Black Dog of Depression - can we help each other?

System

Lamewolf-woah! to be fair sounds like you have a lot on your plate at the minute so its not surprising if its making you feel upset.

Anglian Wolf Society-can't say i've heard of it, but it sounds interesting! And congrats on your 6 year anniversary!! Try not to worry about the couple, i'm sure they do like you. I have no idea what the Spoon Theory is! :eek: Do i want to know..it sounds scary! Hopefully with you DH around it won't be as stressful, could you keep yourself busy elsewhere in the house so you don't have to be around the person fitting it?

Know what you mean about writing out stuff getting you down, that's why it took me nearly 4 months to fill in my DLA/ESA forms! I hate thinking about my illness and the sheer destructive effect its had on my life. Its hard to see things in black and white, BUT if it helps them understand what you're going through and helps them to make you feel better then it can only be a good thing in the long run right?

:eek: not keen on needles myself thankfully i avoid them most of the time (though despite this i want to go and give blood...i must be insane...oh wait.. )

2 months is a while a way yet, so plenty of time to prepare yourself. If you definetly think you wont be up to going to the pub, what about the tow of you going for a meal first then him going to see friends at the pub after? That way you get to see each other but you wont have to go to the pub? Or maybe agree to go for a few drinks?

purplecatlover

lw good luck with everything tomorrow, im sure dh would rather he had to do extra at home than you made yourself worse, but i know how hard it is to turn of the guilty feelings for not being able to so the " i should" stuff.

messed up the spoon theory is a really good analogy used to explain me/fms/lupus/other things. it was originally written by someone with lupus iirc.
http://butyoudontlooksick.com/navigation/BYDLS-TheSpoonTheory.pdf

LameWolf

Thanks, MessedUp. The Spoon Theory is a helpful way of describing how the horrible, crippling fatigue can get you.
http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/navigation/BYDLS-TheSpoonTheory.pdf

Anglian Wolf Society is a local study group with a pack of five wolves.
http://www.anglianwolf.com/ You'll have realised from my screen name and avatar that I love wolves.....

I think any one thing I'd more or less cope with, it just seems to have come all at once this time. I shall indeed take myself off into the kitchen tomorrow morning; hopefully I'll be functional enough to manage a bit of baking. Blokey will be working in the lounge, so I'll leave DH to keep an eye on him.

Unfortunately going out for a meal for DH's b'day isn't possible; my digestive system is shot, and the result is I can't eat a full meal - hard to manage a starter, even. I have to eat tiny amounts throughout the day. DH has already reserved the evening at the pub - it's his 60th, so he wants a "proper" celebration. Don't know what I'm more scared of - everybody being there, or fearing no-one'll turn up. Oh well, as long as he doesn't insist I celebrate when it's my next one in April (and it's one with a "0" on the end:rotfl:)......

Thanks for your support; it does help.:A

ETA Looks like I cross-posted withPcl.:rotfl:

whitevanwoman

xXMessedUpXx wrote: »

whitevanwomen-you inspired me to go out and buy some bubble bath so i can have a nice relaxing bath later!
Hooray! Enjoy! don't forget talc, nail varnish, candles etc

KittyBoo-i can relate to having the "critical voices", the only way i could describe it was like i was having bad thoughts (telling me i was a bad person, to hurt myself etc) as opposed to voices per say, i always refer to it as "bad me", they did try me on a small dose of Olazipine but it didn't really help.
Me too! I thought I was becoming delusional or schizophrenic, but I think it was just anxiety

Lamewolf-tell us don't feel like you'd be dragging us down, might help to get it off your chest?
very well said.

Paprika-is there anyone who could go with you to the doctors appointment?
good luck, be strong

blackpaw-how are you feeling now? did the pamper session help? p.s. the doggy is your avatar is adorable!!
nearly as adorable as rigg the pig ;-)

crazy_girl-thanks for the hugs, and hopefully yes there will be up days
yep, there are definitely up days, today I am sanding and painting my front door frame having suddenly got the urge to do some DIY yesterday. Now that I've started on doing some jobs which have needed doing for [STRIKE]months [/STRIKE] years, I've suddenly realised how much needs doing! But it is good to go to bed at night thinking that I have actually done something productive during the day. Although I think it has actually been a cunning plan by my brain to avoid having to go and get my prescription - oops, the surgery is closed now, will have to wait till tomorrow ;-)

Hope everyone else's day is ok.

black_paw

hi all yes feeling alot better and actually had got night sleep ..got new winter duvet 13.tog and put that on and bones ect.felt alot better and went to sleep ok. the avatar is my brother lab ,,,whom i look after some times . she is vey loving and cuddly ..will try to sit on your lap ,,,,,,always feel alot better when she is around

System

I'm braving a night out with friends for the first time in ages. Going to see their band

Won't be making the mistake of mixing trazadone with alcohol again, like an idiot i did this on saturday and half a pint was enough to make me nearly pass out i rarely drink execpt now and again. had no idea it had such a violent reaction. had the odd drink when on fluexotine and citalopram and was ok, but not with this stuff. :eek:

crazy_girl

LameWolf wrote: »

Thank you.:o

It's all silly really, I suppose.

We're going to visit the Anglian Wolf Society this Sunday - it's our 6th wedding anniversary - and the couple (friends of DH) who were coming with us have let us down, so I'm feeling down about that (always suspected they didn't really like me).

I have a mega-stressful day tomorrow; there's a chap coming in the morning to fit a video system so that I can see who's at the door before using half of the days "spoons" (you know the Spoon Theory?) getting up to answer the door. I desperately want it put in, but I absolutely hate having people in the house. DH will be home as he's got tomorrow off, but it's still nerve-racking for me.

Once that's over, I have to visit the rheumatologist. That's scary in itself (the woman terrifies me) but also, I've prepared a Word document with all the stuff that's been going on with my lupus lately, and doing that has depressed me (much like fillingout DLA forms gets people down cos you have to actually focus on what's wrong with you iyswim). Plus they'll make me have a blood test and I have a serious needle phobia.

On top of all that, I've been in a lupus flare for over a week, so not getting anything done at home, and I feel bad about that, as DH works full time and is having to do my share of the housework as well.

I'm stressing about DH's forthcoming birthday - he wants to have a celebration at the pub, and I don't know that I can cope with it. It's not until December, but I'm already stressing about it.

Just feel I want to cry all the time for no good reason. Ah well, I guess we've all been there.

id really like to know the spoon theory!

sounds like youve got a lot on your plate, mentally and physically

i hate having people in too, at the beginning of the year the council made us have new kitchen, bathroom and central heating. to most people that would be an amazing treat but for me to have strangers in my flat for 6 weeks in every single room was awful

one guy came round shouting because things hadnt been moved in certain places, i ended up holed up in my bedroom sobbing till the tenat liasion woman arrived!

crazy_girl

xXMessedUpXx wrote: »

I'm braving a night out with friends for the first time in ages. Going to see their band

Won't be making the mistake of mixing trazadone with alcohol again, like an idiot i did this on saturday and half a pint was enough to make me nearly pass out i rarely drink execpt now and again. had no idea it had such a violent reaction. had the odd drink when on fluexotine and citalopram and was ok, but not with this stuff. :eek:

hope you had a good night

crazy_girl

LameWolf wrote: »

Thanks, MessedUp. The Spoon Theory is a helpful way of describing how the horrible, crippling fatigue can get you.
http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/navigation/BYDLS-TheSpoonTheory.pdf

Anglian Wolf Society is a local study group with a pack of five wolves.
http://www.anglianwolf.com/ You'll have realised from my screen name and avatar that I love wolves.....

I think any one thing I'd more or less cope with, it just seems to have come all at once this time. I shall indeed take myself off into the kitchen tomorrow morning; hopefully I'll be functional enough to manage a bit of baking. Blokey will be working in the lounge, so I'll leave DH to keep an eye on him.

Unfortunately going out for a meal for DH's b'day isn't possible; my digestive system is shot, and the result is I can't eat a full meal - hard to manage a starter, even. I have to eat tiny amounts throughout the day. DH has already reserved the evening at the pub - it's his 60th, so he wants a "proper" celebration. Don't know what I'm more scared of - everybody being there, or fearing no-one'll turn up. Oh well, as long as he doesn't insist I celebrate when it's my next one in April (and it's one with a "0" on the end:rotfl:)......

Thanks for your support; it does help.:A

ETA Looks like I cross-posted withPcl.:rotfl:

that spoon theaory article was really interesting, i wonder if the same idea could be adapted to explain other illnesses that limit what you can and cant do or how long it takes you to do things

i was thinking about the clothes one, i have to be careful about what i wear, tops and dresses need to be tight enough to hold themselves up when i go to the loo or else able to be tucked up into my bra, things cant be too floaty that they might catch on walls without my knowledge, i cant wear skirts or 3/4 pants becuase i cant tuck them up but i cant risk letting them touch dirty floors either. i cant wear pants that might trail on the floor so all my jeans are turn-ups, i cant wear things that button down the front or dont have any give in them as they feel too tight when i start hyperventilating and make it worse, i can only wear one type of underwear from one shop....omg i could go on all day....geesh ocd sucks

crazy_girl

well i get married the day after next, im really freaking out that hes gonna leave me stranded at the town hall, that hes gonna decide that being my carer isnt exactly what he wants to do with the rest of his life.....