Black Dog of Depression - can we help each other?

KittyBoo_2

I feel as though I am going insane.
My head feels as though it's full off critical old women telling me I'm too fat, shouldn't be doing that or I ought to be doing this.
Every time I need to make a decision or just a simple choice of what to have for dinner, then they set off.
I can't seem to ignore it now and it's taking over my life.
I had a thyroid problem last year and have been on anti depressants since.
I had a really responsible job but now I have no confidence and feel really bad.
I feel as though I have no future and life is just racing past me.
Thanks for listening.
It's such a supportive thread that I thought I would just say how I felt.

black_paw

well come dane-kate and kitty boo .. we can have a good nag and natter on her and met like minded fellow friends to read and post to us ,though these hard times ,,,that seem at times to last all day. remember you are not alone and we are here for you, have a good moan and you should feel at lot better....chocolate bits handed round for all to enjoy !

LameWolf

KittyBoo that sounds horrible for you. I have a hard time making decisions too, but I don't have critical old women in my head, thank goodness. (Though knowing me, I'd probably tell them precisely where to go LOL).

I don't have any words of wisdom, except to suggest that you speak with your Doctor about it, but I hope you'll find some peace and comfort here. For what it's worth, I do understand at least some of what you're going through. Have you got any supportive friends/family? I'm told that can make a heck of a difference.

Black Paw send some of that chocolate over here, I'm having a high-stress day (see post on Fibro thread for details).

crazy_girl

dane-katie wrote: »

Well i been back to the hospital and been diagnosed with bi-polar disorder, so here i am in a strange place feel like im drugged up on new medication and i keep slurring my words haha is kinda funny but scary too sorry if i dont write things properly just im struggling to function at the minute

i can only echo what wolf said, new meds take a bit to start working so take it easy

crazy_girl

KittyBoo wrote: »

I feel as though I am going insane.
My head feels as though it's full off critical old women telling me I'm too fat, shouldn't be doing that or I ought to be doing this.
Every time I need to make a decision or just a simple choice of what to have for dinner, then they set off.
I can't seem to ignore it now and it's taking over my life.
I had a thyroid problem last year and have been on anti depressants since.
I had a really responsible job but now I have no confidence and feel really bad.
I feel as though I have no future and life is just racing past me.
Thanks for listening.
It's such a supportive thread that I thought I would just say how I felt.

have you been to your docs again and explained the new symptoms?

KittyBoo_2

crazy_girl wrote: »

have you been to your docs again and explained the new symptoms?

No, not yet although I will have to go back as I need a repeat prescription.
i just feel as though I should be able to sort myself out because physically I am not too bad but inside my head is a right mess. Some days are better than others but it doesn't take much to upset me or for me to beat myself up over the simplest things.
I really feel as though I am being tortured and I just look forward to going to bed and taking a sleeping tablet so I can switch off.
I take the anti depressants in the morning but I also take morphine based painkillers as they make me feel better and able to face the day.
When I read this, I can see I am on a terrible path but can't seem to get through it.
My symapathy and thoughts are with all of you who are sufferring from depression. xx

msmoose

dane-katie wrote: »

Well i been back to the hospital and been diagnosed with bi-polar disorder, so here i am in a strange place feel like im drugged up on new medication and i keep slurring my words haha is kinda funny but scary too sorry if i dont write things properly just im struggling to function at the minute

I shall second what the others second take it one day at a time. Coming out of hospital is really daunting at first especially if you’re getting use to new medication. I was in for three weeks in May & June, I have BPD. It seemed to take me ages to adjust to things again and even now months on I am just gradually functioning again normally...

msmoose

KittyBoo wrote: »

I feel as though I am going insane.
My head feels as though it's full off critical old women telling me I'm too fat, shouldn't be doing that or I ought to be doing this.
Every time I need to make a decision or just a simple choice of what to have for dinner, then they set off.
I can't seem to ignore it now and it's taking over my life.
I had a thyroid problem last year and have been on anti depressants since.
I had a really responsible job but now I have no confidence and feel really bad.
I feel as though I have no future and life is just racing past me.
Thanks for listening.
It's such a supportive thread that I thought I would just say how I felt.

Even though I don’t know you I just want to reach out and give you a big (((hug))) don’t worry I’m not some weirdo stalking crazy person... although I was named a crazy Brit this year by a pop star... (don’t ask...) ... have you ever been offered anything like therapy or CBT?
Before I was admitted into hospital in May I was in the worse place possible... there was no future I was a day away from ending my life which I had so perfectly planned. I spent 10 months in group therapy and worked through so many of my problems which really helped but at the same time I watched my mum get sicker and sicker before me and she passed away in March, that was when I hit rock bottom and gradually in between chasing a pop start manically around Europe my mental health grinded to a halt. I was under the care of the crisis team at home for 10 weeks but they were not much help, it was Auntie who was reading my online blog who realised how serious I was about ending my life who got me admitted to hospital, I spent three weeks there....
Now three months on things are looking up, I’m on a better drug regime thanks to my Psychiatrist and I am starting college next week to do a course I have wanted to do for many years but would never commit to because I was too busy caring for my mum. As much as I am looking forward to college I am equally terrified my mental health will fail me and I’ll fall at the first hurdle and won’t be able to keep up. If I can’t do this I don’t know where I’ll end up but I have to try... I hope to go onto university next year if college is successful.
My diagnosed is Borderline Personality Disorder. I have a history a Depression, Self Harm, OCD, Rapid Cycling Moods, PTSD & Binge Eating. I honestly think if It wasn’t for what I learnt in therapy over 10 months I wouldn’t have been able to handle my mum’s death as well and I wouldn’t be here now.
You will get through this, you just need the right support, care and help. Depression is a illness like any other illness and needs to be treated correctly. It takes time to recover.

black_paw

big hug to you all xxx

crazy_girl

KittyBoo wrote: »

No, not yet although I will have to go back as I need a repeat prescription.
i just feel as though I should be able to sort myself out because physically I am not too bad but inside my head is a right mess. Some days are better than others but it doesn't take much to upset me or for me to beat myself up over the simplest things.
I really feel as though I am being tortured and I just look forward to going to bed and taking a sleeping tablet so I can switch off.
I take the anti depressants in the morning but I also take morphine based painkillers as they make me feel better and able to face the day.
When I read this, I can see I am on a terrible path but can't seem to get through it.
My symapathy and thoughts are with all of you who are sufferring from depression. xx

i do that to myself too, i think mental illness is treated as shameful and you should be embarrassed about 'allowing' yourself to be ill by society and that makes it worse

but its not your fault, its just an illness like any other