Black Dog of Depression - can we help each other?

Unity

jennihen wrote: »

Thankyou LW - DS hustled me a bit about insurance but I overheard him telling his dad that he really wanted to out now in his car cos we we were likely to get snow at the weekend and he wasn't going to be driving if it was slippery! Pretty sensible! We live on a new estate with very slippery new tarmac everywhere and last year was a nightmare. We watched a peolpe carrier slide sideways past our house one morning and some lovely man who went to help the lady driver went crashing on to his back as soon as he set foot on the road. As yet no snow but a really bad frost this morning.
How was Avatar Unity and did you go to the music workshop CG? DS plays the guitar and has gigs lined up for next year!
Hope everyone else is chipper today. Keep warm and busy
JH x

Alas Jennihen I didn't get to the cinema after all, a case of the spirit being willing but the pain being stronger . I was going to see Law Abiding Citizen since I know someone who worked on the CGI - but I may get to see it yet. I haven't seen New Moon either and that is sacrilege :eek:. Avatar is pretty much down my list, but it is on it;).

I hope your chest pain eases before Christmas, is it stress? I have a tightness in my chest and pain in my right shoulder, but it could be down to either stress or the thyroxin.

I saw the boob surgeon yesterday (didn't let on to anyone I was going apart from DH) and should be starting Tamoxifen, since he gave me my first prescription at the appointment. However I need to check with my GP about reactions with other meds as I'm on quite a few - plus I understand the side-effects can be troublesome (if I'm like the rest of my family:rolleyes:) so I will start them after Yule when the house is back to just the two of us and I can moan in peace :rotfl:.

CG - thanks for explaining about the self-harming, I hope you didn't mind me asking? I'd rather ask people about things I'm not familiar with to try and understand them a bit better - with the proviso that they can always tell me to p*** off and not be so bloomin' nosey . I just wish I could wave a magic wand for everyone on here who is troubled - it would be my Yule-tide gift to you all :xmastree:

crazy_girl

jenihen- your son should be very proud of himself! driving and music wise. what kind of music does he play?

unity- in total agreement, them magic wands would be very much appreciated chez-crazy girl should they actually exist

LW- lots of cuddles for barky from you x

crazy_girl

well i went to streetwise, wish i hadnt. feel like a total and utter joke now. i got there and one of teh lads said there was a present upstairs for me, they get presents from the sally army every year. one of teh full time staff said 'theres not one for you, youre a PAID WORKER' (i get £20 a week to do the drama!) theres very little money left in teh drama pot now so i will be working for free again till a new bid gets paid so i said 'well not anymore' laughingly not moaning and she said 'well welcome to the real world!' which was a bit bloody harsh as unlike most of the other helpers i actually work so i do know the value of money! she was just so bloody harsh with me it was uncalled for and the manager didnt call her up on it, no one did. later on i asked the manager what i actually was within streetwise because the workers treat me like a service user, i dont get any of the perks of being a worker, im not invited to any of the functions the workers go to and i had to pay for my xmas dinner which workers dont have to and i have to knock to eneter the staff office like the other service users etc. she said that i was a bit of both and could use streetwise when i was in a crisis but she would also talk to teh other workers to get more resect for me from them. i just feel like a joke. i was actually pretty impressed that i managed to discuss money with her, i said that i would hold off invoicing until a new bid came through even if it meant waiting until the actual show next xmas (were doing a panto this time) and we were charging for tickets and i had to have a share of ticket revenue instead. i left feeling that i am a joke and not anything and a bit of an idiot who should just leave well alone, im too embarrassed to go to the meal next week.

another thing that got me thinking that im just a bloody bad joke to everyone was that i also work one night a month for this poetry group and last year i helped to put on the xmas night which is this sunday, 3 weeks ago i emailed the guy who runs it to ask if they wanted me to do it again this year. i never got a reply till i got an invite to the facebook event saying that another guy was doing it! ta for that.

last night was a really bad night, i ended up having 3 1/2 diazepams as i was hysterical. i went out for a drive to the place where i have been planning to drive off the road into a valley but there was a cop car and an ambulance there so i didnt, i saw loads of coppers and i still think hubby called them despite him saying he didnt.

ive been in bed all day now, i feel like crap. im supposed to be doing this xmas market tonight, ive not been able to do them in months and months without hubby and he will be with me tonight too but i dunno if i can face it.

Unity

How are you feeling today crazy-girl? I've just read your post and hope that you are better today.

I hope that everyone is okay despite the weather - we have quite a lot of snow and considering we are on a main road on the edge of the city - I hate to think what it's like three miles up the road (much more countrified) where we used to live:eek:.

There's no way we'd get the car out of our drive, so we are staying in. There's plenty to be getting on with. I've finished knitting the socks:T so I just have the hoodie to finish now. Then I've got a new sock pattern to make for myself - but first I need to put some ingredients in the bread-maker.

I had an e-mail from a friend who has been having some great results with Quetiapine (I think that was the name) and even in an e-mail he sounds loads brighter so I hope it keeps working.

Thinking of you all.
:santa2:

crazy_girl

not much better, still in bed (again!) went to the market with hubby, took a massive £22 and got so cold my feet hurt so much i could hardly walk, despite wearing 3 pairs of socks and my boots! and had a really bad experience with the wierd toilet there. everything seems to be going from crap to crapper.

i hope everyone else is ok

LameWolf

((((HUGS)))) CG you seem to be going through it just lately.

I'm bored out of my skull today; I hate Sundays.

Feel carp today too; Mr LW wanted to go to the pub last night - when we got there, one of the people already there was an awful loud-mouth who constantly shouts everyone down, and she's constantly ME, ME, ME all the time. She'd had several pints of Black Sheep, too, so she was even more unbearable than usual. I only had 2 ginger beers, and I just wanted to come home, but Mr LW was busy chatting, so had to stay put.

Sugar_Coated_Owl

Hi all, hope you don't mind me joining in. How is everyone today? I've been in bed pretty much all weekend, crying on and off I wonder why I keep battling on as I never seem to get anywhere. This isn't a life.

Pauper_Princess

razorbladekisses - hi. Recognise your name from another part of the forums from way back, can't remember the thread but do remember your username - is it from a song?

Sorry you're feeling this way - triggered by anything in particular or just everything? Christmas has to be one of the worst times of year for making you feel even worse than you do as everyone else seems to be having so much fun...

I too am beginning to struggle to see a way out at the moment. Have 2 weeks off work but even now am dreading going back, I really don't know how much longer I can do this. Am going to try the doctors this week, been wanting to go for ages but work really difficult about letting me have time off.

LameWolf - 2 ginger beers - do you want to give me some tips!!!! Got stupidly drunk the other day and did something in front of everyone from work which is gonna make it even harder to go back.

crazy_girl - sorry you're having such a crap time. My boys often have to wait till near teatime for me to get up on some weekends but they survive and are always happy to see me when I do surface :rolleyes:

Unity - I hope you manage to get to the cinema soon. Fingers crossed for you. Hope everything goes okay with the Tamoxifen x

PP xx

crazy_girl

razorbladekisses wrote: »

Hi all, hope you don't mind me joining in. How is everyone today? I've been in bed pretty much all weekend, crying on and off I wonder why I keep battling on as I never seem to get anywhere. This isn't a life.

i couldnt have put it better myself, thats exactly how i feel and youre very welcome

crazy_girl

LameWolf wrote: »

((((HUGS)))) CG you seem to be going through it just lately.

I'm bored out of my skull today; I hate Sundays.

Feel carp today too; Mr LW wanted to go to the pub last night - when we got there, one of the people already there was an awful loud-mouth who constantly shouts everyone down, and she's constantly ME, ME, ME all the time. She'd had several pints of Black Sheep, too, so she was even more unbearable than usual. I only had 2 ginger beers, and I just wanted to come home, but Mr LW was busy chatting, so had to stay put.

you did well to go

hubbys decided that we are going to a ska night on NYE, its going to be horrible, crowded, full of utterly peed-up people acting like idiots and chucking up and i just know that the loos will be minging!