Depression Support Thread

Horasio

I feel so ill just now.

My head is splitting and I want to throw up, I have a cold which is making me feel like hell. Things are going wrong and my OH is being a pig on top.

He has this habit of being a pig when I don't feel well, then blaming me for his failings. I used to fall for it and blame myself/illness and feel sorry for him after being so horrible to him after he was horrible to me. My illness was a problem but it never caused major problems with other people but whenever I don't feel good, hell is sure to follow from him. He says vicious and nasty things that are bound to wind me up and I give it back, then a vicious row follows. The adrenaline pumps and it makes me feel tireder on top of feeling the original tiredness or illness, so more upsettable and so it goes.

He has been at home for nearly a year and it is difficult having him at home all day, trying to run a house and relax. He wants to set up a business and willing to support him but it is a two way thing.

When we do things that are supposed to make us feel happy and close, he sits there like a wet weekend, moaning how he feels. There is a time and place and I am willing to listen to him talk about how he feels but I feel he is the one attracting the negative energy to us. I try to be upbeat and positive but he is so stubborn and digs his heels in about his rights to be miserable, that it brings me down. I get to the stage, I don't want to be around him when I feel happy as it can turn so sour. Believe me a stubborn Capricorn will NEVER budge!

We are in a position to get apart and to be honest I have had enough of the emotional turmoil in my home. I can't work whilst I am with him, so haven't been able to work for years but as I had a child and my illness, it was hard anyway but now my OH is still playing his vile mind games with me of being nasty when I am ill or tired or being a miserable sod when I am happy - 27 years of his brand of hell is enough.

Horasio

pixiepuff wrote: »

Hi never done this before! Have looked on the site many time but have never posted a reply. so here goes! Lost my husband just over a year ago, my daughter who is 15 is finding it very hard to come to terms with her dad's death & is full of anger & resentment (mainly towards me!) which is understandedable. I was coping wll at first but as time has gone on, i've got to feeling down. I think i just need someone to sound of to. Also to know that I'm not the only person out there that feels like this

Hi Pixiepuff

Sorry to hear of your loss

I don't know why your daughter would resent you and she will feel raw too but she does need to realise that you are suffering too and trying to keep things together.

I guess there is a lot to do when someone dies, then it all dies down and the real impact hits you.

Can you and your daughter work together to get thro your loss. Do you have other people you can talk to/support you both?

Tulip

:hello:Everyone,

I have been for a nice walk with my parents earlier,then made my lunch.Read magazine for an hour on sofa,then did my cleaning chores and they are all done apart from vaccuming which I will do tomorrow

:hello: Pixiepuff sorry to hear of your loss and welcome to the thread.So hoping Anni is feeling better as miss our chats but I hope we will chat soon,I miss you Anni hope you and Sam are still going strong.

:hello: Tiff you are an angel for thinking of me,how are you? hope you are well yourself.I dont smartie Snaffle,I only do it when Saz is around? Hey Saz can you open the smartie cupboard so I can snaffle some when Tiff isnt looking and take some for you and Gilly badger too and anyone on this thread that wants any,oh and Tiff you can have some as well seeing as I am so nice and considerate



Katie

Tulip

:hello: CCStar,

*hugs* sorry to hear of your troubles with your OH.I hope things will get easier soon for the both of you.


Katie

beachbeth

Hugs from me too, CCStar. It must be difficult when your partner isn't very supportive. If you decide to make the break I wish you all the best. It can't be easy but maybe you would feel better without his negativity?

Hugs to anyone else who needs it too. Ive been very tearful today but didn't want to post because all I seem to do is moan just lately! Tried to get an appointment to see the doctor today but can't get in until tomorrow because one of the doctors is on holiday. Everyone seems so down at the moment what with the credit crunch and all the job losses.

Horasio

beachbeth wrote: »

Hugs from me too, CCStar. It must be difficult when your partner isn't very supportive. If you decide to make the break I wish you all the best. It can't be easy but maybe you would feel better without his negativity?

Hugs to anyone else who needs it too. Ive been very tearful today but didn't want to post because all I seem to do is moan just lately! Tried to get an appointment to see the doctor today but can't get in until tomorrow because one of the doctors is on holiday. Everyone seems so down at the moment what with the credit crunch and all the job losses.

Thank you

I know I can whinge too, but I am finding it hard coping with the negative forces my OH brings to our lives, especially when I do make the effort when I can and get bought down for that and given a row when I feel low. It isn't any of the homes we have, except the noisy ones we had on top.

As I say, the cycle we have is sick. I feel a loss of confidence to do anything outside the home that might tire me, and scared around him when I feel ill or tired or when I feel happy. It feels so wrong and been in this emotional cycle too long.

Any encouragement to break this cycle and escape would be appreciated. I feel depleted with my cold, the dynamics of our relationship and pressure to find a new home.

Reasons I am scared to go is fear of living in a noisy place with bullying neighbours and having to cope with them alone, I seem to attract bullies, I guess it stems from school and feel after the last few houses I will attract me. I am also scared I won't be able to make a living and get work/set up a business, end up with no money and have to live somewhere amongst bullies.

I also worry about my mother bullying me. My OH tends to ferry her around as I am scared of her when I feel low.

People seem to know when you feel low and are horrible. They seem to like bringing you down when you feel good too.

I would love to be a hermit and escape these horrible people.

shazrobo

hi all :j just a quick hello from me, been busy the last two days. ian had both yesterday and today off, and spent it with me and the kids which has been great, went shopping at hull yesterday, then went to withensea for a walk on seafront, then after we got home, went out for a meal and a couple of drinks. today we have been to blackpool, feel tired and exhausted, but happy now, soon as lads been in bath, i'm going for a soak, and an early night. hoping the rest of the school hols passess as quickly as the last 2 days have

hugs all
shaz xxx

Horasio

Sorry to be a drag today but this cold and my OH shouting at me has bought me right down.

beachbeth

CCStar wrote: »

Sorry to be a drag today but this cold and my OH shouting at me has bought me right down.

You're not a drag. Thats what this thread is for. Offload as much as you want. Sounds as though you could do without your OH as well as your mother. Who needs people like this is their life? I find my own mother difficult a lot of the time but she does try not to upset me. Is it possible for you to either leave or have your OH leave? It doesn't sound as though you are doing each other much good. Sorry if Im speaking out of turn. I just wish I could be of more help.

rosepink1984

Hi CCstar, sorry to hear things are so rough for you at the mo. I read a great quote today: "Women are like teabags. We don't know our true strength until we're in hot water." - Eleanor Roosevelt
I thought it was quite encouraging. Hope things work out for you what ever you decide to do.
I have a terrible cold too, and had to go shopping and banking earlier. It was tons harder than normal. Things are definately harder to deal with when you feel poorly. Hope you are soon on the mend and things seem a bit brighter for you
Hello to everyone else, hope your day is going well :hello: