Leaving Wife

Mrnidgap

Been married for 21 years but now I want to move on. No real problems except I don't love her. We have 2 children one at collage the other 12. I want to get my own place and still pay the whole mortgage on the family home. My wife works 12 hours a week and from what I have read she will go on to Income Support who will chase me for Child Support. My problem is the mortgage is £1,000 which is far more than CS but I can not afford both and my wife would not see any of the CS payments. What are the options avaiable?

whitewing

I know you won't want to hear this. I have a 12 year old. The very best option would be to learn how to love your wife again.

I'll leaves others to give you the financial info.

xxlaurissaxx

Why dont you ask her what she would rather? Say youd pay either but not both. xx

markelock

sell the house?
stick it out?

what about marraige guidance? Is there any chance of a reconciliation? Have you both spoken about it?

I feel for you, I'm sure that whatever you do, it's not going to be easy for anyone involved, and will have longstanding repercussions.

Krystaltips

It's a shame you feel this way, does your wife know how you feel? Could you maybe go to counselling?

Financially speaking, your wife could do 3 more hours a week and be a lot better off financially. If she chooses to go onto income support they will disregard the first £20 she earns then deduct the rest from the income support. She will not have to go through the CSA now, guidelines have recently changed. She will have to declare any maintanence she recieves from you and this will again be deducted from the income support.

blaque*angel

i feel sorry for the 12 year old...

pulliptears

blaque*angel wrote: »

i feel sorry for the 12 year old...

Couples split. If the OP isnt happy in his marriage the 12 year old will probably suffer more as a consequence anyway. It wont be pleasant for the kids, but it will be a damned sight better than living in a miserable home.

I applaud the OP, he appears to be considering his wife and children and her best options rather than walking out and leaving them to fend for themselves. There are not many men who do that these days.

Gingham_Ribbon

Mrnidgap wrote: »

Been married for 21 years but now I want to move on. No real problems except I don't love her. We have 2 children one at collage the other 12. I want to get my own place and still pay the whole mortgage on the family home. My wife works 12 hours a week and from what I have read she will go on to Income Support who will chase me for Child Support. My problem is the mortgage is £1,000 which is far more than CS but I can not afford both and my wife would not see any of the CS payments. What are the options avaiable?

Or you could save them the bother and decide to look after your children without the need for anyone chasing you?

Triggles

I am a bit surprised at the comments "I want to move on" and "no real problems." I'm sitting here muttering the words "midlife crisis" and wondering if your wife even has an inkling of what's going on in your head on this. To me, it just seems highly irresponsible and cruel to just say "okay - no problems here, but I don't love you anymore so that's it." I'd suggest that you go to Relate, but I'm thinking that you've left out quite a bit from the scenario anyway. I would even venture a guess that perhaps there is another party involved? Just my opinion, of course. But most people don't just opt out of a marriage with no real problems. Windup, troll, or midlife crisis, I suppose.

retrocircles

If there are no problems, what's YOUR problem?!

If it's only that you don't love her, well that can be solved by communication, marriage counselling and other methods of reconciliation.

ben500

If your marriage is over then that's for either one or both of you to decide not us, I commend you for your forward thinking attitude and willingness to accept your responsibilities, I'm sure your children will suffer as a result of the split that is inevitable but you can do your part to limit the suffering, to stay in a relationship that isn't working "for the sake of the kids" very rarely works. I've worn that t-shirt myself, I hope some will come along and provide the financial advice you have requested rather than to just pass judgement on what I'm sure is a very hard decision you have made.