Depression Support Thread

alba37

rosepink1984 wrote: »

I feel like I'm dying today. Am absolutely worn out and have a huge headache. Fog brain is descending and I can feel depression approaching. I'm going to take it really easy today, maybe watch a film, and try to get some more sleep.
Hugs to everyone, especially Jo_R, and thanks May for the pic and AB for the story, they made me smile

How's your day going? Hope you are feeling a little better and your day is going ok. It's so hard when you feel bad, but the best thing you can do is keep occupied, or sleep through it as much as possible.

Take care

A x

Tulip

:hello: Everyone,

I went out today to Torquay to exchange t-shirt for another size and they didnt have one so I got refund on Giftcard,they phoned up their store in Exeter who had the size I wanted,so they reserved it for me there and then.I thanked them and went to Exeter to get it.Its a perfect fit.I had lunch out at £1.99 at Burger King and it was nice as it included drink as well.

I got home just after 3.30pm,Rang parents to say I was back home now.I will be seeing them tomorrow to give them chocs and card for today for their wedding anniversary.They dont mind waiting which is nice of them but its just one day late thats all.Went on internet to find I was a winner of Mito Rally the car driving simulator of an Ipod Nano.I am so over the moon.Dad will have my silver ipod so I am happy.

Katie

mezer3000

hey

well done katie

went home last night as I had an orthodontist appointment back there, to sort out the continual screw up that is my retainers. And they just screwed them up a bit more - look damn awful - to the point i dont even want to wear them - but blah

feeling really rubbish again. I hate coming back here. Walked in and the house is a tip, even though i cleaned like mad all day monday, and im all alone again.

Being pressured by my parents to make up my mind as to what i want to do - but i just don't know.

i'm just so fed up of always feeling like this.

alba37

Tulip wrote: »

:hello: Everyone,

I went out today to Torquay to exchange t-shirt for another size and they didnt have one so I got refund on Giftcard,they phoned up their store in Exeter who had the size I wanted,so they reserved it for me there and then.I thanked them and went to Exeter to get it.Its a perfect fit.I had lunch out at £1.99 at Burger King and it was nice as it included drink as well.

I got home just after 3.30pm,Rang parents to say I was back home now.I will be seeing them tomorrow to give them chocs and card for today for their wedding anniversary.They dont mind waiting which is nice of them but its just one day late thats all.Went on internet to find I was a winner of Mito Rally the car driving simulator of an Ipod Nano.I am so over the moon.Dad will have my silver ipod so I am happy.

Katie

Well done Katie!!! So nice to hear you had another win! You need to update your sig now! Glad you had a nice day too, and got your T Shirt changed.

A x

Tiff_2

Hi mezer!

Sorry it's taken me so long to get back to you, bry - keep running out of Tiffing. How are you, angel?

I'm glad you and beth liked my post with and in it. I've collected so many smileys - I'm dying to find just the right time to use this one - ! Bad Tiffster!

I also noticed that you've got one of my bad habits - throwing out smiles and laughs when I'm talking about my problems. It's partly a self-defence mechanism and partly down to the fact that what I really wanted to put, was lots of tears and fear and hurt and worry. What I've learned from this wonderful thread, is that people understand how we're feeling and that I can be open with them and the posting is the main thing, hunnie.

Thank you for your reply giving me some of the facts, hunnie. Please don't ever apologise about ''long, rambly posts'' bry - mine seem to get through. You did really well to separate out the issues hun, which is usually the first thing to do, even though they do affect each other. It helps make things a bit more manageable for us when we can break it all up. Please remember that I'm not a professional, bry - always check out your options and choices with your professionals.

mezer wrote:

Hey tiff
thanks for your post - i guess with me not having properly doing an introduction about whats going on and everything, and just posting little snippets, i haven't really given the full details of what is going on.
So.....where to start hahaha :rotfl:
So uni.....
I'm 20, 21 in a couple of months - scary haha - took a gap year because I really wasnt sure what to do at uni, ended up at this uni doing this course. Which was fine, loved the course in the first year. But then last new years, so at the start of my second term in the first year, i got really ill. Ended up having gladular fever (found this out 6 months afterwards ) and recurring tonsillitis, missed most of the second term. Scraped through the exams in my first year....had a good summer... had my tonsils out, passed driving test :T....and then came second year. Which was rubbish. Having missed so much due to being ill in my first year, it just went all screwy, i didnt know what i was doing and got myself in a great big muddle....and combined with other things....downhill i went. Ended up being put in for emergency counselling and meds....will come to this later....and suspended my course, just because it was going so badly.

So i'm now sitting merrily at home - trying to get "better" - ie bored out of my brain and alone all day :rolleyes:. The big issue for me at the moment, is do I want to continue my degree course...if so do i want to do it at this uni....if so am i going to have caught up in time.....will i have got "better" enough for them to let me back if i want to. Then its a case of, ok if i do want to come back, where am i going to live, or if i dont want to come back, where am i going to live, what else am i going to do, where am i going to work etc etc etc:huh:
so multiple deadlines approaching at once - uni, housing etc etc so thats the course side

You have been through an awful lot in the last year and a half, bry - with both your physical and mental health. No wonder you're feeling so overwhelmed hun. You put yourself down an awful lot, which I won't agree with. Your reserves of strength have taken a large bash but you need to recognize that anyone would be struggling with what you've had to deal with. And yet inspite of all this, you still managed to pass your exams and your driving test.:T And I'm really glad you praised yourself for that, angel!
Are you clear of your glandular fever now, hun? You have to make allowances for yourself after having any long term illness, because you can become completely run down and extremely tired and it takes a while to build yourself up again. Try not to set any expectations on yourself hunnie - give yourself some recovery time. Okay bry - and here we go with some Tiffy thoughts.

Uni...
You did the right thing in suspending your course bry, rather than just throwing it all in immediately. This was done to give you some needed breathing space and now you have to make the best choices for you. Only you can make these decisions about uni angel, as you know, but it may help you decide if you can think of them separately, by breaking them down into even smaller pieces and putting them in a different order. Either way angel, I feel it's time now for you to make these decisions, in my humble opinion.

Focus on each step one at a time rather than have the whole thing swirling in your head. It may be a good idea to actually sit down with a pen and paper and answer each question in black and white. You don't jump ahead or move onto the next question until you've answered the previous one. You see, your first answer may lead you away from even having to make other decisions on the same point. Try and keep your answers to yes or no wherever possible, as this will stop the other questions flooding in again. Also hunnie, the kindest thing you can do for yourself is to be completely honest and realistic while you're doing it.

In the morning, get the kettle on, remove all distractions. I think I'd follow this process to start with...

- do my health professionals think I should be well enough to return to uni fairly soon?
If yes, ask them for a letter to support your return. If no, stop. There's no point in continuing answering if returning is going to damage your health long term - please listen to your professionals advice.

- being very honest, do I feel deep down that I need to take a more long term break from uni, because of my health or any other reasons?
If yes, speak to your personal tutor and Student Services to find out what your future options are. If no, move on to the next question.

- will the uni support me in returning to my course?
If yes, find out how the uni will support you returning to your course? Talk to your personal tutor to find out what help's available. If no, stop. There's no point in continuing answering if the uni won't support you returning.

- am I still interested in the actual course subject itself?
If yes, move on to the next question. If no, stop. There's no point in continuing answering if you have lost interest in the subject.

- am I now, or will I be well enough fairly soon, to be able to return to my studies?

If yes, move on to the next question. If no, stop. There's no point in continuing answering if you are not going to be well enough to cope or return.

- will I be able to manage catching up, as well as continuing on, with my studies?

If yes or maybe, find out from Student Services what support might be available to you if you return. If it's a definite no, stop. There's no point in continuing answering if you think this workload is going to be too much to manage, or if it will set you back healthwise.

- would it really help me to have a fresh start at another uni?
If yes, talk to Student Services and ask about the possibility of a transfer and also whether you can transfer any credits you've already gained. If no, stop. There's no point in continuing answering if you don't think this will help you.

- would I want to do the same course at another uni?
If yes, you've made a decision. If no, stop. There's no point in continuing answering if you don't want the same course somewhere else. Explore what other courses may be available and of interest to you.

After the questions are answered and you've got the relevant information you need from your tutors and Student Services, that's really when you'll have proper options to choose from, sweetheart. Hopefully, this first process will help you to narrow down, and find out, what your options are and then you can make informed choices, rather than dealing with 'ifs and buts'. As I said hunnie, in order to feel better, you need to ask yourself these questions and then work with your honest answers.

Here are a few links regarding uni which may be of interest hunnie, although the best answers may come from your own uni...

http://www.student.counselling.co.uk/guide.html

http://www.ucas.com/

This is a discussion and help site:
http://www.studentdepression.org/
http://www.studentdepression.org/university_college_support.php

I really hope this didn't sound condescending in any way angel - it's not meant like that. All this is just my humble opinion, bry. I've given you a lot of thoughts here because uni is one major basis for a lot of your other decisions, and I'll leave you with this for a day or two before posting the rest if you'd still like me to do so. I hope I've made some sense here.

You're going through a rough patch angel I know, but please don't drink if you can help it bry. You'll need a clear head, hunnie - not even more problems. And please be reassured that there are many students across the country in the same position as you are in.
Thinking of you hun. Be kind to yourself angel.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

mezer3000

that just made me cry

thank you. i wish the student advisors here were that helpful.

I've asked them for a mentor quite a few times, but because i don't have a disability (in their eyes) they won't help me. I just feel like i'm banging my head on the wall sometimes.

i cant promise im actually going to sit down and make those decisions anytime soon, but if you could carry on with what you were going to say - whenever you get time!!!! - then that would be really nice.

with regards to the glandular fever, nothing ever really happened about it - by the time i got to the doctors with it, my blood tests were coming back as "has had it", so i guess that means its gone?

one day i just feel like im gonna burst, and everything is just going to come flooding out.

rosepink1984

alba37 wrote: »

How's your day going? Hope you are feeling a little better and your day is going ok. It's so hard when you feel bad, but the best thing you can do is keep occupied, or sleep through it as much as possible.

Take care

A x

I'm doing better now thanks. I watched TV, the beginning of Vera Drake (will finish it off tomorrow) and had a good sleep. Have also washed up which is good as I'm always really behind with that. I hate it, I go in the kitchen and it's always piled up and I do try to get on top of it but never quite make it before lots more is created! Might have another bash at it later! I'm still tired, but feel more positive. Going to take it easy this evening still. DH has bought me chocolate! :j

Well done on your win Katie, and the t-shirt. Sounds like you have had a good day. How come you win so much? Where are the competitions you enter?

Mezer, sorry you are feeling so down. Do you think you would feel better if you moved back to your home town where you know more people? You might not feel so lonely? Just a thought anyway. - just seen Tiff's post. Very good post.

How are you Alba?

ETA: Sorry Tiff, cross posted with you. Wise words as always.

donnydiva

Hi there Tiff :hello:

Wow!! What can I say? I signed on tonight, and was totally amazed by the time and effort you must have spent in composing such a brilliant draft letter.:T

Reading some of the other posts on this thread (which I am new to), I can fully understand how and why you are appreciated by the people you have helped, and do help, on here.

It spells out so well my dads, and my situation, it really means a lot to me that you have helped me like this (I dont want to sound gushing!) its just genuinely how I feel.

Apart from a slight update regarding the social worker which occurred today, the rest is spot on.

The slight update is that, I decided before visiting my dad today, that whilst in the hospital, I would try to contact the social worker concerned with my dads case. After a bit of searching down various corridors (you know how it is finding your way round a hospital!) I found the department.

There was a reception hatch inside the door, and I saw a lady there and asked if it would be possible to have a word with the social worker. It turned out, unfortunately that she was tied up in a meeting.

She then asked if the social worker could phone me. I then went into an explanation of how I didnt like getting phone calls on my mobile with 'incoming call - private' as you dont know who is phoning you, they, on the other end do, and I end up getting quite stressed dealing with 'unexpected callers' (if you understand what I mean) Then I said a little about being unable to visit as I would like due to financial reasons, and my own circumstances. The poor woman got a bit bombarded, but luckily she was very understanding, said for me to calm down, and she listened. Then she asked if I had had anything to drink (perhaps she suspected I was under the influence with my ramblings!) and would I like a tea or coffee? she came back with a coffee and a couple of biscuits, as she said, to keep my blood sugar levels up.

Just that bit of time, and consideration was so nice (and unexpected). It was a little gesture, but thoughtful in that she was concerned how I was, aswell as the situation with my dad.

She seemed to take on board my comment about the phone calls, so looked in her diary, and we decided on a mutually agreeable appointment on Thursday, when I usually go to see my dad again anyway. So I shall see how that goes, and what comes of it.

My dad looked very tired when I saw him, which he has done since the endoscopy last Wednesday. He's also getting quite confused, as his days have no structure, and there is no tv/radio facilities, and no day room there (they are updating the hospital at the moment) I was informed that he would be moving to another ward later on today/tonight, as that, where he is now is classed as a surgical ward, and he is to be moved to a medical ward. Hopefully if that happens, he may be surrounded by people a bit more livelier, which will help him.

Reading this thread makes you realise what a variety of worries people have, and how 'lost' we can sometimes feel in this world. I can recognise the signs that I am under a lot of stress at the minute, and I am determined that I ain't going to be made ill, with all the phaffing about other people are doing.

But when you feel so low, the very time you need the energy to fight, it isnt there, and you dont want to fight, why should you?

Thats when acts of kindness like your brilliant reply back to me, and the lady today, gives you encouragement that there are decent people out there.

And, through the local cafe, my dad had been going in, I have met two wonderful people, a man and wife, who, despite only knowing them maybe a few months, and properly knowing them maybe a couple, have/and are so helpful, kind and supportive. It may sound corny, but to me they seem like guardian angels sent to help me through all this. Maybe, I dont know, my mum up there has thought I need a bit of help, and guided me to them. They texted to see how I was today, and when I said I was at the hospital, said that, if I wanted, they would pick me up as they were doing some shopping. So because of having the car (because I dont drive) I was able to get quite a bit in, had a wander round which was a distraction from my thoughts, and even drove me to my dads bungalow so I could drop off a bag of cat litter for his cat (becausee they are quite heavy) and then helped me (as I live in a flat) carry my bags in. Plus if I have called round for coffee, she saves magazines for me, as I like to read them but cant afford to buy many, and sneaks biscuits, or the other week, a box of choccies, she said she had got for Xmas and wouldnt eat, into the same bag. But they dont make a bit fuss of what they are doing either. When I get chance I want to make it up to them, because without their help, I dont know where I would have been.

You all sound like such nice people, who don't deserve the (pardon the expression) crap that life is sending your way.

By the way Tiff, I love the pictures, especially the cat ones, they're really funny and sweet. I love cats. I feel sorry for my dads cat because she doesnt understand what is going on and misses my dads company as she is a homely cat. But, luckily another Good Samaritan from the cafe, lives near the bungalow, and likes cats, (and can be trusted) so has the spare key to call in, if I cant get one day to give her food, water, change her tray etc.

She used to be quite fussy with her food, but now is grateful for what she gets!! Shes healthy though, and isnt pining or anything which is good.

anyway I shall sign off here and try to get some shuteye. Once again many thanks Tiff for your time with the letter.

hugs and best wishes to you all

xxxxxxxxxx

maytaurus

Tiff_2

Hi guys!
I hope we're all as well as we can be this morning.

Well, I've had my usual 3.75 hours of sleep, , (that's to say it has become usual over the last 3 weeks!), and I was just about to have some brekkie, when I saw our may's picture today! Some things are just plain wrong! It's okay may hunnie, I really need to go on a diet and I appreciate the inspiration. Hoping all is well with you, may.

I haven't decided what kind of day it's going to be for me yet, so I'll have to get back to you on that one. To all our lovely clan members who are struggling, please hang in there. I know you're going through a whole range of emotions and experiences guys, but if it helps, try and remember that this is what you're feeling now - and this will change, because everything does change. I want to post replies to so many of you, even if it's to offer a hug, and I'm sorry if I'm a bit slow at the moment - you're never forgotten.

The other thing I want to say, which will sound very odd, is that if you have a professional involved guys, please don't be afraid to use them. It doesn't matter if you've told them the same thing a thousand times, it's what they are there for and they do want a chance to help you. That's what mental ill health can be like when we're struggling - ''What's the point? They know my situation. They can't do anything.'' Please just give them a chance - they need to know when you have any bad times and they might be able to do something before you hit rock bottom. Meanwhile, I'm sure you all know that the clan is here for you too.

Feeling the need to cheer myself up a little too, so...

Works for me every time!

Right folks, I'll give you some peace and quiet now. I'm off to the cat basket, - I hope no-one let the fire go out!!!
Safe journeys all and be kind to yourself.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx