Black Dog of Depression - can we help each other?

mustangsal

soolin wrote: »

mustangsal, have you anyone outside the family you can talk about this with? This is something that you may need too explore via clinical routes, maybe a counsellor or other therapist otherwise you will always have it in your mind. You need to get some real help to conquer this and put the past where it belongs so you can be free of it for the rest of your life.

If you haven't already done so speak to your GP and ask for a referral to someone who can help.

i have been to my gp previously, it sounds silly but i'm scared to go back. she kept putting me on different anti depressants. none of which agreed with me. a few actually changed my personality completely. it really scared me. i don't want to be doped up either. i have three kids to look after. although my oh is great i dont like burdening him with all the responsibility. i am going to go to the doctor, but there are huge witing lists for any kind of therapy. i feel as if i'm giving up if i go on the list. because i want to be better by next year. not still waiting for some kind of help. just feel so useless.

soolin

mustangal I don't know what else to say yet I feel I need to say something. I can understand how you have been disallusioned with your GP and maybe feel unhappy about just being medicated, however I am mindful of the rules on MSE about medical advice.

Do you have someone that can act as an advocate for you, someone that can go with you to the gp and explain that you don't feel that pill popping is necessarily the thing to help you? Through my various day jobs I am aware that help is limited due to funding and I am desperately trying to think of something useful to suggest.

mustangsal

soolin wrote: »

mustangal I don't know what else to say yet I feel I need to say something. I can understand how you have been disallusioned with your GP and maybe feel unhappy about just being medicated, however I am mindful of the rules on MSE about medical advice.

Do you have someone that can act as an advocate for you, someone that can go with you to the gp and explain that you don't feel that pill popping is necessarily the thing to help you? Through my various day jobs I am aware that help is limited due to funding and I am desperately trying to think of something useful to suggest.

yes, my partener will come with me. well he kinda has to anyway as i cant go out alone. thank you for your concern and kind words. have spoken to my sister about the situation and feel a little better.

LameWolf

Mustangsal I can't offer any words of wisdom, but if it's any help at all, I know where you're coming from. I hope you can get some real, practical help, very soon.

Well folks, I wasn't sure I'd get online today. Bloomin' dog's been barking in my face for the last 24 hours. *Sigh* ah well, this too shall pass.

mustangsal

thank you lamewolf. it helps to know other people understand. just to know it's not just me. hope your dog gives you a break. it's odd because my real black dog is such a comfort to me. lazy old lurcher. she and the cat know when i'm down and "look after" me. in their own little ways. x

So_Sad_Angel

Hi mustangsal...isn`t it strange how our real animals can really pick up on our emotions??

My reals dogs are fast asleep but that `ol`black dog is yap,yap,yap,yap,yap,yap,yap etc etc & just won`t leave me be!!!:mad: :mad:

marrowgirl

emweaver wrote: »

does anybody here have an obsession about germs /dirt?

Nice to hear I'm not alone with my dirt phobia/depression link. Many a day I have freaked out about the dirt hiding in the cracks between the sofa cushions! However have been on the up the last 2 weeks and the dirt phobia thing seems to be lifting too. My counsellor has been marvelous -my last one was rubbish though so it pays to try to find one that's on your wavelength.

mustangsal

i know the feeling so sad angel! seems that's all my dogs done for the last while. hoping to make it out past the front door tomorrow though. gotta at least try and think positive. hope your dog shuts up soon, for a while at least. it gets pretty overwhelming. xx

redmandarin

Hi, I've been reading this thread and wanting to join you, but its been difficult to admit how I feel. Its good to know I'm not alone.

I have osteo-arthritis and its getting worse quite rapidly and the pain is really getting to me. I'm really depressed and everything is getting on top of me. I have family and other problems too and I'm worried about my future and my old age and how debilitating my arthritis will be. I've had depression before. I want to work, but I can't find a job. Working is a distraction to the pain, but it makes me so tired - I am very tired all the time, just being awake! I hardly go out at the moment because I don't feel able to. I know that I have to go to see my GP, but I've been putting it off because it feels too difficult to go. I don't drive and just the effort of going out, getting ready, the pain of walking, getting on and off buses there and back, then having to admit I have a problem (problems) when I get there and having to talk about what's wrong, feels too much for me.

I promised my partner I would ring my GP tomorrow morning for an appointment, but I really don't want to, I don't feel able to go. I keep thinking that its my life thats making me depressed, and there's not much I can do to change it and that tablets aren't the answer. I know that feelings of helplessness are part of depression, but its so hard to make myself do stuff and get the help I need. I don't want to have to take anti-depressants or become addicted to them. I can't cope with even the smallest of things at the moment, and it feels such an admission of failure to admit that I can't manage.

I'm sorry to go on, I feel like crying, letting all this out. Its not easy to admit how I feel.

mustangsal

redmandarin,you don't have to go on tablets. and don't feel alone. we've all been there. maybe your gp could recommend a counsellor. i hated the idea for ages. felt i'd be admitting my weaknesses. but it's easier to talk to a relative stranger. and it feels better just to get it all out. have you tried writing it all down? if i'm feeling overwhelmed writing it all down sometimes helps. feels like getting it all out. even if just for a while. it's a break.