Depression Support Thread

Cutterby

razorbladekisses wrote: »

This week seems to have gone on forever. Not been a great week either. My social worker and I ended up going to A&E. If it had been an accident I could have just seen the nurse but because it's self-harm you have to see the Dr. Anyway, the Dr. was alright but unfortunately he couldn't stitch the cut as 24 hours had passed. Anyway, he's done his best with steri-strips and it's looking alright

As a result of the A&E trip I had to see my psychiatrist the following day. He's upped my anti-depressants and prescribed me a mood stabliser/anti-mania drug (won't mention which one as we aren't allowed :shhh:). Anyway, I haven't taken it yet, I'm a bit scared to as it has some nasty side-effects and you have to have regular blood tests as it can affect the liver :eek: I hate blood tests!!! The thought of it makes me start sweating and feel nauseous.

How does everyone manage their prescription costs? For some reason my Dr. is now only prescribing a week at a time. I can afford it but I wish they would prescribe more. It doesn't seem fair that some people pay £7.10 an item for say a months supply and I'm paying £7.10 an item each week! Plus I have a few items.

:hello: to all the new posters and welcome to the thread. Everyone else, I've been reading all the posts. I know some of you are really struggling so (((HUGS)))

Hi RBK, sorry to jump in, I've been reading through but not been confident enough to post - yet! Just wanted to say you can get pre-payment certificates to help with prescription costs - they're ABOUT £102.50 for a year and £27.85 for 3 months - might save you some money on weekly items. Sorry to hear you've had such a pants week too - huge hugs xxx


Now I've taken the plunge and posted, I'm gonna introduce myself properly - in a new post.. :eek:

Sssssss

rosepink1984 wrote: »

Oh Ssssss, you poor thing love. Do you think it's because you are back at work? I know this makes me more anxious even tho the work itself isn't stressful. Or is there anything else worrying you?
Even if you are much better, you will still go through bad patches. Just remember that life is full of ups and downs but if you are down, you will get an up! This will pass, and you will feel more optomistic again.
You can't change the past, but you can make sure your future, and your families future is good. I'm sure in the past you did the best you could at the time, so don't beat yourself up about that. You can't change it, you can only do your best from this moment forth, within the limitations your illness imposes upon you.
Am thinking of you, make sure you keep in touch and let us all know how you are

Hi rosepink, I think you are right it's probably down to the fact I've started work, which is a good thing but has also fired up bad memories of my old job which was the trigger to my depression. Just like you my new job isn't stressful but just having to be somewhere at a certain time does cause me stress. Generally I think I'm just worried about the future, I'm now earning a 1/4 of what I used to and feel as though I've taken a leap backwards. Thanks for your kind words and as you say 'it will pass'

rosepink1984

Sssssss wrote: »

Hi rosepink, I think you are right it's probably down to the fact I've started work, which is a good thing but has also fired up bad memories of my old job which was the trigger to my depression. Just like you my new job isn't stressful but just having to be somewhere at a certain time does cause me stress. Generally I think I'm just worried about the future, I'm now earning a 1/4 of what I used to and feel as though I've taken a leap backwards. Thanks for your kind words and as you say 'it will pass'

That is exactly how I feel about work - having to be somewhere and act normal (!) for a few hours is sooooo stressful. I do worry that I will be well enough to cope and not make stupid mistakes due to fog brain. And I worry that I will end up losing this job like I lost the old one.
DH says that worrying is pointless and makes all of the above MORE likely to happen! That's true, but we can't always help worrying, anxiety is part of depression.
Sssss, don't let your self worth be determined by your wages. I know it's hard financially because of a cut in wages, but you are a success. You are battling with a terrible illness, providing and caring for your family and trying to be a nice human being. All of those things make you a success. It's not a step backwards, just another step along the journey of life. At least you have a job! I hope you start to feel a bit more positive soon.
I've got this week off, had last week off too which was nice. I asked my boss for some time off, cos I was catching every virus going, have been ill since the beginning of January and then got a bad cold the week before last and decided I needed to rest and get well. Have been trying to get my home a bit cleaner and tidier. It looks better, and I'm feeling better.
Have to into the village tomorrow (gulps and stomach flips) to go to Doctors, chemist, library and post office. Am a bit scared! But it will be ok once I get there. And once I'm there it won't be long til I'm home again. _pale_

rosepink1984

Cutterby wrote: »

Hi RBK, sorry to jump in, I've been reading through but not been confident enough to post - yet! Just wanted to say you can get pre-payment certificates to help with prescription costs - they're ABOUT £102.50 for a year and £27.85 for 3 months - might save you some money on weekly items. Sorry to hear you've had such a pants week too - huge hugs xxx


Now I've taken the plunge and posted, I'm gonna introduce myself properly - in a new post.. :eek:

Hi Cutterby, welcome to the thread! We are a friendly, if slightly stressed lot!
That's a great suggestion about the pre-payment certificate, I got one a couple of weeks ago and am going to use it for the first time tomorrow! It definately will save you money in the long run RBK, and the form is dead easy to fill in! It takes about five mins tops online.
Am thinking of you RBK, big hugs to you and to anyone else who wants one!

Tiff_2

Hi guys!
Here we go again.
Apologies for not getting back here yesterday guys - by the time I had time it really wasn't the time to Tiff as I was feeling a tad sorry for myself. Hopefully, normal Tiffing service will be resumed shortly...if it was ever what you could call ''normal''!

I'm happy to start the day off by sending a sincere Tiffy to cutterby! Thanks for your tip, hunnie. I think it was lovely of you to post considering you were feeling a little shy about posting and I look forward to your next post. See - that didn't hurt a bit, did it angel? We promise not to bite...although don't have any smarties in your hand when katie-tulip or sazzy are around!

I know sometimes I'll shout out a welcome to any lurkers, but we do understand here all about 'waiting for the right moment' to post. Whenever that is guys, you'll be made welcome.

Well then, here we are......
I'd comment on the weather but it's still pitch black outside. Even the blackbirds aren't up.
I guess I'd better post a piccie and get on with those replies...

Have a good day, everyone.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi guys!
Ruddy blackbirds are finally up!

Sorry - just wanted to share.:D
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi s!
I'm hoping you are well this morning, hun.

I know our rosep gave some sound advice to you yesterday, angel and I'm sorry you're struggling a bit right now. If I may, I'd like to offer a couple of thoughts of my own hunnie...

s wrote:

don't know why but for the last few days I just feel like sticking my head in an oven, I just feel so anxious all the time and don't know why. The weird dreams are back and I feel as though I could have done so much better in my life but screwed it all up. I can't even go back into my own little world as I did for the last two years as I feel family and friends will no longer understand, having seen me get better they except so much more of me. I feel so drained.

s wrote:

Hi rosepink, I think you are right it's probably down to the fact I've started work, which is a good thing but has also fired up bad memories of my old job which was the trigger to my depression. Just like you my new job isn't stressful but just having to be somewhere at a certain time does cause me stress. Generally I think I'm just worried about the future, I'm now earning a 1/4 of what I used to and feel as though I've taken a leap backwards. Thanks for your kind words and as you say 'it will pass'

As I said, rosep made some great points in reply. Let's look at this logically, (which usually doesn't apply here), hunnie and hopefully, see if it'll make you feel a little better...

- You applied for the job just after your mil passed away and you were over the moon when you got the job after not working for so long. You went from the thrill of applying, being successful and then starting work one after the other and you rightly felt proud of yourself. It's a bit like a rollercoaster ride though s, in that for all the huge highs you've reached, you are bound to have to come down the slope again at some point. This is something we all go through, though that doesn't make it any easier hun. The initial thrill of the ride has maybe worn off a little, as it tends to do, but we have to come down those slopes in order to reach the next high point.

- You are now working for the first time in two years after suffering with depression, angel. If you weren't feeling anxious, I think I'd be a bit worried about you. All of a sudden, you're now in a regular routine and you're out in the world again, which is what you aspired to, and that's a big change for you - but it can be a very positive one and you should feel proud of yourself, s. You're bound to be anxious hunnie. Try and use whatever coping skills you learned to sit out and manage the anxiety and it will start to lessen.

- A whole new routine, the effort involved in working again and the anxiety you're feeling, is what's probably making you so tired hunnie. Be a bit kinder to yourself - you're bound to need some settling-in time. Being so anxious and putting yourself under stress worrying may be adding to the bad dreams and hopefully, these too will settle down. Hopefully this new job may help you leave behind the bad experiences of the last one.

- You talked about not even being able to go back into your ''own little world'', but that's exactly what you've been working towards beating for two years, sweetheart. We think of it as being familiar and safe but it's not, it's a trap and it's damaging - it takes us away from other people and experiences. We become stuck in all areas of our life and it takes away any confidence or self esteem we have. And we have to fight these feelings until we feel comfortable - and it can happen sweetie.

- As far as family and friends expecting too much of you angel, I'd hope it's more like they want you to beat this, to have that better quality of life. They likely want to support you after seeing you struggle for those two years, sweetheart. That's another sad thing about depression and anxiety - we anticipate what everyone else is thinking and we are convinced we know exactly what that is. Yet as with anything else, unless you actually have good evidence of this, then we have to ask ourselves if it's maybe our old familiar companion depression, that's making us feel this way? Either way hun, we recover as best we can and anyone who knows us well, wouldn't expect a 100% immediate recovery.

- Isn't hindsight a wonderful thing? Actually it can be, if we can take something from it and turn it into foresight. People without mental ill health can feel like this hun, so it's no surprise that depression just underlines these feelings for us. All our experiences, mistakes, successes - these aren't things that we should be dealing with perfectly, because it's a constant learning curve that makes us who we are, and we're living it now. And yes sweetheart, sometimes it really sucks! As rosep said, we can't change the past and I think trying to will only drive us batty. I try and take comfort in the fact that at least there's a future.

- I know it's only natural to worry about the future hun, especially when we have families and with this recession looming. I understand that you're probably frustrated with what you're earning now, as opposed to in the past, but times are coming where many people probably won't have any kind of work or will be working for a lot less. And again, these times will pass, as they eventually do. I think you should be very proud of the fact that you are bringing money in inspite of depression, angel, and there's nothing to say that you won't move on to even bigger and better things.

You may not see it yet hunnie, but you are moving forwards and at least you're giving it a try. I hope this helped a little.
Be a bit kinder to yourself, s.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

mezer3000

just randomly.....i love these two smilies - little things eh? hehe

beachbeth

rosepink1984 wrote: »

That is exactly how I feel about work - having to be somewhere and act normal (!) for a few hours is sooooo stressful. I do worry that I will be well enough to cope and not make stupid mistakes due to fog brain.

This is me too. I couldn't imagine going out to work again and having to be somewhere at a particular time and behave as though Im perfectly fine when actually my heart would be beating and my brain would be cotton wool. I wish I could go out there and bring some money into the house. If they don't reinstate my IB I don't know what I'll do.

I love those smililes too, mezer! Brought a smile to my face!

LadyMorticia

Another doctors appointment today as my glands in my neck are swollen and my inner ear is hurting so much, it's making me cry. Then there's the pain with swallowing and the painful lower back to add to that. =/
Anyway, Sam is taking me and we're going to get some more Ice Cream too. Oooo and Fanta...not that I can drink it properly or anything. :rotfl: