Leaving Wife

ianian99

Errata wrote: »

Get yourself a caravan, park it in the drive, live in it and you'll be able to share the childcare and your costs will be minimal.

Why would he do that if he doesn't want to be there?
He could also get himself a nice new gaff and stop paying the mortgage but hes not. Get a grip woman.

Mrnidgap

You are forgetting that the children are ours the debts are ours NOT mine. I only have to pay half the debts (inc mortgage) and child support, no problem I would be a lot better off. I am no Rockerfella and money for me will be very tight. Gosh how can I increase my income! sorry on my own or with family I want that. How more responsible can I be for my actions? I want out the reason I want out is not important to this argument but am willing to give over half my income back to my wife. Or should I stay and be unhappy?

Triggles

If he's sensible, he'd talk the whole "paying the mortgage" thing over with his wife anyway. I don't know that many women that would like being in that position. If he's paying the mortgage, is he going to feel he has a right to keep keys to the house or have freedom of access to the house, even though he doesn't live there? Is he going to feel that he has the right to make decisions about the house or give approval for any changes she makes to the property (even minor changes)? Is he going to be like a landlord then - will he be responsible for repairs if needed? This type of thing can be a real landmine - which is why he would be much better off talking to his wife and then a solicitor to find out where he stands legally, as well as someone who can advise he and his wife on how it may affect any benefits claims she may make. On something like this, it just makes more sense to talk to a professional about legal advice, not a money saving website. Because it's not strictly a financial issue, is it. You also don't mention if both you and your wife are on the mortgage or just you. That makes a difference as well if she is part owner of the house, if she decides to claim any benefits, as you mentioned income support.

ben500

Has it occurred to anyone that this guy might just want to pay the mortgage out of duty rather than any ulterior motive? !!!!!! is a bloke supposed to do to be right these days, if he wasn't offering to pay the mortgage he'd be slagged off as a retrobate he elects to pay and he's a manipulator!!!
Maybe he just wants peace of mind that his family are not left wanting financialy and have the security of bricks and mortar due to his absence?

galvanizersbaby

OP - in your situation I would get mediation for financial matters - it is free - go along with your wife (this is to help plan the financial side of things only it is not for relationship counselling as you have already made a decision to separate)

If you and your wife can keep things amicable there should be no need to involve the CSA but I think you need to carefully plan out the financial side of things with her - it's not something you can do on your own and say to her 'there you are I've sorted it'

ianian99

ben500 wrote: »

Has it occurred to anyone that this guy might just want to pay the mortgage out of duty rather than any ulterior motive? !!!!!! is a bloke supposed to do to be right these days, if he wasn't offering to pay the mortgage he'd be slagged off as a retrobate he elects to pay and he's a manipulator!!!

Its only the start of it. There will be loads of bitter burds coming on giving him stick. Just a matter of time, it will be the usuall suspects too and I bet we get a fair bit of stick too!!
Cany wait:eek:

Triggles

Even if things are amicable - it's best to have it sorted legally and in writing - because while it may be amicable now - that's not a guarantee it will stay that way. That way both parties are protected.

TigersEye

My father did this to my mum, and promised her he would support her financially, she believed him because she loved him so much, he did give her money for a bit then bit by bit took away everything and now she has no money and living on pension credits. There is a lot more to her story than these few lines, but to say the fact that my father loves to stick the knife in and twist it, is no joke:(

I hope this lady gets a good lawyer and make sure she gets everything down in black and white, why should she suffer, just because her husband wants a new life, or rather the start of his midlife crisis, if he would only be honest.

Pssst

It seems to me that when a female pitches up on this site and says shes leaving her husband becuase of this that or the other the Amen corner cry hallelujah,another sister has been saved and there are cries of support and continual enquiries about how are things going etc etc..blah blah blah.

But just let one man come on here and say the same and he is condemned for abandoning his wife and responsibilities and then insulted by the suggestion that he is suffering some kind of mid life crisis.
Also the suggestion that he isnt telling all and that there must be some gymslip lolita in the background.

A man is just as entitled to independent thought word ,deed and happiness as any woman on this planet.

Sometimes a man feels that he has spent so long caring for others that he has forgotten to care for himself and live his life.
Life is too short.
I say to that man, do what you feel you have to do but dont forget your responsibilities.

hm71_2

sounds like my bloody hubby- if you had said 3 kids then I would have def thought it was him!!! my friends & I have decided that a man hits 40 and all hell lets lose- 4 of my friends whose hubbys range from 40-47 my hubby 44 are all having the same kinda problems.