and in return this is what we get.
i wish it was the end of the day bc i've really had enough.
i think i'm still in shock from this morning as i'm crying and can't talk - the words just don't come out i keep stuttering

I dont know if its your house or a rented one but these days under building regs any glass below a height of 800mm and within 300mm of a door is supposed to be safety glass. If you rent the place I would have words with landlord.

shazrobo

jess8905 wrote: »

Hello, I hope it's ok I join in here,
I've very recently admitted to myself that I have depression and have had it for a long time. I have started taking anti depressants and am seeing a therapist.
I've been withdrawn and basically shut myself away from the rest of the world, but now I am determined to get better and my therapist has suggested that I start doing activities to learn to be around people, trouble is I don't know where to start and I don't have much money and I don't want to seem as if I'm not trying.
Anyone have any ideas? I'm feeling quite down and apprehensive about my next session, I feel as if I'm going to be told off for not making an effort.

Jess

hi jess.,, and welcome to the thread, my therapist has found me a number of activities, and comes with me for first few times, til i get used to going, i myself didnt enjoy the gym, but love craft groups, and now most weeks i attend three,

hugs
shaz xxx

shazrobo

hi tiff, hope you are feeling better, (((hugs)))

hi all, hope everyone is ok this morning, just been to see gp, and got some new creams for my excema, and also my antid's for another week, got them on weekly repeats, so only need to see gp monthly now
waiting in now, for annual gas serviceing

hugs all

shaz xxx

Tulip

:hello: Everyone,

Morning! hope all is well,No Exeter today for me so staying home this week making own lunch later of Steak and Stilton Pie and Jacket potatoe


Hope you all have a nice day

love and light,

Katie xxx

beachbeth

I was in the right frame of mind for putting my thoughts on paper this morning and so have written a letter to the DWP to update them on what is happening with me at the moment. I will also send a copy to Welfare Rights. Before I send it I thought I would post it here for any of you to read. I would be grateful for any feedback or advice any of you have and, of course, you can tell me if something doesn't read quite right. Hope you don't mind as its quite long!

Dear Sir,

As I am waiting for my tribunal date for the above appeal I felt I should write with an update of my condition.

I was feeling very tearful at the start of the year (it is a very anxious and worrying time waiting for my Incapacity Benefit Appeal tribunal). This tearfulness had been getting worse and my depression was as bad as it had ever been and so I thought I should visit my doctor again, thinking I may need either a higher dose of antidepressants or a change of tablets. My appointment was on 18th February. I told the doctor how anxious I have been to the point of rarely leaving the house and that I was drinking a lot in order to try and keep calm and alleviate this anxiety. The doctor prescribed ******** 10mg to be taken 3 times a day as well as Thiamine vitamin tablets. The ********** stops the anxiety and is a relaxant and I therefore do not need to drink whilst taking them. However, as they are addictive, they are not something that can be taken forever. What I will do once the doctor advises me to stop taking them I just don’t know because I don’t want to go back to drinking so much alcohol again.

Previous to this I had been advised by letter and on the phone by the Department of Work and Pensions to claim Jobseekers while I was waiting for my IB tribunal and was told that this wouldn’t affect my appeal. I have found this very hard to contemplate doing but I eventually visited the DWP website and realised I could apply online. However, they still need to see you in person and I had my appointment on 27th January in the Bedworth Jobcentre Plus. I was very anxious and very upset and found the whole process very difficult even though the staff there were very understanding. I was asked to write down my qualifications but because my condition affects my memory and clear thinking I found this very difficult and couldn’t remember what I had attained at college. I was told that I had to be looking for a job to claim Jobseekers Allowance and I said to them that I just couldn’t do this. The lady suggested that she put only 2 hours per day as the maximum I could work and my claim was put through. I was told by two different people whilst I was there that I wouldn’t, however, be entitled to Jobseekers Allowance but I could still come to sign on in order for my NI stamp to be paid.

When I returned home I was so upset and shaky that I decided it just wasn’t worth getting in such a state in order to sign on and just get my NI contributions paid. I therefore filled in the form and posted it back to the Jobcentre stating that I wanted to stop my claim because I was too ill. It was a relief knowing that I wouldn’t have to attend any more appointments, even though it also meant I wouldn’t be receiving any benefit.

A week or so later, however, I received a letter from the Jobcentre Plus in Birmingham saying that I was entitled to the Jobseekers Allowance of £60.50 per week but as I had stopped my claim I would get just one payment. I was very upset that I had been given the wrong information from the staff at Bedworth and managed to arrange a reclaim for my Jobseekers Allowance. It is very difficult for me to keep attending the Jobcentre as I get extremely agitated and upset and it is also very hard for me to be anywhere at a specific time. I look at the clock and am very aware that I have to leave the house at a certain time and I get very anxious and tearful. I then realise that I just can’t go (whether its shopping or to an appointment) and I will sit and try to calm myself down and convince myself that Im not going to go. Once I have relaxed and decided to stay in the house I feel much better. However, if its an appointment that I must attend I then try to leave the house and try to stay in that less anxious state of mind. This is very difficult to do and I don’t really know how long I will be able to go and sign on at the Jobcentre. I cannot imagine doing this every fortnight for months and months – its very hard to keep myself together in order to keep attending appointments. Also, as I have to drive to get to the Jobcentre I cannot take my *********** either the night before or during the day of my appointment as you cannot drive whilst taking these. This, of course, means my anxiety returns and all my symptoms are exacerbated again.

If it hadn’t been for my 2 daughters I really don’t think I would be here today because there have been many times that I have just wondered what the point of it all is. However, I have always protected them as they grew up from knowing just how bad my condition was and I could never do anything that meant I would leave them. I sometimes just don’t want to go on but the thought of ending things and the affect this would have on them is just something I can’t contemplate. I try to be a good role model and encourage them to do their best at everything they do and this is so hard when I am at home all the time and can’t work. If I could go out to work and earn some money I would because this is how I want them to see me – as a normal working mum. However, I have this dark and overwhelming condition that stops me doing the things I would like. I don’t attend social events and even find holidays difficult. I went away for a holiday abroad with my husband last year wanting to have a relaxing time in the sun and yet I was so anxious the whole time that I couldn’t wait to get home again. I had a pain in my chest for the first 4 days and couldn’t breathe very deeply because it hurt. I also had very bad heartburn the whole time I was there. I was frequently in tears and it wasn’t the relaxing time I had hoped for at all. My husband is always lovely and very supportive but this is the way my depression affects me.

This condition is the most awful thing to experience as it stops me from being the person I used to be and it stops me from being a normal mum and doing the normal things that other people do. To attend a medical to assess whether I can continue receiving IB and to be told the result is that I am able to work makes me wonder if the doctor in question knows anything about depression at all. It is very hard to convey at these appointments just how badly my depression affects my life. I have to try really hard to keep myself together in order to attend the medical in the first place and my husband has to come with me or I wouldn’t manage to go at all. The result is that I may seem to be a lot better than I am - I am used to hiding just how bad I am in front of certain people such as my daughters or people I don’t’ know very well. However, when I then return home I am anxious and in a state and start drinking to calm myself down again.

I have to write all this down to send in a letter because when I see people face to face my brain just turns to cotton wool and I can’t remember anything that I meant to say and I find it hard to get my point across. Therefore, if there are any other updates or things I feel you ought to know before my tribunal I will put it in writing to let you know. This is easier than if I tried to explain everything on the actual day.

Yours sincerely,

whitevanwoman

Tiff wrote: »

Hi beth!

How are you, sweetheart?

Just to sum up your mission so far for you...

- Request letters from your OH, family, neighbours, best friends, the cat (don't ask the dog!)

"And why not?" she asked indignantly.
I get more sense out of my dog than I do out of most people The cats only show any interest when their bowl is empty!


Beachbeth - have a look at www.theyworkforyou.com
A friend of mine is going through a similar process to you at the moment - although during his last medical they said he wasn't fit for work, the JC+ is still pressurising him into attending interviews etc and it is really stressing him and causing a relapse in his condition (also mental health related). The focus on this new strategy seems to be to get people to do even just a few hours a week's work, regardless of whether the stress and anxiety this causes will in itself cause a deterioration in their mental health. The system might work for those with long term back problems or other physical problems but I think where mental health is concerned there isn't sufficient understanding or support. This is why it is important that your MP is aware how damaging this process is.


Hang on in there - I haven't read the rest of Tiff's post yet but I'm sure that as always, there will be some good advice and warm thoughts in it.

absolutebounder

Butterfly_Kisses wrote: »

Hello everyone

I've been struggling with depression for a while but only recently faced up to it. My GP has refered me to a CBT therapist who I saw for the first time last week and I'll be seeing again tomorrow.
Has anyone else had experience of this kind of therapy and do they feel it really helped?

Thanks BK

We cant discus therapies either but suffice to say you will get out of it what you put into in. the stupid thing is that if you are determined to be there and help yourself the therapy is three quarters done. The reason being that you have all the resources inside you to defeat depression. a therapist just has to help you find one or two.
if however you dont want to go or are busy making up excuses then it wont work because deep down you have no intention of getting better.