Depression Support Thread

Tiff_2

Hi janie!
Sorry about the lack of a proper reply janie. How are things sweetheart?

janie wrote:

afternoon all! well..........i'm v.impressed with all you lot have managed to do today...........I have done nothing-except fed my cats!LOL They won't let you rest will they??

Lol. Awww, don't worry hunnie - that's the most important job of all! I think sazzy's forgotten it's in her job description!

(Loves you sazzy!)

Don't worry too much about what you do in comparison to others angel - except for feeding the cats of course. Believe me, there are days when we all struggle and then torment ourselves with 'I should...', 'I must...' and 'I've got to...'s. Just make sure you take care of the basics angel. Do what you can do and when you're doing that more confidently, you can think about adding one more step to the list.
Hoping you're well hunnie.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi ccstar!

Sorry to hear you're poorly hun...

Bless you!:D
Sending you get well soon hugs.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi donny!
Hello sweetheart - a sincere Tiffy to the clan, angel.
Before I go on - and on! - please accept one of these in addition to savvy's one. I'm sure there'll be many to follow. Thank you for having the courage to post hunnie and I'm so sorry for the loss of your mum and your dad's health situation. I can hear that you're having such a rough time too. The good news is that there are options, angel. I know the situations are linked but there are two separate issues here donny: your dad's physical health and your own mental health and circumstances. It'll really help if we can split this up into two halves. Now I'll say right here that I'm not a professional donny, so please always research any options thoroughly. Let's break this up a little, hun...

My immediate thoughts are these donny:
Regarding your dad...
- the health authority has a duty of care to your father. The fact that he has had 4 falls in 6 weeks should be enough of an indication that more help is needed and that your dad isn't safe on his own.
- an assessment both of your father's health and his home need to be made before discharge.
- a care plan needs to be fully in place before his discharge.
- your own health has to be an important factor in deciding on dad's care plan.
- you have the right for a community care assessment to be made on dad and if you are not happy with the results, you can ask to speak to a member of the hospital management.
- you do have the right to say that you are unable to be a part of your dad's care package in any way, due to your own poor health.

Of course hun, I know this will all seem very daunting to someone who's own health is compromised. But there are people on site who can help you. I've been down to the Tiff archives, and found some interesting links. I don't know what area of the UK you're in so I've tried to find national guidelines...
If the situation is urgent angel, I'd suggest getting in touch with PALS at the hospital...
http://www.pals.nhs.uk/

A quote from their site - ''It is not surprising that sometimes you or a loved one may feel bewildered or concerned when using the NHS. And this can be at times when you are feeling at your most vulnerable and anxious. So, what should you do if you want on the spot help when using the health service?
The NHS expects all members of staff to listen and respond to you to the best of their ability. But sometimes, you may wish to talk to someone employed especially to help you. The Patient Advice and Liaison Service, known as PALS, has been introduced to ensure that the NHS listens to patients, their relatives, carers and friends, and answers their questions and resolves their concerns as quickly as possible.''
http://www.helptheaged.org.uk/engb/AdviceSupport/HealthAdvice/HealthServices/LeavingHospital/ProblemsWithHospitalDischarge/default.htm
A quote from their site - ''It is also worth talking to hospital staff at this stage so that they are aware of what is going on. This is because the hospital is still responsible for making sure that you will be able to manage when you are discharged, whether or not the social services department is involved.''

http://www.ageconcern.org.uk/AgeConcern/info_guide_8.asp#Hospital_discharge
A quote from their site - ''If the hospital believes you are ready for discharge‚ it is entitled to discharge you. However‚ you should not be sent home until the agreed support is in place – services ready to start‚ adaptations made to your home and equipment delivered. Your carers should be given adequate notice of the date and time of your discharge.
Hospital discharge
All hospitals should be able to provide information on their discharge process. Most importantly‚ you should be told who is responsible. A hospital social worker and possibly a discharge coordination team are likely to be involved.
You are entitled to an assessment to decide what help you may need on leaving hospital‚ regardless of who will be paying for this help.
The key steps are:

• deciding if the NHS should remain responsible for your care
• assessing what help you might need when you leave
• assessing your carer’s needs (if you have one)
• deciding whether intermediate care would help
• drawing up a care plan
• deciding who will be paying for your care
• leaving hospital – practical points
• reviewing your care plan.

Also donny, it is important to know that you can ask to be assessed separately, to see if you are able to support your dad. It is important that you are completely honest with them about your own health issues.

Another quote from this site - ''Assessing your carer’s needs.
Patients and carers may have different needs‚ so as well as contributing (with your permission) to your assessment‚ your carer can ask for a separate assessment. Hospital staff should not take any support from your carer for granted.''

And as much as we don't want to consider it, there may come a time when dad's physical needs are best met in a care home. They aren't all bad or neglectful and it doesn't mean that he automatically loses his dignity or independance.
If I were you, I would write a formal letter explaining your health and situation to your dad's consultant and ask for a copy of it to be put in your dad's records and send a copy to the hospital management. I could try and put together a draft letter over the next few days if you'd like me to.

Regarding yourself...
I'm glad that you've got friends who are supportive to you, hunnie and that you are being cared for by your gp.
How long have you been signed off donny? What benefit are you receiving? Has the doctor given you a long term assessment and plan? Have you been assessed by the mental health team? Do you have a social worker yourself?

If your life is severely affected by your mental ill health over a long period of time and is likely to continue to do so, it may be worth applying for Disability Living Allowance. The CAB will be the ones to take a claim form to, because it is a nightmare to do and CAB help so many people have a successful claim.

Please make sure you keep your own care providers up-to-date. They may be able to support your statement that you're unable to look after your dad. It seems obvious to me that you can't support dad, as much as you would like to be able to do so.

And regarding your living conditions hun, have you thought about putting in for a transfer? Or are you happy where you are? There should be some kind of local charity or community group or a way through DWP or social services to get you a washing machine if you have room and plumming for one. I'll have a scout around the Tiff archives and see what I can dig up.

I know you must be feeling quite overwhelmed angel, but hang in there. There are some wonderful souls on this thread who often pass by and will stop to chat or send a hug.:A
At least you know now that there are things to look at.;) If I have any more thoughts, I'll post them later. I really hope something here has helped to reassure you and given you some idas, donny.
Be kind to yourself.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi bry! Hi guys!
Thanks for the background info sweetheart.:T I haven't forgotten you hunnie.
I hope I'll be back later for you and some other clan members. Got to get some sleep now angel.
Look after yourself, bry.

Be kind to yourself, guys.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Jo_R_2

A quick 'morning' from me, trying to have my 10 mins (LOL) online and switch computer off - partly to save electric and partly to focus myself on DDs and housework!

Got Home Start visitor coming round at 11am for a couple of hours, hopefully she'll be taking DDs to the park and for a walk for an hour so I can have a few mins to myself to have a shower/wash hair/catch up on housework.

My midwife is on call this weekend so said it would be a good time for me to have baby... Trouble is I really don't think it's gonna happen this week - and baby was due on Tuesday so am 3 days over already!

Hope everyone is doing okay as you can be this morning - see you all later! xxx

beachbeth

Sorry to hear of your problems, Donny. Its difficult enough to cope with your own health problems without having someone else's to worry about too. I know he is your dad but don't feel guilty if you can't do as much for him as you think you should. Tiff has some good advice and I do think you need to make it clear to the health professionals that you aren't in a position to take over your dad's care at home.

Please take care of yourself and keep posting when you need to.

absolutebounder

Jo_R wrote: »

A quick 'morning' from me, trying to have my 10 mins (LOL) online and switch computer off - partly to save electric and partly to focus myself on DDs and housework!

Got Home Start visitor coming round at 11am for a couple of hours, hopefully she'll be taking DDs to the park and for a walk for an hour so I can have a few mins to myself to have a shower/wash hair/catch up on housework.

My midwife is on call this weekend so said it would be a good time for me to have baby... Trouble is I really don't think it's gonna happen this week - and baby was due on Tuesday so am 3 days over already!

Hope everyone is doing okay as you can be this morning - see you all later! xxx

Large bottle of castor oil and a shot of Gin should wake baby up into wanting to see what its like outside:rotfl:

Tulip

:hello: Everyone,

Hope all is well,I am fine today,off to the pub later to see friends and have a nice meal

Have a great day,welcome Donny to the thread.


love and light,

Katie xxx

shazrobo

hi all, hope everyone is ok this morning
welcome to the thread donny
my parents are having my boys for2 hours this afternoon, as they know how much i have been struggling, so at least i can go to my craft group this afternoon, and see my friends

hugs all

shaz xxx

alba37

Just checking in to say hi. I've not forgotton about my good friends here, just still having an awful time, and still fighting the NHS for treatment for my son. It's horrible seeing him unwell and no one caring, so haven't been able to think about myself for a while.

Thinking of you all,

A x x x