Depression Support Thread

Tiff_2

Hi guys!
It would seem that quite a few of us are struggling right now - keep posting guys and hang in there. Please don't do anything to hurt yourselves - you'll probably really resent yourself for it later and that'll make you feel even lower.

Anyhoo, I'd like to send a Tiffy to fiftypents (fifty). You're most welcome here angel and thanks for sharing your news angel. It sounds as though you've been following your dr's plan to decrease meds slowly and that it's been successful so far - I'm really happy for you hunnie. Just a little Tiffy caution hun - remember, don't run before you can walk, fifty, and never be afraid to go back to the dr if there are any problems, okay? Keep us posted!

Talking of posting, katie-tulip reminded me of absent friends as well as present ones. Extra hugs, , going to sazzy, gem, shaz, ettie b, alba, fairy, rbk, sf, lm, kl, blues, ccstar, jo, cb2, rose, wvw, janie, danna, fatou, kboo, ctoo, budd, helen,
..........
You know this could take all day! Surely it's time for -

Roll Call!
Huge, moulting Tiffy hugs to - and in no particular order of cuteness! .....

sazzy(sazbo), ethel(ethelbloggs), gario(gario900), elona, bmf, gem(geminilady), ilgd(ilovegreatdanes), blinky, gilly, cb2, flis, karrie, rose, beer, miro, ltd(learnigtodrive), cat (cat9586), ltf(lipsthefish), lrs(letrobinsonsing), bunnie, goldie(importedgold), tank girl, zippy, pc (poppycracker), rbk, skintaz, pj(poppyjay), rain(rain-is-insane), judders, newlywed, cm(carolnmalky), katie(tulip), mac, jackie(the mad bird), fg(feelinggood), sf(slowly fading), qb(queenswayboy), ccstar, kellie, dawny, fantastico, han, queenie, sh(santashelper), juno, spikey, meyore, hayley, ifa, pet(petrichor), vicky, glad, andi, mum(mumoftwins), pinklady, stebiz, tooties, lisa-m, mclaren(mac), tao(tao81), westie(westclok), carpy, pink-b(pink butterlfly), skintc(skintcatt), rovers(roversbabe), lisa-d(lisa-derby), dd2(daisydoughnut2), lewt, hyder, maz(maz123), cham(chameleon), bbbb(bibbitybob), curly(curlywurlygirl), fd(feelingdown), sssssss(s), pumpkin, su(su4stu), hibees, impy, consp(conspirator), maisie(maisiemay), cif, di(dithedancer), child(child359), star, wfs(whitefeatherspirit), katp, bizzybeks(beks), pills, cnmm (conandmattsmum), bltn(betterlatethannever), charlene, vb(velocityboy), sp(smallpackages), gill, lisa-ew(elegantly wasted), welsh(welsh worrier), lass(loopy lass - I can't call you loopy angel!), chelly(chellysays), bobsa, shelby(shelby161), john roberts(john-r), juliav, antronella, steph, new cook, catsavingexpert(cse), shaz, lfh(looking for help), tdmmdi(the devil made me do it), gillh(gillianh2), wmf(weymuffred), lou(loublue), suki(suki1964), toothsmith(ts), katyk, bay(bailey), ree(reehsetin), jen(jen.eng), specialk, li(limana68), shelley (fallen angel shelly), shawz, tom(tomstickland), horace, purplegirluk(purple), miss tbc(tbc), ecoelle, nicifer(nic), diamond78(diamond), grace, wo*f, weegie, gill07, ig-board(bigb), moonrakermagpie(magpie), karen23(karen), deals, pug(pug-in-a-bed ), mumh(mumhug), nats3006(nats), tote alley stressed(tote), littleone83(lo83), piggeh, lexa34(lexa), iom(iom-rf), hooters, wanty(iwanttosave), hev, haribo(haribo-junkie), quasar, ws100(windowshopper-100), turkishd(turkishdelight), nopot(nopot2pin), week, littlemissmoney (missy), lady morticia(anni), oompah, chocomum(choco), skollieal(skoll), truthseeker(truth), week, angellotz (lotz), beachbeth(beth), whitevanwoman(wvw), cat64, redruby(red), setmefree2(set), rainbow child(rainbow), marru, cazac71(caz), chr_is(chris), philnicandamy(phil), back2square1(back2), earth, ab, aknot, debbiemids72(debs), before hollywood (holly), lita, pricey147(pricey), jinky67(jinky), pipkin71(pip), benthosboy(martyn), ellerose(elle), skintchick(skinty), pandora, n71, quid-itch(itchy), wannabe sybil(sybil), vmf199(vmf), ninnins(ninns), fairydawn(fairy), high-rise andrew(andrew), learner2001(learner), tangled memories(tangy), kman2001(kman), alleycat (alley), hazeyjewel(hazey), thinkginge(ginge), carmen, fedupnow (feddy), tibbie's mum(tibs), ceejayblue(cjb), drifter34 (drifter), brightonman123 (bm123), top-drawer(jen), maverick(mav), 10past6(10), tattyrabbit(tattyr), shazza40(sh40), runwin(win), rizel, jayleighann(jay), moggycat(moggy), septemberblues(blues), tyler, night-owl(owl), alba37(alba), pinkprincess(suz), petunia100(pet), alhggyb(alh), mrs.pepperpot(pepper), kentishlady(kl), lan, unixgirluk(unix), cardifforthefacup(cardiff), irt1959(irt), steph123(steph1), curled, sara501(sara), katiejones (katiej), titch89 (titch), blue sea(sea), soubrette(sou), gingernuts(ginger), a little stressed(als), rebekahr(rr), susie b(susie), astonsmummy(am), claire1234(claire), piglet29(piglet), white cat(wc), completely lost(lost), good life(lifey), amber sunshine(amber), dippychick(chick), laulipopsi(popsi) and midnightblue(blue), robin1234(rob), budget budd(budd), frames1uk(frames), maytaurus(may), merlot, littlepinkmarshmallow(pink), angel delight(ad), timcrips(tim), whysohard(wsh), ed, tarry, cerisa, girl racer(gr), sweet pea(sp), mighty men(mm), chardonnay(charl), elmostreet(kati), arne, tattoo bum(tb), liz fogg(liz), little pickle(lp), wpc, pinkbubblegum(pbg), 98jdougl(98jd), littlemissaspie(aspie), hippychick(hc), atomised(atoms), jackieb(jackie), johnny doe(jd), scouserwench(wench), drinkupretty(dup), waldokitty(waldo), crazykittylady(ckl/nicola), jack*, sylvester(syl), izzoh, lisaloo1977(lisa), moneysavingmonkey85(msm/helen), rugged toast(toast), pillypilla(pilla), notsosharp(em), mandi, doelani(lani), pink swirl(pink), la-cara(cara), savvy_sue(savvy), voofin(voofy), teapartymum(tpm), owens3116(owens), rosepink1986(rosep), jax66(jax), shaven-monkey(monkey), kitty boo(kboo), chardanna(danna), marleyboy(marley), janie63(janie), mezer3000(bry), cantthinkofone(ctoo), fatou256(fatou), pollsdolls (polls), mely, eselt, little tinker(tinker), bennifred(benni), fran, wxmlad, foreign correspondent(fc), got2change(got2), skint, single mum of 4(ssm4), grannyc (gc), mrs tine(mrst), uktigerlily(lily), swampmonster(swampy), rugbymum(rm), npsmama(nps), kiwifruit(kiwi), cazziebo(caz), whitty999 (whitty), lolababy(lola), listerofsmeg(lister), busybody(busy), racyred(racy), grunny, jellymid(jelly), leothecat(leo), minxybella(bella), rocky4, hearts, hethmar, crap-with-money.com(cwm), maryotaum(mary), pixiepuff(pixie), fiftypents (fifty) - et al.

Cor blimey, there's a lot of us, isn't there? I don't know how we all manage to fit in here together!:eek: I know times are hard, and it's a bit of a squeeze, but the cat basket stays out of bounds - right guys?!

I feel I'm very out of sync atm - don't know why. Very odd - well, odder for me anyway. Tired Tiffster today. Been multi-tasking again.:rolleyes:

Right folks, I hope everyone has a better day today.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi guys!
Hoping this will bring someone a smile today...

Eternal Truths by Women.

1. Once over the hill, you pick up speed.

2. I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food.

3. If it weren't for STRESS I'd have no energy at all.
4. Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
5. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
6. I know God won't give me more than I can handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much.
7. Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.
8. If the shoe fits ... buy it in every color.
9. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.
10. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
11. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
12. Bills travel through the post at twice the speed of cheques.
13. Some days are a total waste of makeup.
14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
15. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
16. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
17. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
18. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
19. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
20. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
21. Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself.

Now be honest - how many of you can relate to this?! Somehow, it almost makes the world seem logical.
Safe journeys, guys.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Sssssss

thanks tiff you are one amazing person (or are you really a cat?) anyways your posts always cheer me up and god knows how you do it, remember all those names etc.

I slept in till 10h30 today and maybe be that's why I'm now feeling crap. Lucky I don't start work till 14h30 but then have to be there till 8pm. I'm just keeping the thought of 8.30pm in my head, that's when I'll be home, if not I feel I might just give up on the job, which would be real stupid seeing as it took me a loooong time to get this job.

rosepink1984

What job do you have Ssssss, if you don't mind me asking?

Thanks Tiff for your posts, must take you ages to write them!

Hi Katie, I'm not too bad today. Am struggling a bit to stay cheerful, am very tired, but am seeing my family tomorrow so looking forward to that. Have been working really hard to get my flat cleaner and tidier and can see the results today. It's looking much better tho needs more work! How are you doing today?
Hope those with kids off are coping today, it sounds like it must be hard to cope when they want your attention and you just want to be left alone. Big hugs to you

mezer3000

Hey tiff

thanks for your post - i guess with me not having properly doing an introduction about whats going on and everything, and just posting little snippets, i haven't really given the full details of what is going on.

So.....where to start hahaha :rotfl:

So uni.....
I'm 20, 21 in a couple of months - scary haha - took a gap year because I really wasnt sure what to do at uni, ended up at this uni doing this course. Which was fine, loved the course in the first year. But then last new years, so at the start of my second term in the first year, i got really ill. Ended up having gladular fever (found this out 6 months afterwards ) and recurring tonsillitis, missed most of the second term. Scraped through the exams in my first year....had a good summer... had my tonsils out, passed driving test :T....and then came second year. Which was rubbish. Having missed so much due to being ill in my first year, it just went all screwy, i didnt know what i was doing and got myself in a great big muddle....and combined with other things....downhill i went. Ended up being put in for emergency counselling and meds....will come to this later....and suspended my course, just because it was going so badly.

So i'm now sitting merrily at home - trying to get "better" - ie bored out of my brain and alone all day :rolleyes:. The big issue for me at the moment, is do I want to continue my degree course...if so do i want to do it at this uni....if so am i going to have caught up in time.....will i have got "better" enough for them to let me back if i want to. Then its a case of, ok if i do want to come back, where am i going to live, or if i dont want to come back, where am i going to live, what else am i going to do, where am i going to work etc etc etc:huh:

so multiple deadlines approaching at once - uni, housing etc etc

so thats the course side

meds and counselling wise.......well i started on meds, its the second time i've had them, decided to stop them because i felt like i was never going to know if it was me under there....thats all that needs to be said, and i dont want anyone to get in trouble by commenting on that bit.
counselling - have got the top counsellor at the uni - absolutely lovely lady, understands me without me even explaining some stuff. The problem being, i have an issue with letting people in...again see later....so there's stuff that i dont tell her, stuff i know i should tell her, but im not comfortable yet so im holding back for a bit....well ok its been quite a while, but am working on the superficial stuff first.:cool:


Then there's the bf.....been with him two years almost. We met before uni in 2007, on a day that I had organised for people coming to this uni to meet each other, we hit it off, it went from there. we were in separate halls in the first year, but spent most of our time together, meaning we never really made friends outside of the relationship - so that explains the -"i have absolutely no friends here" issue.
He kindly told me on xmas eve of 2007, that back in the first few weeks of our relationship, he had got drunk and slept with his ex.:mad: Not so great heh. I had massive trust issues from previous relationship, so had never fully trusted him, and had asked a few weeks beforehand if he had ever cheated on me - to which he replied "look me in the eyes and believe me, i never have and never will cheat on you". So blah, basically he had kept the fact that he had cheated on me from me for 6 months and lied about it to my face.
On top of that, he had lied previously, saying he was going shopping with his mates in milton keynes, when actually he went and spent the day with a girl in oxford. he called me up that night and explained what had happened, that basically she was coming to the same uni, he just wanted to make friends and he didnt want me worrying all day about what he was up to yaddayaddayadda
And then in november last year, he kissed some other girl, because we had had an argument that day, and I had gone back to my parents, he thought we had split up went out to drown sorrows etc - then when i asked about if anything had happened, he again said no (lying) and told me the truth 3 days later (better than 6 months later lol)
so - now the trust issues i have are massive, i question him about everything and dont even trust him for 5 mins on his own - makes things difficult when he has to go to lectures.:o

next....where i live....
so i live with my bf, and two guys we met in halls. I dont really get on with these guys - well thats an understatement, they annoy the hell out of me. I have my own bedroom, so thats not such a big issue. but yes my housemates do isolate themselves from me and not the otherway around eg i was in the front room the other night, and they decided to go and eat in one of the bedrooms instead of sit with me :eek:- lovely heh

work....
now i work 6 hours a week for Orange, selling phones. had the job for 4 years, transferred up here when i came to uni etc love the job in every other store, but hate it in the store i am in now
now i have no uni anymore, i would like to work more, as im not getting student loan, so only have 6 hours a week worth of wages coming in (£180 a month, rent is £255 a month + bills + food etc = big money problem)
boss has a vendetta against me, and point blank refused to give me any more hours even though i just end up crying when im at work, cos i cant afford to buy lunch when im there etc

drinking.....
well i drink to pass out - thats the honest truth - because if im asleep im not worrying about what the bf is up to, or my own worries, and the time where im sitting alone passes a hell of a lot quicker. Plus i tend to turn into a bit of a fairy when drunk, so life seems much funnier and happier.:rotfl:
but im not drinking and taking meds - so that doesnt need to be worried about

me in general.....
well still suffering health wise, obviously depression doesnt help. had my braces of recently after 3 years - biggest dissapointment ever - they look worse than when i started, wish i had never had them done. I have to attend physio every week, because i have major physical problems, and am backwards and forwards to the hospital for various things....so yeah blah...not great there
i have no friends where i am - i have a select few at home, that are really great, but cant afford to get there because of the no money issues, so am really isolated.
i am part of the uni scuba diving club, but cant take part because of no money - all the clubs cost to join, so cant join any more

so at the moment im a big mushy mess or boyfriend issues, med issues, counselling issues, what the hell do I do with my life issues, money and work issues, housing issues, no friend issues, and general boredom issues - and most of the time its just all too much

so...yeah ....im really sorry this is such a long and rambly post, i just had to get it all out in one go, otherwise i wouldnt have bothered. thats a brief summary of my past two years haha
i'm a mess

absolutebounder

mezer3000 wrote: »

Hey tiff

thanks for your post - i guess with me not having properly doing an introduction about whats going on and everything, and just posting little snippets, i haven't really given the full details of what is going on.

So.....where to start hahaha :rotfl:

So uni.....
I'm 20, 21 in a couple of months - scary haha - took a gap year because I really wasnt sure what to do at uni, ended up at this uni doing this course. Which was fine, loved the course in the first year. But then last new years, so at the start of my second term in the first year, i got really ill. Ended up having gladular fever (found this out 6 months afterwards ) and recurring tonsillitis, missed most of the second term. Scraped through the exams in my first year....had a good summer... had my tonsils out, passed driving test :T....and then came second year. Which was rubbish. Having missed so much due to being ill in my first year, it just went all screwy, i didnt know what i was doing and got myself in a great big muddle....and combined with other things....downhill i went. Ended up being put in for emergency counselling and meds....will come to this later....and suspended my course, just because it was going so badly.

So i'm now sitting merrily at home - trying to get "better" - ie bored out of my brain and alone all day :rolleyes:. The big issue for me at the moment, is do I want to continue my degree course...if so do i want to do it at this uni....if so am i going to have caught up in time.....will i have got "better" enough for them to let me back if i want to. Then its a case of, ok if i do want to come back, where am i going to live, or if i dont want to come back, where am i going to live, what else am i going to do, where am i going to work etc etc etc:huh:

so multiple deadlines approaching at once - uni, housing etc etc

so thats the course side

meds and counselling wise.......well i started on meds, its the second time i've had them, decided to stop them because i felt like i was never going to know if it was me under there....thats all that needs to be said, and i dont want anyone to get in trouble by commenting on that bit.
counselling - have got the top counsellor at the uni - absolutely lovely lady, understands me without me even explaining some stuff. The problem being, i have an issue with letting people in...again see later....so there's stuff that i dont tell her, stuff i know i should tell her, but im not comfortable yet so im holding back for a bit....well ok its been quite a while, but am working on the superficial stuff first.:cool:


Then there's the bf.....been with him two years almost. We met before uni in 2007, on a day that I had organised for people coming to this uni to meet each other, we hit it off, it went from there. we were in separate halls in the first year, but spent most of our time together, meaning we never really made friends outside of the relationship - so that explains the -"i have absolutely no friends here" issue.
He kindly told me on xmas eve of 2007, that back in the first few weeks of our relationship, he had got drunk and slept with his ex.:mad: Not so great heh. I had massive trust issues from previous relationship, so had never fully trusted him, and had asked a few weeks beforehand if he had ever cheated on me - to which he replied "look me in the eyes and believe me, i never have and never will cheat on you". So blah, basically he had kept the fact that he had cheated on me from me for 6 months and lied about it to my face.
On top of that, he had lied previously, saying he was going shopping with his mates in milton keynes, when actually he went and spent the day with a girl in oxford. he called me up that night and explained what had happened, that basically she was coming to the same uni, he just wanted to make friends and he didnt want me worrying all day about what he was up to yaddayaddayadda
And then in november last year, he kissed some other girl, because we had had an argument that day, and I had gone back to my parents, he thought we had split up went out to drown sorrows etc - then when i asked about if anything had happened, he again said no (lying) and told me the truth 3 days later (better than 6 months later lol)
so - now the trust issues i have are massive, i question him about everything and dont even trust him for 5 mins on his own - makes things difficult when he has to go to lectures.:o

next....where i live....
so i live with my bf, and two guys we met in halls. I dont really get on with these guys - well thats an understatement, they annoy the hell out of me. I have my own bedroom, so thats not such a big issue. but yes my housemates do isolate themselves from me and not the otherway around eg i was in the front room the other night, and they decided to go and eat in one of the bedrooms instead of sit with me :eek:- lovely heh

work....
now i work 6 hours a week for Orange, selling phones. had the job for 4 years, transferred up here when i came to uni etc love the job in every other store, but hate it in the store i am in now
now i have no uni anymore, i would like to work more, as im not getting student loan, so only have 6 hours a week worth of wages coming in (£180 a month, rent is £255 a month + bills + food etc = big money problem)
boss has a vendetta against me, and point blank refused to give me any more hours even though i just end up crying when im at work, cos i cant afford to buy lunch when im there etc

drinking.....
well i drink to pass out - thats the honest truth - because if im asleep im not worrying about what the bf is up to, or my own worries, and the time where im sitting alone passes a hell of a lot quicker. Plus i tend to turn into a bit of a fairy when drunk, so life seems much funnier and happier.:rotfl:
but im not drinking and taking meds - so that doesnt need to be worried about

me in general.....
well still suffering health wise, obviously depression doesnt help. had my braces of recently after 3 years - biggest dissapointment ever - they look worse than when i started, wish i had never had them done. I have to attend physio every week, because i have major physical problems, and am backwards and forwards to the hospital for various things....so yeah blah...not great there
i have no friends where i am - i have a select few at home, that are really great, but cant afford to get there because of the no money issues, so am really isolated.
i am part of the uni scuba diving club, but cant take part because of no money - all the clubs cost to join, so cant join any more

so at the moment im a big mushy mess or boyfriend issues, med issues, counselling issues, what the hell do I do with my life issues, money and work issues, housing issues, no friend issues, and general boredom issues - and most of the time its just all too much

so...yeah ....im really sorry this is such a long and rambly post, i just had to get it all out in one go, otherwise i wouldnt have bothered. thats a brief summary of my past two years haha
i'm a mess

I think if you got a new BF and a new job your troubles would largely be over.
With your boss why not call him over at the end of the shift and demand to see him in his office and then ask him what his problem is. It takes guts but it sure beats being trodden on.

mezer3000

absolutebounder wrote: »

I think if you got a new BF and a new job your troubles would largely be over.
With your boss why not call him over at the end of the shift and demand to see him in his office and then ask him what his problem is. It takes guts but it sure beats being trodden on.

Getting a new bf isnt that easy, and i dont think confronting my boss and losing my job is the best way to go.

absolutebounder

mezer3000 wrote: »

Getting a new bf isnt that easy, and i dont think confronting my boss and losing my job is the best way to go.

Im not sure I would agree on the BF front plus that is not really a very good argument if he is causing a lot of stress. likewise there is no point in having a job which makes you ill. Often people are scared to tackle a boss but s when you do do it quite often catches them off guard and they end up respecting you.

You only live once so which do you want a sad life or a happy life? depression is so attached to environment so change that and you change your life.

mezer3000

absolutebounder wrote: »

Im not sure I would agree on the BF front plus that is not really a very good argument if he is causing a lot of stress. likewise there is no point in having a job which makes you ill. Often people are scared to tackle a boss but s when you do do it quite often catches them off guard and they end up respecting you.

You only live once so which do you want a sad life or a happy life? depression is so attached to environment so change that and you change your life.

im sorry but you clearly haven't understood my situation, so please do not offer any more advice

shazrobo

been a long day today, but got through it, and kids now in bed, time for a drink, to wind down and relax :beer:

didnt get dressed til almost dinner time today, as i was too scared to go upstairs, cos the desire to cut was so strong, and i knew once in the bathroom, all willpower would have gone, luckily we have a downstairs loo too lol
took kids to pub for dinner, as i was not up to cooking, and for tea tonight we just had jacket spuds, with bought tuna mayo, sounds lazy, and i have never bought the stuff before, but when feeling so tired, desperate etc, easy foods are a godsend.
hopefully tommorrow will be a better day

how did your day go jo_r, hope you managed to grab some time for your self

mezer, if you cannot trust your bf, then i would think you would be happier long term without him, and find someone who treats you better

hugs all

shaz xxx