Depression Support Thread

Sssssss

CCStar wrote: »

I find it fairly easy to control my emotions these days, it is what the idiots throw at me/us that gets to me. I want them to effing well leave me alone or up their standards, I want to be invisible so I can move forward with my life, rather than have to deal with all the useless people.

Does anyone find that there are far more people out there these days who can't do their job properly, yet there is high unemployment? Why are all the useless people in work, yet people with intelligence seem to be unemployed? And don't get me started on Indian Call Centres - that was when the rot set in.

When I was growing up, the standards were so blooming high. No off days or mistakes were allowed, so I learned to up my standards.

These days, so much slapdash goes on and mistakes we have to spend ages sorting out due to the amount of idiots we have to deal with. Of course, we still get it in the neck if we mess up, yet have to accept the rubbish out there:(

Hi, I agree with you that standards have gone down and as you say unemployment is very high. This means that companies can pick and choose, they take on staff for very little wages and little or no training. If staff dare to complain it's well you know where the door is. The problem is with senior management who still get thier bonuses even if they f up. So next time you have a problem please don't take it out on the call center staff they also are human like you and me and imagine how upset you feel when someone puts you down regardless of nationality. Better you put pen to paper and send your concerns to the MD, CEO, Chairman etc. which is the only way we'll ever get companies to change thier ways.

rosepink1984

beachbeth wrote: »

I agree CCStar. I was put through to an Indian call centre once and the lady had such a thick accent I could hardly understand what she was saying. She asked for my "date of birth" but the way she said it, it sounded completely different! After she repeated it a couple of times I said "Do you mean my birthday?" and she said "No, your date of birth!"

Ive got to go to the jobcentre tomorrow to sign on for my Jobseekers Allowance. They know Im not looking for a job but are encouraging me to pretend basically. However, I haven't signed on before and don't know what to expect. Has anyone had experience of this? Do they grill you and get annoyed if you haven't been for interviews? I was just going to tell them I was looking in the paper and on the internet so far. This is such a load of rubbish that I have to do this whilst Im waiting for my IB tribunal. Im going to get quite upset when I go tomorrow - I just hope I don't burst into tears.

I was on Jobseekers while waiting to start a job I already had. I'd been to the interview and got the job, but there was a delay of five months before I could start, as they had to do lots of checks and health checks and stuff. Even tho the JCP knew I HAD a job, they still wanted me to look for a job! So I just told them I'd been looking in the paper/internet/JCP. They want you to write down what you've been doing, I never did I just told them verbally and this was fine altho one lady was quite strict and moody. Most people were nice when I went to sign on.
Hope this helps hun, it's not nice having to go there, but think of the money and grit your teeth. Usually it takes about 10 mins as you always have to wait a few mins, I think the longest I was in there was about half an hour. The actual signing on bit is only a couple of mins.

Tulip

:hello: Everyone,

I have had a good day.didnt get to the pub as Karioke was cancelled,they had rang to let me know but I was already on the way there.I went to another place instead and still had a bit of karioke so wasnt too bad.

I am watching one of my films later on


love and light,

Katie xxx

Horasio

Sssssss wrote: »

Hi, I agree with you that standards have gone down and as you say unemployment is very high. This means that companies can pick and choose, they take on staff for very little wages and little or no training. If staff dare to complain it's well you know where the door is. The problem is with senior management who still get thier bonuses even if they f up. So next time you have a problem please don't take it out on the call center staff they also are human like you and me and imagine how upset you feel when someone puts you down regardless of nationality. Better you put pen to paper and send your concerns to the MD, CEO, Chairman etc. which is the only way we'll ever get companies to change thier ways.

Good idea. I am pretty patient with call centre people but when we are being driven crazy with their lies (we are doing it, then nothing happens) it is hard to stay sane.

rosepink1984

Went to bed. Have got up again as I'm in the biggest panic.
Normally when I get into bed I mentally review what I have to do tomorrow so that when I get up I have a plan in mind - what needs to be done before I go out, what time I need to get up, how I'm going to get where I'm going, what I need to take, what I will wear etc.
Tonight I'm panicing so much about tomorrow that I've got up again. There is no way I can sleep like this. I have to go to the bank and go food shopping for three things. It's pathetic. I thought my agoraphobia was more or less gone. Yeah right. My brain is popping with panic, like having rice krispies in it. And my chest is tight (its ok checked this with the doc its normal) and I feel frozen with fear and can't stop thinking about it. I have to drive 10 miles to the town, find somewhere to park (no mean feat as there are only a handful of spaces near enough for me to get to the bank without freakng out), walk to the bank, the shop is right next door and is quite small so that's ok, and get back to the car. What's the worst that can happen? My rational brain tells me its fine, but my panic is out of control.
Am going to try to distract myself and then try to get some sleep.

Sssssss

rosepink1984 wrote: »

Went to bed. Have got up again as I'm in the biggest panic.
Normally when I get into bed I mentally review what I have to do tomorrow so that when I get up I have a plan in mind - what needs to be done before I go out, what time I need to get up, how I'm going to get where I'm going, what I need to take, what I will wear etc.
Tonight I'm panicing so much about tomorrow that I've got up again. There is no way I can sleep like this. I have to go to the bank and go food shopping for three things. It's pathetic. I thought my agoraphobia was more or less gone. Yeah right. My brain is popping with panic, like having rice krispies in it. And my chest is tight (its ok checked this with the doc its normal) and I feel frozen with fear and can't stop thinking about it. I have to drive 10 miles to the town, find somewhere to park (no mean feat as there are only a handful of spaces near enough for me to get to the bank without freakng out), walk to the bank, the shop is right next door and is quite small so that's ok, and get back to the car. What's the worst that can happen? My rational brain tells me its fine, but my panic is out of control.
Am going to try to distract myself and then try to get some sleep.

Hi rosepink hope you managed some sleep in the end and feel ready to cope with the day ahead. Your post about 'tight chest' reminded me of when this happened to me and I was so sure I was having a heart attack but the doctor assured me it was quite normal to feel this way, however he did send me off to see a specialist and i did one of those effort tests, all clear

I'm glad I'm not the only one that worries about parking, it's silly really when you think about it, what's the worst that can happen , you just have to go around a few times and think of it this way you're safely in your car all the time, but I do sympathise.

I'm off to see my doc today for my 3 month review, on the positive side I can tell him I've now started work, but the karate thing is still bothering me and I'm hoping he'll be able to just put some words together to help me see in the great scheme of life it's no big deal really.

Have a great day everyone. Sssssss.

Tiff_2

Hi guys!
Morning everyone. Me again. I'm not quite alone this morning though: I see may's got her little light on - although by the time I post this I bet she'll be gone again...
Morning may hunnie - I hope you're not doing too badly with your pain angel. It's nice to see you and thank you for your lovely graphics and also for the links you posted.

And of course, I must send a warm Tiffy to maryotaum (mary) and pixiepuff (pixie). Welcome to the thread guys and well done on making your first posts. I hope you get all the support and information you need from the lovely people here. I know there are so many lurkers out there who stop by and read the thread and everyone of you is guaranteed a warm welcome, so please don't feel afraid or too shy to post. Regardless, it's nice to think that you come here and lurk anyway and are hopefully benefitting from the reources and support in some way.

Yes, DS is home. He left yesterday lunchtime to meet up with his father and stayed over with them last night. He probably won't get dropped off until tonight. He looks great - starting to look very fashionable, although he's always taken care with his appearance. He had a great birthday in London. One of his co-students got his and a few friends' names put on the VIP list at one of the nightclubs Friday night as her present, no less! ( I can't even make the VIP list at Asda!) Then on his birthday, they had a joint birthday/Valentine's party at the house and one of the girls made him a chocolate birthday cake in the shape of a heart. He looks really well and you can see his muscles from all his dance work. He's apparently eating loads but is burning it off quickly and is finding it hard to put weight on; he even had the nerve to tell me that he's now got a 28'' waist - so did I when I was ten!:D - it was all of 31 inches before!!!

Tiffbits...
sazzy - good luck with your counselling tonight angel. I'm thinking of you as always and hope that you and badgie are both well. Keep us posted about your adventures. Be good hunnie.

ettie b - where are you hunnie? How's things with you and the family? I've kept you in my thoughts hun and I'll be in touch soon. Look after yourself sweetie.

gem - and where are you at angel? The thread's missing your lovely posts. I hope everything's okay angel - it's not like you to be so quiet - and that it's just a case of you being busy. Thinking of you, sweetheart.

lm - hey hun, how's it going? Are you settling in well angel? I hope you're well and are being spoiled rotten - you deserve it! Take care and good luck hunnie.

katie-tulip - just want to say hello angel and that I hope you're well. You're a lovely lass - apart from the smartie snaffling, that is! Have a lovely day hun.

ccstar - nice to see you back hun. Sorry to hear about all your hassle you're getting. Remember - grit teeth, count to 10 and resist the urge to slap. I hope you're feeling better angel.

jo - how are you sweetie? It sounds as if you've really gone into nesting mode! That's a good sign that the baby will be along any time now. Just don't overdo it, ok? Wishing you well hunnie.

I'm sending out good Tiffy vibes to anyone with any counselling, treatments, interviews, appointments, work and meetings this week and also to anyone who's poorly or who has poorly loved ones and to any of the clan who are struggling a bit atm.

Safe journeys guys and be kind to yourself.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

beachbeth

Rosepink, what you describe isn't pathetic at all. I get the same way and I used to have panic attacks thinking about driving to town and parking and then walking to the shop I wanted to go to. Sssssss is right. Think of yourself safely cocooned in your car until a space becomes available. When you are poorly even going to just one shop seems like a huge thing to be able to do.

I would really recommend you read the book Self Help for Your Nerves: Learn to Relax and Enjoy Life Again by Overcoming Stress and Fear by Claire Weekes. Its available on Amazon from £3 for a used copy or £5.79 new (or you may be able to get it from your library). I read this and it really helped me deal with my panic attacks in a way that stopped them wrecking my life. Ive never had a book help me with anything in this way before and I can't recommend it highly enough.

Best wishes for today and I hope it goes smoothly for you.

Tiff_2

Hi mary!
Thanks for posting hunnie - you're most welcome here, whether it's for a whinge or for anything else. It certainly sounds as if you're fully entitled both to whinge and to feel sorry for yourself angel and I'm sorry to hear you've got such an awful illness to deal with.

As you say, antibiotics and a visit to the dentist will help the abcess - it's a terrible pain to have. NHSDirect can help you find a local NHS dentist mary - there link is posted below. Can I just suggest that you tell your dentist about your other medical conditions hun? It's important they know your full medical history because that can really affect how you're treated for your abcess, due to any other meds and other factors.

Obviously I don't know your situation sweetheart, but I think it may be a good idea to see your gp and tell them about your sleep problems. It's a very common fear when we're very poorly and I can quite understand why you feel this way. Lack of quality sleep has a very negative effect on both our physical and mental health. I don't know what support, if any, that you have in place but it can help to know that there's someone local to turn to when things get hard for us. Again, your gp can help you to access many types of resources. And it doesn't have to all be physically based either - there are various ways to get emotional support too. That is just as important. At least with knowing all the options open to you, you can then consider what may suit you the best.

I found a few links you may like to browse through, but I'm no professional mary so please be very careful about making choices or decisions of any kind. Always run everything past your professional team first, mary...
http://www.nhsdirect.nhs.uk/

http://www.cancerhelp.org.uk/help/default.asp?page=157

http://www.whatnow.org.uk/

http://www.cancerbuddiesnetwork.org/

Just to say here angel, that the two charities Cancerbackup and Macmillan Cancer Support have now merged into one charity...
http://www.cancerbackup.org.uk/Resourcessupport/UKpatientinformationguide/Livingwithcancer

You may not be looking for sympathy but you've got it - we're very good at that on here! - as well as my admiration for what you're dealing with. There's nothing wrong with a bit of sympathy, sweetheart. I hope the abcess (nasty things!) gets sorted quickly hunnie - don't let it get any worse. I hope you'll keep us posted and stay around and get to know us a little.
Be kind to yourself angel.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi pixie!
How are you angel? I'm sorry to read of the struggles you're going through pixie and for the loss of your husband. You're most welcome to post and sound off here hun and I'm glad you decided to post after lurking for so long.
It must be so hard to deal with your own grief, as well as with your daughter's grief for over a year. It sounds like you're a strong little thing pixie.

There's two issues here angel: your daughter's grief and your grief.
I'll have to start by telling you that no, you are not alone in what you are going through. It's always a highly personal event. I lost my mum last month, but I'm just turned 44 and I'm finding it hard. Are you getting any kind of support for yourself, pixie? Don't spread yourself too thinly angel - that won't help anyone. It may be a good idea to see your gp and open up to them about the whole situation. It sounds as if you're in need of a bit of support after coping on your own for a year. They may be able to help you access local resources or support to help you if you're struggling, hunnie - and no, you won't be wasting their time. They'll also be aware of any resources around to help your daughter.

Adolescence is hard at the best of times, let alone having to deal with losing your father as well. I would like to reassure you both that there isn't a right or wrong way to grieve and there's no set time limit. Maybe after a year though, it might be helpful for her to have some further input. Of course it will take very delicate handling because some teenagers aren't very receptive to 'outside' help. Has she opened up and talked to you about it? Does she come to you to talk or do you try and get her to open up? How are things at school? Your dr may be able to help you with determining whether your daughter's grieving or whether there's also other stress factors she's under. I've looked up some websites which may be of interest to you pixie - you can then decide whether they may help your daughter. Please always use your own judgement and think very carefully about these sites because I'm not a professional, angel, and I think you are going to have to move forward very gently.

http://www.mind.org.uk/Information/Booklets/Understanding/Understanding+bereavement.htm

http://www.childbereavement.org.uk/for_young_people

http://www.winstonswish.org.uk/foryoungpeople/default.asp?section=000100010001&pagetitle=Young+People

http://www.rd4u.org.uk/

http://www.thelightbeyond.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=15

http://www.childhoodbereavementnetwork.org.uk/haad.htm

http://www.facingbereavement.co.uk/talking-teens-about-death.html

I don't know your situation hunnie or the relationhip you have with your daughter and there are many factors to consider. I really think that getting professional advice through your gp could be the best way forward for you. At least that way, you'll have covered all your bases and will get some reassurance for yourself too, that you're doing all you can for both of you. And meanwhile angel, you know where we are if you need a friendly ear.
Be kind to yourself hunnie.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx