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Depression Support Thread

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  • shazrobo
    shazrobo Posts: 3,313 Forumite
    morning all, just been to see my cpn, was there an hour ended up in tears, as i hate talking about my problems, just want to feel normal, and not need appointments. because i have been struggling so much lately she has increased my meds, and put me back on weekly appointments to see her and the gp.

    hi rbk, like yourself, i have had to go back onto weekly prescriptions, instead of fortnightly, unfortunatly i dont work, and claim income support, so prescriptions are free for me

    hugs to all

    shaz xxx
    enjoy life, we only get one chance at it:)
  • OK so Ive been off for a while I will catch up with news later as I am exhausted, spent most of the night throwing up don't know why just woke at about 1 and felt sick, so I didn't get much sleep. Think I have finally stopped now but too scared to eat.

    Phoned work felt guilty as I had meeting this morning with the new Head of Service (I know I was nervous about this but Id done my work and was ready for it) and also I had to cancel my psychologist appointment this afternoon. Im gutted as I didn't have one last week and its my last one next week how am I going to survive.

    Thought I would have a nice quiet day at home though and did manage to get some sleep in the morning but nursery called about 11 to say youngest son had been sick and had to collect him, he seems fine in himself and I am so drained!

    I have been so low recently, but pretending not to be. I really don't know what to do anymore I am just so tired of life.
  • beachbeth
    beachbeth Posts: 3,862 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    I have been so low recently, but pretending not to be. I really don't know what to do anymore I am just so tired of life.

    Im trying to stay cheerful too but finding it hard. One of my dogs died a few weeks ago, which was upsetting, Im waiting for a date for my IB tribunal, car has just failed its MOT and needs sorting out and youngest daughter has had a bit of trouble at work with sexual harrassement which is also upsetting. Plus, someone crashed into our car a year last December and we are still waiting for this to be resolved! Its like all these things are just preying on my mind and I just want it all sorted out one way or the other.

    It does make you wonder what the point is of it all, but please try to stay cheerful even if you are just pretending to yourself. Life has a way of picking up and getting better. Im trying to concentrate on the good things:

    Spring is round the corner
    Easter is round the corner
    At least my family and I are all healthy (touch wood!)
    We're not starving or destitute
    I have a lovely, loving family and friends I can talk to

    If you find things are getting really bad, budget, please see your doctor and tell him/her how you feel. Thats what they're there for. Hugs and best wishes.
  • Jo_R_2
    Jo_R_2 Posts: 2,660 Forumite
    Wow it seems to be a bad few days for people, so lots of <<<<<<hugs>>>>> all round. Not sure I can offer much advice, my depression is quite low-key at the moment fortunately... It's after the birth that everyone is gearing up to help me which is quite scary, the way my Health Visitor speaks sometimes it's like they have an ambulance on standby LOL! :rotfl:

    I'm thinking of you all anyways, I'd love to post more but I'm hopping on inbetween keeping a watchful eye on DD2, she's playing by herself but last time I left her upstairs, I had a certain intuition something was not quite right and went up to find she'd put the hot tap in the bathroom sink on superfast and it had overflowed, the carpet smelt musty for days :o
    Dealing with my debts!
    Currently overpaying Virgin cc -
    balance Jan 2010 @ 1985.65
    Now @ 703.63
  • Sssssss
    Sssssss Posts: 1,094 Forumite
    That is exactly how I feel about work - having to be somewhere and act normal (!) for a few hours is sooooo stressful. I do worry that I will be well enough to cope and not make stupid mistakes due to fog brain. And I worry that I will end up losing this job like I lost the old one.
    DH says that worrying is pointless and makes all of the above MORE likely to happen! That's true, but we can't always help worrying, anxiety is part of depression.
    Sssss, don't let your self worth be determined by your wages. I know it's hard financially because of a cut in wages, but you are a success. You are battling with a terrible illness, providing and caring for your family and trying to be a nice human being. All of those things make you a success. It's not a step backwards, just another step along the journey of life. At least you have a job! I hope you start to feel a bit more positive soon.
    I've got this week off, had last week off too which was nice. I asked my boss for some time off, cos I was catching every virus going, have been ill since the beginning of January and then got a bad cold the week before last and decided I needed to rest and get well. Have been trying to get my home a bit cleaner and tidier. It looks better, and I'm feeling better.
    Have to into the village tomorrow (gulps and stomach flips) to go to Doctors, chemist, library and post office. Am a bit scared! But it will be ok once I get there. And once I'm there it won't be long til I'm home again. _pale_

    thank you, so much good advice in your post but I'm so glad you wrote about 'fog brain' because I have been so worried about this. I used to have a brillant memory but have found in my job that I now have to write down everything, I'm so glad I'm not alone in this. Again thank you :)
  • Sssssss
    Sssssss Posts: 1,094 Forumite
    Tiff wrote: »
    Hi s!hello.gif

    I'm hoping you are well this morning, hun.wink.gif
    I know our rosep gave some sound advice to you yesterday, angel and I'm sorry you're struggling a bit right now.sLo_hug2.gif If I may, I'd like to offer a couple of thoughts of my own hunnie...



    As I said, rosep made some great points in reply.action-smiley-033.gif Let's look at this logically, (which usually doesn't apply here), hunnie and hopefully, see if it'll make you feel a little better...
    - You applied for the job just after your mil passed away and you were over the moon when you got the job after not working for so long. You went from the thrill of applying, being successful and then starting work one after the other and you rightly felt proud of yourself.action-smiley-033.gif It's a bit like a rollercoaster ride though s, in that for all the huge highs you've reached, you are bound to have to come down the slope again at some point. This is something we all go through, though that doesn't make it any easier hun. The initial thrill of the ride has maybe worn off a little, as it tends to do, but we have to come down those slopes in order to reach the next high point.
    - You are now working for the first time in two years after suffering with depression, angel. If you weren't feeling anxious, I think I'd be a bit worried about you. All of a sudden, you're now in a regular routine and you're out in the world again, which is what you aspired to, and that's a big change for you - but it can be a very positive one and you should feel proud of yourself, s. You're bound to be anxious hunnie. Try and use whatever coping skills you learned to sit out and manage the anxiety and it will start to lessen.
    - A whole new routine, the effort involved in working again and the anxiety you're feeling, is what's probably making you so tired hunnie. Be a bit kinder to yourself - you're bound to need some settling-in time. Being so anxious and putting yourself under stress worrying may be adding to the bad dreams and hopefully, these too will settle down. Hopefully this new job may help you leave behind the bad experiences of the last one.
    - You talked about not even being able to go back into your ''own little world'', but that's exactly what you've been working towards beating for two years, sweetheart. We think of it as being familiar and safe but it's not, it's a trap and it's damaging - it takes us away from other people and experiences.redface.gif We become stuck in all areas of our life and it takes away any confidence or self esteem we have. And we have to fight these feelings until we feel comfortable - and it can happen sweetie.
    - As far as family and friends expecting too much of you angel, I'd hope it's more like they want you to beat this, to have that better quality of life. They likely want to support you after seeing you struggle for those two years, sweetheart. That's another sad thing about depression and anxiety - we anticipate what everyone else is thinking and we are convinced we know exactly what that is. Yet as with anything else, unless you actually have good evidence of this, then we have to ask ourselves if it's maybe our old familiar companion depression, that's making us feel this way? Either way hun, we recover as best we can and anyone who knows us well, wouldn't expect a 100% immediate recovery.
    - Isn't hindsight a wonderful thing?redface.gif Actually it can be, if we can take something from it and turn it into foresight. People without mental ill health can feel like this hun, so it's no surprise that depression just underlines these feelings for us. All our experiences, mistakes, successes - these aren't things that we should be dealing with perfectly, because it's a constant learning curve that makes us who we are, and we're living it now. And yes sweetheart, sometimes it really sucks! As rosep said, we can't change the past and I think trying to will only drive us batty. I try and take comfort in the fact that at least there's a future.
    - I know it's only natural to worry about the future hun, especially when we have families and with this recession looming. I understand that you're probably frustrated with what you're earning now, as opposed to in the past, but times are coming where many people probably won't have any kind of work or will be working for a lot less. And again, these times will pass, as they eventually do. I think you should be very proud of the fact that you are bringing money in inspite of depression, angel, and there's nothing to say that you won't move on to even bigger and better things.action-smiley-033.gif
    You may not see it yet hunnie, but you are moving forwards and at least you're giving it a try. I hope this helped a little.
    Be a bit kinder to yourself, s.sLo_hug2.gif
    Much Love,

    Tiff xxx

    Hi Tiff, I had a quick read of you post this morning before going off to work and have now re-read having been to work, had a great day (partly due to manager asking my opinion about things, wow made me feel good, fixed a long outstanding computer problem for them. As she said I'm someone new coming in with new ideas and new eyes).

    Anyway your post really helped put things into perspective for me, there is no way I can write as good as you so all I'll say is a BIG THANK YOU.
  • Sssssss
    Sssssss Posts: 1,094 Forumite
    shazrobo wrote: »
    morning all, just been to see my cpn, was there an hour ended up in tears, as i hate talking about my problems, just want to feel normal, and not need appointments. because i have been struggling so much lately she has increased my meds, and put me back on weekly appointments to see her and the gp.

    hi rbk, like yourself, i have had to go back onto weekly prescriptions, instead of fortnightly, unfortunatly i dont work, and claim income support, so prescriptions are free for me

    hugs to all

    shaz xxx

    hey shaz, I know it seems a pain to have to have weekly appointments, for nearly a year I was seeing my GP once a week. I used to see it as my weekly goal and always felt better for it afterwards partly due to my GP is great and it gave me a sense of achievement, getting up, showered, out the house and actually making it to the appointment.
  • maytaurus
    maytaurus Posts: 2,115 Forumite
    funny-pictures217.jpg
    The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane[FONT=&quot] —[FONT=&quot] Marcus Aurelius[/FONT][/FONT]
  • Tiff_2
    Tiff_2 Posts: 3,046 Forumite
    Hi guys!:j
    Morning all.;)
    Morning may hunnie - love your picture!:rotfl:

    I just wanted to mark the occasion here as I did in The Arms this morning...
    Hi guys!hello.gif
    hearye.gif
    HAPPY 6TH BIRTHDAY MSE!
    128769635538208513.jpg
    Now that's what you call Consumer Power! Couldn't have put it better myself. wink.gif
    Many thanks to Martin, the whole MSE Team and to all MSE posters for all their hard work and results.action-smiley-033.gif And long may it continue...sLo_hug2.gif
    Much Love,
    Tiff xxx
    "If you realized how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think a negative thought." ~ by Peace Pilgrim.
    ***
    'You just got Tiffed!' ;)
    ***
  • Tiff_2
    Tiff_2 Posts: 3,046 Forumite
    Hi anni!hello.gif
    How are you feeling today, hunnie? Sorry you've been so poorly.sLo_comfort.gif Tonsilitis, ear and throat infections can make various glands painful and swollen - poor you.:o
    I also had glandular fever years ago. They called it the 'kissing disease' - well that ain't how I got it, that's fer sure!waiting.gif (That's enough out of you, sazzy!pop.gif)
    I don't know if there's a treatment for it now, but back thenI remember it was a case of pain killers and not much else. I had to have a blood test to diagnose it, then one every few weeks to see if I still had it.
    I remember it well for two reasons: I was taking my GCE's and I only managed to do half a French exam and half a German exam before I became too ill to do any more and I also remember that I slept a lot. No change there then - gotta have my catnaps!biggrin.gif
    I hope the dr was able to help you angel and that you'll soon be feeling more like your old self. Thinking of you hunnie.sLo_hug2.gif
    Much Love,
    Tiff xxx
    "If you realized how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think a negative thought." ~ by Peace Pilgrim.
    ***
    'You just got Tiffed!' ;)
    ***
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