Black Dog of Depression - can we help each other?

LameWolf

Redmandarin you've taken quite a step joining this thread. Can you take the next one, and see your GP? Would your partner be able to go along with you for moral support? They don't just automatically put you on tablets; talking to your GP, telling him/her how you feel, including that you don't like the idea of tablets, will be a start. Please don't just suffer, get the help you're entitled to.

emweaver

marrowgirl wrote: »

Nice to hear I'm not alone with my dirt phobia/depression link. Many a day I have freaked out about the dirt hiding in the cracks between the sofa cushions! However have been on the up the last 2 weeks and the dirt phobia thing seems to be lifting too. My counsellor has been marvelous -my last one was rubbish though so it pays to try to find one that's on your wavelength.

I have a phobia of germs I will clean something several times, wash my hands many times etc and still think they are "dirty". Often I have no energy to do so but it gets to me so much I push myself till Im aching and crying or ask my dh to do it, which causes arguments as he cant be bothered and knows it doesnt need doing. Its another reason I dont go out aswell as the panick attacks but I have to change and shower as soon as I get in or I start to freak out!

Im really embarassed admitting it to people as I feel like a "freak"

Gemmzie

My dog is driving me around the twist at the moment. I can't study and this is the only time I have. My hand/stomach are stressing me out, the DLA forms are stressing me out. I feel constantly nauseous. The slightest thing sends me off in a rage. I'm sleeping stupid amounts. Being in makes it worse I know, the do less and want to do less factor but I'm stuck now.
It got better, beginning of the month was really good but now. Argh, he's trapped me in a room again.

redmandarin

Thanks mustangsal & LameWolf and hi to everyone else!

When I read your messages, you're kind words really helped me. I tried hard today because I felt that after you had been so kind, I needed to report my progress to you - good or bad - and this spurred me on to try to have something positive to say!

I made myself phone my GP this morning and I managed to get an appointment this afternoon – which I went to! My original GP was rubbish, so I changed to another one in the practice, last time I went – and she is much better! She asked me some questions about how I feel and said she agreed that I am depressed! On a scale of 20 (20 being severe depression) she said I was about 12 or 13. I was prescribed a low dose of Amitriptyline which is an anti-depressant and also a pain killer (which should help the arthritis a bit). She said that it will take about 4 weeks before I feel better and that I’d have to stay on it for 6 months! Asprin based drugs cause me to have stomach pain, so until now I’ve been unable to have anti-inflammatory drugs for the arthritis pain and I could only have co-codomol. So she prescribed another drug to help counteract the stomach problem. This means that in a few days I can try taking ibuprofen and if I’m ok with it, I can be put on some stronger drugs for the arthritis!

The doctor said I need to see her again in two weeks time. She made the appointment on the system herself. I thanked her and said that I thought she’d done it herself because she knew that I might not get around to it - and she said “I’m taking you in hand”! That made me feel better – I felt relieved that I had asked for help and it made me feel more positive. I hope that I’ll start to feel better soon.

Thanks again guys for your support. See you tomorrow!

marrowgirl

emweaver wrote: »

I have a phobia of germs I will clean something several times, wash my hands many times etc and still think they are "dirty". Often I have no energy to do so but it gets to me so much I push myself till Im aching and crying or ask my dh to do it, which causes arguments as he cant be bothered and knows it doesnt need doing. Its another reason I dont go out aswell as the panick attacks but I have to change and shower as soon as I get in or I start to freak out!

Im really embarassed admitting it to people as I feel like a "freak"

Well, if you're a freak we can be freaky together! I can't give you any words of wisdom because I am still tackling it myself, but you are not alone. Today is a bad day, I haven't been outside and even hid from the postman! Its weird because I used to work in a hospital so always had my hands in gunk but now the thought of germs is overwhelming. However, to get by I am trying to congratulate myself on the tiny things I have been able to do today to try to block out my negative thoughts.

moneysavingmonkey85

exactly em, nobody on this thread thinks you're a freak. redmandarin, I think it was really brave to go to the drs - I am still trying (but I have to register with one first!) got my private counselling session today, but unsure whether to continue, as its expensive and I don't feel as if I'm getting anywhere......does anybody know if there's a plateau of recovery, is it worth persevering?

LameWolf

redmandarin wrote: »

Thanks mustangsal & LameWolf and hi to everyone else!

When I read your messages, you're kind words really helped me. I tried hard today because I felt that after you had been so kind, I needed to report my progress to you - good or bad - and this spurred me on to try to have something positive to say!

I made myself phone my GP this morning and I managed to get an appointment this afternoon – which I went to! My original GP was rubbish, so I changed to another one in the practice, last time I went – and she is much better! She asked me some questions about how I feel and said she agreed that I am depressed! On a scale of 20 (20 being severe depression) she said I was about 12 or 13. I was prescribed a low dose of Amitriptyline which is an anti-depressant and also a pain killer (which should help the arthritis a bit). She said that it will take about 4 weeks before I feel better and that I’d have to stay on it for 6 months! Asprin based drugs cause me to have stomach pain, so until now I’ve been unable to have anti-inflammatory drugs for the arthritis pain and I could only have co-codomol. So she prescribed another drug to help counteract the stomach problem. This means that in a few days I can try taking ibuprofen and if I’m ok with it, I can be put on some stronger drugs for the arthritis!

The doctor said I need to see her again in two weeks time. She made the appointment on the system herself. I thanked her and said that I thought she’d done it herself because she knew that I might not get around to it - and she said “I’m taking you in hand”! That made me feel better – I felt relieved that I had asked for help and it made me feel more positive. I hope that I’ll start to feel better soon.

Thanks again guys for your support. See you tomorrow!

:T:T:T Well done Redmandarin, way to go! Sounds like you've found a good GP there - make use of her! I'm really pleased you plucked up the courage, hopefully in a few months' time, you'll feel like a totally new person.

mustangsal

well, my dog is seriously !!!!!!!*& me off.:mad: been in tears since i woke up. over nothing. stupid. determined to at least try to get out in the garden to hang out washing this morning though. gotta try. i hope everyone's "dogs" are quietly sleeping in their beds.

moneysavingmonkey85

oh mustangsal, did you not sleep well? Is it sunny in your garden? I hope you feel a little better now - but don't worry about too many chores! Try to do something you want to today even if its just a dvd/book - or my favourite a bath!! Hugs

mustangsal

thanks. it is sunny. i love the bath! practically live in there when i'm feeling rotten! feeling a bit better now. got my little sister coming round later,:D with my neice and nephew. we're gonna try and get to the park with the kids. really hope i can get out the door. :eek:
wish me luck! lol. xx