Depression Support Thread

mezer3000

hey shaz - at least you took it easy on yourself, i love tuna mayo on jacket potatos!!! And well done for not going upstairs

This thing with the bf is i love him, i want to be with him, and he has been absolutely amazing to me for the past year (other than the little break up/kissing issue). I guess I made him sound like a really bad person, and im not defending the bad things he did, but he is more than making up for his mistakes. He has been so understanding through everything I am going through at the moment, will come back to look after me and talk to me whenever I need him, and knows exactly how to talk to me to make me feel better. Other than going to lectures, I am always with him, so I know that he's not cheating, but I just cant get the thought out of my head. Its completely tearing us apart. He crys his eyes out because I can't trust him, he so badly wants me to, he will do anything to help me to trust him. I'm just really struggling with it.
I hope that makes things clearer, I want to be with him.

shazrobo

hi mezer, sounds like he really regrets what he has done in the past. my suggestion would be perhaps try counselling together as a couple, i believe relate offer this service to couples and it dosent matter to them whether you are married or not. hope you can learn to trust him again

hugs
shaz xxx

Jo_R_2

Hey all

shaz - wasn't too bad today. Not great but trundled through it, managed to get to Post Office to run errands and went to playgroup for an hour in the afternoon. When back DD1 had picked a DVD from the library so put that on and the girls played amongst themselves for a while so had an hour to myself - or sort of, you know how it is.

Always think it sounds awful to say, well I "got through" the day but sometimes that is a real achievement in itself!

mezer - had a thousand thoughts about your relationship with your bf - in a very lighthearted fashion, gads I couldn't be round my OH all the time except when he *had* to go out - I'd go up the wall! Can I ask - do you spend such time together, not just because you want to, but because of the worries over trust? I'd hate to think it was some kind of protective mechanism, keeping him so close so you know what he's doing. I always think we have to glean strength from the little things - I worry sometimes I 'depend' on my OH too much almost when I'm feeling particularly down or depressed, so I ensure I have other people I can confide in, or who will listen so I'm not pouring everything of me into OH.

I don't know if that makes sense - I think in large it's me protecting myself after the break up of my relationship with my ex (my DDs' father) and not investing everything of myself in one place... Not that I don't love OH but it makes me feel better as a whole...

Anyway I'm rambling now so I'm off! xxxxx

Tulip

:hello: Everyone,

Hope all is well,I am fine had a nice evening of bingo online You can e-mail Jade Goody a support message using this e-mail address [EMAIL="Jadegoodyfacebook@hotmail.co.uk"]Jadegoodyfacebook@hotmail.co.uk[/EMAIL] all messages will be passed on to Jade for her to read.

Katie

mezer3000

Tulip wrote: »

:hello: Everyone,

Hope all is well,I am fine had a nice evening of bingo online You can e-mail Jade Goody a support message using this e-mail address [EMAIL="Jadegoodyfacebook@hotmail.co.uk"]Jadegoodyfacebook@hotmail.co.uk[/EMAIL] all messages will be passed on to Jade for her to read.

Katie

hey katie - did you play the 1p bingo on butlins? x

mezer3000

Jo_R wrote: »

Hey all
mezer - had a thousand thoughts about your relationship with your bf - in a very lighthearted fashion, gads I couldn't be round my OH all the time except when he *had* to go out - I'd go up the wall! Can I ask - do you spend such time together, not just because you want to, but because of the worries over trust? I'd hate to think it was some kind of protective mechanism, keeping him so close so you know what he's doing. I always think we have to glean strength from the little things - I worry sometimes I 'depend' on my OH too much almost when I'm feeling particularly down or depressed, so I ensure I have other people I can confide in, or who will listen so I'm not pouring everything of me into OH.

I don't know if that makes sense - I think in large it's me protecting myself after the break up of my relationship with my ex (my DDs' father) and not investing everything of myself in one place... Not that I don't love OH but it makes me feel better as a whole...

Anyway I'm rambling now so I'm off! xxxxx

heya

yeah i know what you mean - i do like spending a lot of time with him, but i have to admit, sometimes I do just ask him to spend time with me, so I know where he is. The problem is, if he's not here I have no-one else to talk to.

Tulip

mezer3000 wrote: »

hey katie - did you play the 1p bingo on butlins? x

yep I used to for a while,this is Harrys Bingo I am on now.Its great fun.

Katie

Tulip

I am off now,

chat tomorrow

Night! Night!


love and light,

Katie xxx

donnydiva

Hi there

Dont know if anyone can help, but just need to offload how I am feeling at the moment. I shall try to be as brief as possible (too much to explain in full detail)

Basically I am the only child of my mum and dad. My mum died after having dementia for 6 years last July (I dont think I have yet fully grieved for her). My dad (who is 80) having had 4 falls within 6 weeks over Christmas is currently in hospital and has been for nearly 4 weeks now. There is no other family.

I am signed off work with depression/anxiety, having gone through a medical which passed me as unfit for work, which is reviewed after a year, or until I get better. I am receiving counselling through my local doctors surgery.

I live in a 4th floor flat with no car, no washing machine, and exist on £60.50 a week.

I feel under tremendous strain at the moment, not least of which dealing with dad as he is at the moment. He has various health problems including a leaking heart valve, and just before he was admitted to hospital having had the 4th fall, he had been told by his heart consultant, that he would have to have an endoscopy, and that it looked like his heart valve was getting worse, which may involve an operation, which at his age with the effects of anasthetic, greatly worried both himself and me. He is the only family I have left.

He is due to be assigned a social worker through the hospital, but today, visiting him, I was told she was due back tomorrow having had a weeks holiday! He was told that a week and a half ago he was 'medically fit' to be discharged. But there needs to be social care put in place, so he doesnt feel vulnerable, and so it isnt all resting on me, as its not that Im not willing as such, but Im just not in the right position my self to help him.

I was chatting with a friend tonight, and they suggested writing a letter for the social worker, explaining the family set up as it were, and how I am. I seem to have various people on my back wanting me to inform them of when my dad is coming out of hospital, etc and I just feel I cant cope with it all, and I will end up forgetting someone. I have told one or two at the hospital my situation healthwise, so they understand but obviously I would need to inform a lot of staff for them all to know and then, do they actually take it on board anyway?

I know my dad is the patient, but at the end of the day I will be the one being notified about various things to do with him, if he cant manage, as he is very confused in himself, and it is so distressing seeing him how he is, but also distressing on my own health. I feel very tearful, and shaky typing this.

I would be grateful for any feedback, and thank you for your time if you ahve read this post.

Savvy_Sue

donny, have a hug, it's a lot for anyone to cope with.

It might be worth you having a look at the Silver Savers board, we have several threads over there about what happens when hospitals want to discharge older relatives. If Dad was living independently before he went into hospital, then he needs a full assessment of how his needs could be met in order to do so again. If that's not what he wants, then again there needs to be an assessment of what kind of care he needs and where he could get it. There should be no more talk of discharge until those assessments have been carried out.