Leaving home at 17

Smashing

So you move in with g/f & parents - halfway through the year is goes tits up. Where do you live? whilst finishing your exams?

Rosie75

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

Good grief, I hadn't even noticed that! I too went to a good grammar school and then eventually became an FE lecturer. There is just no comparison between the teaching and behavioural standards between the two types of institution.

Completely agree - a grammar school education is better than that offered by some private schools and not to be sniffed at if you are lucky enough to have that opportunity. I went to a grammar school and - working in higher education now - know that the education I had was only surpassed by the very best private schools. A sixth-form college will not bring out the best in a bright student, and studying will not be a priority for many of those in your class. For the sake of another year, is it worth jeopardising such an important year in a school which will really make the difference to your setting on the path to a career that you really want?

Bogof_Babe

I have a suggestion - forget about "living together", which can only be a half-baked plan anyway, given the fact that you will be living as a guest/lodger in someone else's house, and do something really radical like get engaged! Put your emotional energies into planning for a future together, rather than rushing into a pretend commitment (in that neither of you are in a position to live in proper cohabiting coupledom).

This will give you the warm glow you so obviously crave (both of you), while leaving you unencumbered with practical stuff so that you can complete your education and become proper husband material. Also you both get the breathing space to decide if you are really sincere about eachother (bearing in mind the 'possible' changes in feelings between 16/17 and 22/23).

It would be much cheaper to pay for a webcam and an unlimited minutes phone package than to uproot and relocate somewhere miles from your family.

Princess_Jane

rev_henry wrote: »

Gf and her mum know how domestically inept I am, it is a running joke over there almost. But luckily her mum is very much the stay at home and look after the house and kids type, which my gf takes after in much the same way, so she doesn't mind doing my washing etc!

I can assure you both that will soon wear off!

When my fella and I moved in together, first as flatmates with others then as a couple, he was still mummy's little soldier with a filthy bedroom.

It took some doing, but a cleaning rota and refusing to 'sleep' in his stinky bedroom eventually did the trick, and three years later he's nearly there.

I work too damn hard to be running round picking up dirty socks for diddums and know from experience that one person being domestically inept can be a flash point for arguments.

I know it sounds anal but I can't recommend a cleaning rota highly enough for multiple households, saves one person or more becoming the martyr.

oystercatcher

rev_henry wrote: »

Gf and her mum know how domestically inept I am, it is a running joke over there almost. But luckily her mum is very much the stay at home and look after the house and kids type, which my gf takes after in much the same way, so she doesn't mind doing my washing etc!

You seem proud to be domestically inept ! This is nothing to be proud of and I should change this immediately if you want to be taken seriously.

Are you moving in with them as an extra child or are you moving in with them as a mature adult ?

My boys of your age are expected to do their own laundry , cook when I'm not there, indeed they have a meal ready for me when I am working a late shift. They also have household chores which are their responsibility.They don't tidy their rooms but then neither do I. I see it that once they are 16 they are more or less adult so they can pull their weight, I'm not there to be their servant.
My son who is your age is very welcome at his friends' houses because he helps their Mums and shames his friends into helping too.

Oystercatcher

mountainofdebt

I am being to think this thread is a wind up.

I mean what supposedly intelligent person (as the OP suggests he is) would consider a plan to move across the country, to live with his 15/16 year old girlfriend with her family with no means of support (and please don't quote EMA at me) , with potentially dire consequences on his education especially as he has such ambitious career aspirations.

And his mum hasn't voiced any opposition to such a half baked plan........

oystercatcher

mountainofdebt wrote: »

I am being to think this thread is a wind up.

I mean what supposedly intelligent person (as the OP suggests he is) would consider a plan to move across the country, to live with his 15/16 year old girlfriend with her family with no means of support (and please don't quote EMA at me) , with potentially dire consequences on his education especially as he has such ambitious career aspirations.

And his mum hasn't voiced any opposition to such a half baked plan........

No, I think he's just very naive !
Young love and all that!

OC

Bobs_Job

mountainofdebt wrote: »

I am being to think this thread is a wind up.

I mean what supposedly intelligent person (as the OP suggests he is) would consider a plan to move across the country, to live with his 15/16 year old girlfriend with her family with no means of support (and please don't quote EMA at me) , with potentially dire consequences on his education especially as he has such ambitious career aspirations.

And his mum hasn't voiced any opposition to such a half baked plan........

I left home and moved 200 miles to be with my OH when I was 17. I was training to take over a family members business and would have ended up doing pretty well for myself. When I left I had no job planned, didn't know if it was going to work, knew almost nothing of the area.
It took me about 3 weeks to get a job, I'm still with my parter and we are currently expecting our second child. We own our second house and I have never felt happier with my career. This is all 8 years later at the age of 25.
If I had a fully baked plan I may of missed out on everything I have right now, I may of never had my beautiful DD and now fianc! to be proud of.

I don't believe at 17 you can really decide which way you want to go in life, and sometimes maybe going with your gut feeling is the right thing to do. The way I look at it is, to whichever area your planning on moving to there will be other people, other people who work and can afford to pay for the houses they own in that same area, people who can afford to pay their way of life.
Personally I don't feel it is always necessary to try and plan your future as you can't predict it.


If you really feel it will work with your girlfriend then I say go for it. If your parents love you they will always be there for you no matter where in the country you are, mine have always been there for me and after all, they are still only 4 hours away.

Good luck with it all Rev_Henry, whatever you choose is right.


Edit: Just to add I haven't read everyone's views on this subject, just the OP and the last few so excuse me if my views have already been mentioned, just wanted to add my 2 cents worth as I've been in a similar situation.

Oldernotwiser

Bobs_Job wrote: »

I left home and moved 200 miles to be with my OH when I was 17. I was training to take over a family members business and would have ended up doing pretty well for myself. When I left I had no job planned, didn't know if it was going to work, knew almost nothing of the area.
It took me about 3 weeks to get a job, I'm still with my parter and we are currently expecting our second child. We own our second house and I have never felt happier with my career. This is all 8 years later at the age of 25.
If I had a fully baked plan I may of missed out on everything I have right now, I may of never had my beautiful DD and now fianc! to be proud of.

I don't believe at 17 you can really decide which way you want to go in life, and sometimes maybe going with your gut feeling is the right thing to do. The way I look at it is, to whichever area your planning on moving to there will be other people, other people who work and can afford to pay for the houses they own in that same area, people who can afford to pay their way of life.
Personally I don't feel it is always necessary to try and plan your future as you can't predict it.


If you really feel it will work with your girlfriend then I say go for it. If your parents love you they will always be there for you no matter where in the country you are, mine have always been there for me and after all, they are still only 4 hours away.

Good luck with it all Rev_Henry, whatever you choose is right.


Edit: Just to add I haven't read everyone's views on this subject, just the OP and the last few so excuse me if my views have already been mentioned, just wanted to add my 2 cents worth as I've been in a similar situation.

Unfortunately "gut feeling" doesn't get you into vet school!

Bobs_Job

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

Unfortunately "gut feeling" doesn't get you into vet school!

Aye, I've just been scrolling through other parts of the thread. Just added an edit to my post to clarify.

Personally I still believe in happiness in life style before work. Work to live don't live to work.