Fibromyalgia (part 2)

black_paw

i wanted some tomato plants but at £1.20 ish at garden cent re's expensive, but managed to go late to boot sale and on first stall tomato plants for 20p each WOW and on stall 10 the coffee and donuts man yummy coffee and donuts £1.00 good value . sat in sun and got tan

bigzippy

Careful_with_that_Axe wrote: »

Ello again peeps. I'm finished for the day - only thing planned is perhaps a bath, reading and TV. Phew.

Ditto. Just been doing some gardening (shock horror here!! I never do gardening! In fact, it might be the first time I've ever done some..?:huh: I started of pointing and supervising, being company so he kept up the momentum then I ended up chopping the borders (his version of "straight" would probably have been diagonal ) and then I got bored so I sat down on a kneeling mat and dug about attempting to get weeds out. Result it a very reassuringly almost black border along an entire of one side of the garden ending with the plants my sis planted last week I did have to move about 4 frogs in the process though as for some reason some previous occupier thought rockerys were a great idea and these massive rocks are EVERYWHERE, so DF was moving them from the borders to behind the play house to make a makeshift compost heap (green bin was far too full!), and DF is scared of frogs/toads :rolleyes: Bless him.

Cwta wrote:

bz, the behaviour of your MIL2B does seem manipulative - is it a little battle to prove that she's either still a signifcant person in your DF's life or is the most significant? I think it is wise to leave at least 24 hours before fulfilling her demands. I do think that this is a problem that can be solved or at least minimised. Have you thought about posting about the situation on the relationship sub-board? There are some pretty savvy people there. I think that you'll have to get DF onboard too - howabout making some rules with her about her constant calls for help? And sticking to them?

Um, I think it all stems from the fact that when DF's dad left DF and Mil2b slowly drifted into this codependant relationship where he was sort of like her partner and her carer. This is obviously hard to transistion back out of that to mother/son and me be his MOST significant other It's tricky.
To answer your q, no I haven't particularly checked out any of the other boards.

raeh wrote:

bz, do you think your mil2b is scared of being left alone?? i know it must be a terrible pain and i think you have to have boundaries for her but after my stepdad died my mum would ring me constantly [and still does!!] and as shes bordering agrophobic i have to take her everywhere she needs to go :rolleyes: but its mostly the fact that the house is so empty when shes left alone she needs to know someone is there [me!!] i know you must hate it but if shes ill and scared of being left maybe your oh could talk to her and reaasure her that she will never be left alone, is he the only family??
re: your sister and her wedding .... scuse me here ...... selfish, jealous, ignorant b!atch :mad: and no excuse whatsoever for your parents not replying immediately!!

We knew that this would be a tricky period though which is why we've tried to pull away in advance of married life. We still live round the corner from her, go round a few times a week for dogs/tea/etc and I invariably take her to her appts and am her "PA" (in terms of making sure her appts etc are written up on her white board big enough for her to see etc) and DF goes through her finances and paperwork with her (did I mention she's 3/4 blind?). It's not like we don't dedicate time to her, which is why it's so frustrating that she wants the moon on a stick!!

The sister thing is very annoying. She's also deluded if she thinks she can organise everything in that time as she's not in the best of health herself and doesn't have a bean from what I can gather.

kassandra wrote:

OMG bz, I didn't know that about your XOH. That must have been awful! I'd be mighty peeved at my sister too. In fact me and my sis aint talking atm. Just cos someone does you a favour does that then give them the right to call you names? I've probably told you already cos I know I'm forgetful but this is exactly it! I may be forgetful but I'm not stupid!! Ooh, I thought I had over reacted the other day but I'm getting mad again so I guess not. :mad:

The OMG I'm presuming comes from my terrible structure re tsunami and XOH's mum dying. They were two seperate incidents. My sister (the "wants to get 'married' in 6 months" one) was in the tsunami with her partner and friends. She lost her partner and best friend. She was a mess after it, physically I mean (although both), and it's a miracle that she's even walking really. She had a massive gash in her back and bits of her bone in scary places and her knee was really messed up. XOH's mum died suddenly of bronchitis type something. She was also a serial alcoholic and therefore didn't see the docs when she really should've. I got a call at 2am from an incredibly panicked XOH and went over, having to feel for a pulse, and had to basically shout at him to call the EM services over the phone. Grim. Some of my friends really struggled to be there through both/either and now the one that did stick by me was accused by an XBest friend of only relating to me through drama! If that's being drama queens together then I'll take it, cos forgive me but I'm pretty sure that her definition of seeing each other through drama is actually what being a true friend means! :mad:
Your sis called you names after doing you a favour??:huh:

raeh wrote:

blimey where to start *g* i think you should all only be allowed one post if i havent been in

I think we'd've been serverely rationed over the last coupla weeks then

Jamla glad you enjoyed your car boot trip and got some bargains. Nicely done

bigzippy

I'm so excited!! I've just had an email through freecycle offering us a 4/5yr old Black and Decker lawnmower! Sounds like (from the description she gave) just the job and heavy duty enough to be able to tackle our dodgy lawns!! YAY! :j:T:beer::j:D

Trialia

bigzippy wrote: »

Your sis called you names after doing you a favour??:huh:

Heh, I get that all the time from mine. Last time, I dyed her hair for her, and within an hour she was b!tching her head off at me X_X; I try not to do things for her after stuff like that because I know how she'll get, but sometimes she behaves really sweetly, and I forget... *sigh*

Sorry I haven't responded to much, guys. Been sleeping the world away, I'm too worn out to post on 90% of my forums. *facepalm*

purplecatlover

id rather have a friend who supports me through the drama, if indeed it is drama, and allows me to do the same for her, than one who only wants me around when everything is hunky dorey.

well done on the lawn mower bz, hope it works well

morning everyone

bigzippy

purplecatlover wrote: »

id rather have a friend who supports me through the drama, if indeed it is drama, and allows me to do the same for her, than one who only wants me around when everything is hunky dorey.

My sentiments exactly pcl! Funniest thing was, the "best friend" that was accusing me and the other friend of being drama crisis lovers has been the worst person for any sort of "real" situation :rolleyes: and has proven herself time and time again to be nothing better than a fair weather friend. Funny thing is, she doesn't realise it and thinks she's ace! :rotfl:

purplecatlover

its amazing how clueless they are, that type never do realise they are far from ace

your up nice and early, is this a new pattern emerging in your sleep schedule by chance?

bigzippy

P.S. Don't worry, I'm not still awake, and I'm not changing the habit of a lifetime (or what feels like one :rolleyes:)!! DF woke me up leaving for work and then the BT Openreach guy rang and said he'd be here in 15mins (about 8am :shocked:) so it was a good job the sun was preventing sleep as I'd completely forgotten about it and would've been supremely peeved if I'd been enjoying some luxurious sleep I've had some cheese on toast (and discovered that the grill doesn't work :rolleyes:) and a ham and cheese toastie and a chewee bar thingy (don't know why I was so hungry) so now I'm fully intending to sleep it all off I think it's best I try to stay resting/sleeping for today, as I've no doubt my efforts in the garden last night will come back and bite me on the bum! :rotfl: Am very excited about getting the lawnmower tonight though (going for it between DF's job 1 and 2) and it also means we can use one of those weed/feed/seed things that should make the lawns better but start to kill off the ridiculous number of weeds :shocked: cos we'll actually have a mower to keep the feed bit in check! :j

Right, that's enough excitement for one morning...I'm off for some snoozey time Catch you all this arvo

bigzippy

purplecatlover wrote: »

its amazing how clueless they are, that type never do realise they are far from ace

Indeedy... this particular one completely kicked off about the fact that I wouldn't make her my maid of honour (it was a right to do bringing about the comments about other friends etc... but it's not even like I'm having a MOH anyway! :rolleyes:) but has been telling me throughout how much she wants to be part of it and help me....BUT that she could only possibly do that once she's finished uni (in 5weeks allegedly) and that she'll be all mine then...but I know for a fact that she's moving into my old house as soon as she's finished uni and has already admitted that she'll be kept busy with that! :mad:

pcl wrote:

your up nice and early, is this a new pattern emerging in your sleep schedule by chance?

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:Hahaha! pcl you do make me laugh!!

(You posted at the same time as my "P.s." )

black_paw

im up early aswell must be the weather or the same choc biccies