Depression Support Thread

Tiff_2

Hi donny!
How are you hun? I hope dad's feeling better, bless him.
Thank you for your kind words angel - you're more than welcome. Just to reassure you, and everyone else, that I'm not immune to brain fog either.
And as so often is the case, sadly you don't know what help is out there until you trip over it. Let's get on with the practical stuff, shall we hun?

Letter

Dear Mr/Ms.....,(your father's consultant),

I am writing to you regarding my elderly father, ..... ....., who is currently a patient on ..... Ward, to express my concerns and to provide relevant information regarding his intended discharge.

I am the only child and there is no other family. My mum died after having dementia for 6 years last July. He is the only family I have left.

My father, who is 80 years old, has had 4 falls within 6 weeks over Christmas and is currently in hospital and has been for nearly 4 weeks now. He has various health problems, including a leaking heart valve. Just before he was admitted to hospital due to having had the 4th fall, he had been told by his heart consultant that he would have to have an endoscopy, and that it looked like his heart valve was getting worse which may involve an operation, which at his age with the effects of anaesthetic, greatly worried both himself and me.

My father was due to be assigned a social worker through the hospital and when I visited my father on 19th February, I was told she was due back on 20th February, having had a week's holiday.

My concerns are as follows:

The fact that he has had 4 falls in 6 weeks over Christmas, which should be enough of an indication that more help is needed and that my father isn't safe on his own and needs more support;

He was told that a week and a half ago he was 'medically fit' to be discharged. However, there has yet to be a new community care assessment done of his health status and home situation;

We need a care plan to be fully in place before his discharge. My father lives alone and there needs to be sufficient social care put in place so that he isn't vulnerable or at risk when discharged;

Unfortunately, my health is now poor and it has to be an important factor in deciding on my father's care plan. I am now sadly unable to be a part of my father's discharge care package in any way, due to my own poor health. It's not that I'm unwilling to help my father but sadly, that I'm just not in a position to help him any more;

I believe an assessment of my ability to care for my father should also be made before he is discharged, should you need any evidence. I am signed off work with both depression/anxiety, having gone through a medical which passed me as unfit for work which is reviewed after a year, or until I get better. I am also receiving counselling. I live in a 4th floor flat, with no car, no washing machine, and exist on £60.50 Income Support a week. I am now severely limited in being able to help my father in any way, as I'm sure you can understand;

My own mental and physical health has deteriorated more through the stress of seeing my father so ill and worrying about what will happen to him on discharge and how we will manage. In all honesty, I haven't been able to grieve for the loss of my mother yet.
I would appreciate a copy of this letter being put into my father's medical records please so that it's available to any professionals involved. I don't think my concerns are unreasonable, it's just that I'm naturally very worried.

I would be grateful for any assistance that can be afforded to my father, to ensure that his safety and care are maintained and that the appropriate measures are in place before his discharge.

Thank you for your time and understanding.

Yours sincerely,

..... .....

cc: ......... (the hospital manager)
......... (your father's gp)
......... ( the social worker)
......... (PALS)

* This mean you're sending copies of your letter to the people you name. It's up to you angel whether you want to add PALS to the list. I think it would be a good idea to contact them on the hospital site and explain the situation to them. They can hopefully act directly between you and the hospital.

I hope this helps sweetheart - please feel free to use any or none of it.
Take care donny.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi sazzy!
How are you hunnie? Just thought it was about time we checked in on you.
So, what have you been up to angel?
* Please only tell me about legal stuff 'cos I don't want to be an accessory before, during or after the fact! *

Erm, I don't know how to say this sweetie, but I was snuffling around down in the Tiff archives when I came across something you might want to be aware of...

Now I didn't do this one, okay hun? I can only guess due to the spelling and phonetics, that this must be an example of an urban adolescent chavvie-badgie.

I'm hoping both you and gilly-badgie are well, sazzy and just wanted to send you Tiffy hugs for tonight's counselling session.
I will be more than happy to share more of the same with your mr.counsellor!
Big hugs to you both hunnie - take care.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Jo_R_2

Quick hello from me again, still here with no baby!

Going to have a quick shower before taking DD1 to school and then DD2 to playgroup this morning. Think this afternoon is going to be a long stretch, planning on doing baking but what will prob happen is I will have a looong sit /lie down whilst DD2 entertains herself for a bit.

See the midwife again tomorrow. I'm so tired, I've even been sleeping a bit better than I was but exhasuted come afternoon

Hugs to all xxxxxxxx

beachbeth

That was a really good letter, Tiff. It covered all points and explained everything very well. Nice of you to spend time doing it too! I was thinking about my IB tribunal and whether it was worth writing to my MP. If you have any ideas what I could put in a letter I would be more than grateful (Im not being cheeky asking you to write a letter for me, I just don't know about MP's and how they work).

Haven't had a drink since Saturday and so feeling a bit more optimistic this morning about things. My daughter went off this morning still upset about the sexual harrassment business at work. She's at college but works at the weekend. The stupid idiot involved may lose his job over this but he is a manager and should know better than to turn up drunk during his time off and then annoy and harrass people (although it has come to light that he has harrassed my daughter before and she hasn't said anything!) My daughter just wanted to forget all about it but someone else reported him and I think they were right to do so. It was just upsetting for her having to sit with head office people and tell them what happened. She's only 18 and so has never experienced anything like this before. What is it with some men that they have to behave like this!:mad:

Anyway, I am feeling more cheery this morning believe it or not!:D Im hoping the sun will come out and I can take my dogs for a nice long walk (could do with walking some pounds off as Im feeling a bit podgy!:p )

Have a good day everyone and get well soon, LM.

beachbeth

Jo_R wrote: »

See the midwife again tomorrow. I'm so tired, I've even been sleeping a bit better than I was but exhasuted come afternoon

I can remember getting very tired when I was pregnant and really needed my afternoon naps. My midwife always told everyone to make sure they had their naps as it was very important and it recharged your batteries. So it sounds like your tiredness is completely normal! Don't think its self indulgent to take it easy if you can - you need to look after yourself as you need to be in full health to give birth and look after your baby!

absolutebounder

A father passing by his son's bedroom, was astonished to see the bed
was nicely made, and that everything was picked up and tidy.
Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed,

'Dad.'

With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the
letter, with trembling hands.

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing to you. I had to
elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with
Mum and you.

I've been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I
knew you would not approve of her, because of all her piercings',
tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much
older than I am.

But it's not only the passion, Dad. She's pregnant.
Stacy said that we will be very happy.
She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter.
We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't, really
hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with
the other people in the commune, for all the cocaine and
ecstasy we want.

In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS, so
Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself.
Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit, so you can get to know
your many grandchildren.

Love, your son, Joshua.

P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Jason's house.
I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in
life than the School report that's on the kitchen table.

Tulip

:hello: Everyone,

Hope all is well,I am fine today,I am off to TKMAXX to change my limited edition t-hshirt for a bigger one that will fit me nicely so hoping the branch in Torquay will do this although I got it from their Exeter branch yesterday.

I am going to have a lovely day,Sorry to hear those are struggling with Life,It will get easier by the day believe me I have had a good run of feeling well and happy just lately and for me that is good.

*hugs* to those that need one,Anni hope you get well soon and sorry you are still not well ether.

love and light,

Katie xxx

rosepink1984

I feel like I'm dying today. Am absolutely worn out and have a huge headache. Fog brain is descending and I can feel depression approaching. I'm going to take it really easy today, maybe watch a film, and try to get some more sleep.
Hugs to everyone, especially Jo_R, and thanks May for the pic and AB for the story, they made me smile

Sazbo

Tiff wrote: »

Hi sazzy!
How are you hunnie? Just thought it was about time we checked in on you.
So, what have you been up to angel?
* Please only tell me about legal stuff 'cos I don't want to be an accessory before, during or after the fact! *

Now I didn't do this one, okay hun? I can only guess due to the spelling and phonetics, that this must be an example of an urban adolescent chavvie-badgie.

I'm hoping both you and gilly-badgie are well, sazzy and just wanted to send you Tiffy hugs for tonight's counselling session.
I will be more than happy to share more of the same with your mr.counsellor!
Big hugs to you both hunnie - take care.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Hello my darling tiffy pal :hello:

Thanks for the [STRIKE]harranging[/STRIKE] shoutout:D and the good wishes, which are always welcome. I'm not too bad thanks hun. Work's a bit of a drag tbh, well that and the three hours spent travelling to and from it everyday:rolleyes: It's dark when we leave in the morning and dark when we get home - which might be ok for badgers but not for humans! So I've been doing some thinking of late - thinking maybe it's time for a change of focus workwise - don't ask me what as yet! But I've been with my current employer for 11 years, which I've enjoyed hugely for the most part... but maybe it's time for a change. Me and gilly badger have also been talking about moving setts - but there are various complications involved there - nothing that's not solveable in time, so we'll see. But we are very happy together and tbh everything else is just small potatoes:D

I shall pass on your regards this evening to mr counsellor;):D And you take good care of yourself missy ok? Sazzy's orders!! And same goes to everyone here :kisses3:

Have a good day everyone :wave:

Much love,
Sazzy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Jo_R_2

Okay, so got through the morning, just got back from playgroup and DD2 is having a bit of quiet time. I feel utterly exhausted - not sure what this thing is that people keep saying to me that I look like I'm "ready to pop" but apparently lots of people think it LOL!

Seriously though, whilst I did wait three weeks for DD2 to arrive, in hopes of still getting my home birth, and I don't have a problem with it in principle, if I feel like this now I'm gonna be struggling a lot if it's another week or two weeks... Mornings I can just about deal with, especially if we have something planned like today, but afternoons are the killer. Doesn't help that OH is on a really difficult job this week and was late home last night, and will probably be late for the next few days as well