Depression Support Thread

rosepink1984

Thanks Sssssss and Beachbeth for your kind words. I have a book by Dr Weeks, it is very helpful. I ought to dig it out again. I got it when I first got diagnosed with agoraphobia and was having a panic attack every time I left the house.
I eventually got back to bed at 1:30. Didn't have any nightmares so that is a huge result. I didn't want to sleep as I was afraid of having bad dreams - I always get them at times of stress.
Overslept this morning, so my plan of going early went out the window, but I got a parking space straight away, only about 200 yards from the bank! Put in a big cheque that arrived in this mornings post, and the smaller cheque that I was going there to put in (so good I didn't go before the post came! :rotfl: ). Then I went shopping. They had most of what I wanted and the lady on the checkout was really nice. I was going to pay with tons of change as we have a cash flow problem and I'd raided my "loose change pays my debt" pot. She said it was fine to pay with change, but why not use my nectar points? Turns out I have zillions! :j So I only had to pay £1.30 for £13.30 of shopping and I have lots more points to use up! Wow!!
That was good.
I felt really shaky and thought I was going to faint the whole time I was out. I was so relieved to get back to the car. I got home, and was still shaky for ages and completely worn out. Have been doing some housework and had a big nap. Had a cry when DH got home - he is normally quite good, but this time he just sat there eating his dinner and watching me! I had a bath just now, so feel more relaxed and very sleepy!
I think I've been struggling more mentally recently because I've been ill for about a month with a virus and now a cold. Hoping that if I get some rest (have hte whole week off work for this purpose) things will improve.
Hope everyone is ok, going to watch TV and then go to bed early. Night night

Sazbo

Tulip wrote: »

I dont smartie Snaffle,I only do it when Saz is around?

:whistle:

Sx

Tulip

Sazbo wrote: »

:whistle:

Sx

Katie

Tulip

I will chat to you all tomorrow

Night! Night!


love and light,

Katie xxx

Horasio

beachbeth wrote: »

You're not a drag. Thats what this thread is for. Offload as much as you want. Sounds as though you could do without your OH as well as your mother. Who needs people like this is their life? I find my own mother difficult a lot of the time but she does try not to upset me. Is it possible for you to either leave or have your OH leave? It doesn't sound as though you are doing each other much good. Sorry if Im speaking out of turn. I just wish I could be of more help.

Thank you

You are not talking out of turn and thank you for your honesty.

I have been confused for years about his level of care for me. He claims he loves me but whenever I feel ill and not so sweet because of it, he sees it as an excuse to shout very cutting and nasty things at me and blames me for it all going wrong.

I don't get his logic as if you care for someone, you wouldn't shout at them normally, leave alone when they are ill and it doesn't solve anything shouting at a person who isn't at their normal level of reasonableness. It is kicking someone who is down and it has upset and confused me for years. I feel nervous in my own home, as he creates a very uncomfortable atmosphere, one where I feel wary of my mood in case he shouts or rants or cries.

I dealt with my illness as it was bad and knew I had problems with my illness. It took some doing as getting a doctor to take me seriously was hard work and had some awful damaging medication on the way!

As you rightly say, my mother cannot be trusted. She is needing a part time person to ferry her and my frail step dad which I am willing to do but it is hard physically to lift my step dad, so my OH tends to do the heavier stuff. I tend to get the be the entertainer and person to talk to which is fine and I can do that if I am not being undermined when happy and got at when I am at my lowest ebb.

I feel very alone and this forum is a godsend. I wish I had had more places to talk many years ago.

LadyMorticia

Aw. Nice to know I've been missed. :A

In all honesty, I feel hideous. I had a very sore throat for about a week and general fatigue etc so went to the doctor, who suspected glandular fever and then decided that it was actually most likely tonsillitis. :rolleyes: I don't want a "most likely".:rotfl: I want to know for sure so that I can tackle it and then be back to my usual self.
These Strepsils are doing !!!!!! all, and it's so painful to swallow that I want to cry from the pain. :rolleyes: I haven't had tonsillitis this bad in years. If the antibiotics don't clear it,then I think we are looking at glandular fever, according to the doctor. Apparently, glandular fever can mimic tonsillitis.
Anyyyyyyyyway, I hope this isn't crossing that virtual medical line.

Oooo and to those who PMd me about the thing I needed advice with. Thank you. Tis all sorted.

xx

Horasio

rosepink1984 wrote: »

Hi CCstar, sorry to hear things are so rough for you at the mo. I read a great quote today: "Women are like teabags. We don't know our true strength until we're in hot water." - Eleanor Roosevelt
I thought it was quite encouraging. Hope things work out for you what ever you decide to do.
I have a terrible cold too, and had to go shopping and banking earlier. It was tons harder than normal. Things are definately harder to deal with when you feel poorly. Hope you are soon on the mend and things seem a bit brighter for you
Hello to everyone else, hope your day is going well :hello:

It is a really nasty cold.

I have found everyday chores to be really challenging too, then to have a person make life uncomfortable and unpleasant on top in my home, so I can't relax, it has really sent me into a depression as well.

Horasio

LadyMorticia wrote: »

Aw. Nice to know I've been missed. :A

In all honesty, I feel hideous. I had a very sore throat for about a week and general fatigue etc so went to the doctor, who suspected glandular fever and then decided that it was actually most likely tonsillitis. :rolleyes: I don't want a "most likely".:rotfl: I want to know for sure so that I can tackle it and then be back to my usual self.
These Strepsils are doing !!!!!! all, and it's so painful to swallow that I want to cry from the pain. :rolleyes: I haven't had tonsillitis this bad in years. If the antibiotics don't clear it,then I think we are looking at glandular fever, according to the doctor. Apparently, glandular fever can mimic tonsillitis.
Anyyyyyyyyway, I hope this isn't crossing that virtual medical line.

Oooo and to those who PMd me about the thing I needed advice with. Thank you. Tis all sorted.

xx

Hi

Hope the move went well

Sorry to hear about your throat, I guess the moving and new environment might have triggered it. Even nice things can lower resistance. You have new germs to get used to in your part of the world. I got loads of colds last year after spending years in Scotland and had relatively fewer.

maytaurus

CCStar Re

CCStar wrote: »

I feel so ill just now.
‘’He says vicious and nasty things
The adrenaline pumps and it makes me feel tireder on top of feeling the original tiredness or illness, so more upset able and so it goes.
I have had enough of the emotional turmoil in my home.
vile mind games,being nasty when I am ill or tired or being a miserable sod when I am happy
27 years of his brand of hell is enough
finding it hard coping with the negative forces my OH brings to our lives,
scared around him, I feel depleted
They seem to like bringing you down
He claims he loves me but ......
I don't get his logic ( The love they withhold, is the pain they carry .. )
upset and confused me for years. I feel nervous in my own home, as he creates a very uncomfortable atmosphere, he sits there like a wet weekend,
getting a doctor to take me seriously was hard work
being undermined when happy and got at when I am at my lowest ebb.
to have a person make life uncomfortable and unpleasant on top in my home, so I can't relax,
I give it back, then a vicious row follows’’ (I have learnt to say nothing and just try to keep going, but it is soul destroying)

Unfortunately I recognise all of the above
I used to keep busy and spend a lot of time out of the house and when I was at home loved doing D-I-Y, now I can’t even clean up like I used to
I loved riding and spent a lot of time with the horses
I enjoyed spending time with friends & family & getting out & about & travelling
I now have M.E.
So I am in the house nearly 100%of the time
My lovely mum has Alzheimer’s & I wish I could find a way to get my get up & go back, (but it’s got up & gone)
Trying to deal with my illness as well as everything else & fighting with the benefits agency for 18 months trying to get DLA has left me feeling completely worn out & useless.
I try to keep positive and have got back into knitting etc for charity, as at least it’s something I can still do a bit of each day & it’s helping someone else
I just try to keep doing what I can & telling myself I will get better
I am an empath so I always try to give people the benefit of the doubt, just in case there's a good reason why they are acting like a total ****!!
I just wanted to remind you.... that you know that there are genuine caring people, that you do matter it’s just hard to remember it sometimes when we look around us & at the way things are in the world
I think about the wonders of our planet, the nature, the animals etc
the beautiful places I have been lucky enough to see
the great love & friendship I have been lucky enough to have in my life
& that it is difficult to value the indifferences of others
but we can seek to find something in each day to empower us.
This is for all of us
Each Dark cloud has a silver lining ..... we just have to keep looking for it !



Believe in yourself
"The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths.
These persons have an appreciation, sensitivity and an understanding of life that fills them with compassions, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen." - Elisabeth Kubler Ross.

“May all beings everywhere plagued with sufferings of body and mind quickly be freed from their pain. May those frightened cease to be afraid, and may those bound, be free.
May the powerless find power, and may people befriend all life.
May those of all species who find themselves lost... the young, the aged, the unprotected... be guarded by beneficent celestials, and may they swiftly attain Buddhahood.”—Buddhist Prayer

Horasio

Hi

And thank you for your caring replies.

The cold is really streaming and my OH has gone out on business, so can relax.

It is the first time I have felt I can leave. Our son is 21, in his own home and working. We have the money from our house sale, so no home to sell. We are being evicted soon as the landlord wants to knock the place down - it is in good condition, so it is sad it's been granted:(

I have just left a reply on a thread about a 19 year old woman who feels in a rut and has hormone troubles. She sounds like I did. I really wanted to leave the marriage but didn't have the money.

I now have the money but now feel my age is against me. I have a lot of life skills, perhaps not as much as the average 44 year old as I couldn't go out to work after my son was born, plus we had a lot of money and wanted to be a SAHM because my parents HAD to work in their business and had little time for me. I don't have siblings and couldn't keep friends due to moving around so much.

I am waiting for the results of my DEXA scan, so I'm either OK or have osteoporosis. A sign of aging:(

Does anyone have any suggestions about how to start again at 44 after being out of the workplace/social scene for so long?