I'm so embarrased. One for the ladies on here.

chopandchange

To the original poster: you are only human. Made of flesh - and blood! People will understand.

This thread is making me laugh, so although it's off the original topic I will share my own embarrassing story with you. It isn't about periods - it's about poo (so don't read on if you are eating or don't want to hear about it!)

I was volunteering in a highly remote mountain village in Transylvania, Romania and was staying in this spooky building with no toilet. The outside toilet was halfway across a field, and the village had no streetlights, so it was pitch black and scary to go out for a pee in the middle of the night, even with a torch - we're in vamipire country, remember! Added to this, I had developed a loathing of the outside toilet anyway, because it was just a well in the ground with a plank across and it was a sea of maggots down there. The smell alone made me feel sick.

So anyway, one day I got food poisoning in the middle of the night and was in agony throwing up and shivering and groaning. Then I realised I was about to have terrible, terrible diharroea as well! Where could I poo? I was in no shape to be walking across a field and was too scared to go out in the dark anyway, so what did I do?

Well, I was already being sick into a plastic bag, so I thought what the hell? and I positioned another one underneath my bum. So there I am, squatting on the floor being sick into one carrier bag and pooing liquid into another and moaning in agony, and things couldn't possibly get any worse, right? Wrong! You know those tiny holes in carrier bags? Right.

The poo was seeping through onto the floor!! (which luckily was made of wooden planks). So I grabbed some more carrier bags, and doubled them up. But it still kept coming through. I think I had about four layers of carrier bags on there in the end!

So then you are faced with the dilemma: I've pooed into a bag. What do I do with it now?

It really stank (we're talking terrible diahorrea) so I wanted it out of the place. I was terrified of someone finding out. I couldn't put it in the bin. I wasn't going out in the dark to throw it down that toilet. So I put it out on the porch and told myself I'd get up early the next morning to take it to the toilet and throw it in.

I could barely sleep all night because I had terrible visions of the Romanian landlady (who lived in the farm opposite) dicovering the poo early in the morning and opening the bag up to see what was inside!

Luckily she didn't, and I managed to stagger accross the field in the morning and throw it away. To this day no one knows except the maggots! (And now MSE).

noonesperfect

Well this thread is certainly bringing out our deepest darkest embarrassing secrets!!

All I can say is I'm glad I got home when I did today IYKWIM :rolleyes: :embarasse :rolleyes2 or there might have been another embarrassing story to tell..........

onetomany

all i got to say is if u have red blood then ur human

Paparika

Well you know ladies (sorry men but it's true)

If men were to have the curse each month, not only would it be painless now, there would be no mess, or the ST/tampon would work, won't get stuck in the cardboard.

Would be tax free, or free off the NHS,

Employers would be far more understanding about so much time off work due to being poorly.

PMT, PMS would be a thing of the past, no more sore boobs, no more swollen tums, no more water retention.


Please feel free to add to the list............

After almost 10 years the OH has started to get sympathy pains each month.
And is very understanding to the way i am / feel, and no longer does the grunt pretend to be busy with something else rather than be nice about it.

The only good thing about it is in winter when my temperature rises at night during 'the time' and we are both warm and snug whilst i do my impression of a hot water bottle

shazrobo

this thread has made me laugh so much, i have tears running down my face, thanks for sharing

LimeLight

I've just been pointed to this thread after telling someone about my friend on the bus tonight who's safe sex pack with 'durex' plstered all over it fell out of his pocket lol.

another friend, when she was 15 travelled all the way to Majorca in white jeans before finding out she had a very large red stain on her backside :rotfl:

Paparika

LimeLight wrote: »

I've just been pointed to this thread after telling someone about my friend on the bus tonight who's safe sex pack with 'durex' plstered all over it fell out of his pocket lol.

another friend, when she was 15 travelled all the way to Majorca in white jeans before finding out she had a very large red stain on her backside :rotfl:

Ohhh the poor thing, not a good age either for this to happen.

Many many years ago i leaked whilst on the bus on the way to my nan's in my cabbage white jeans, mum went mental, (she was like that, ofc it was all my fault) my nan bless her saved any more embarrassments by taking them from me and washing them, think i had to wear some dodgy dress or skirt of hers to go back home, that i could live with as long as no one i knew saw me. ( i hope they didn't)

Stephb1986_2

Chopandchange what did you do with the bag?? You couldn't of flushed it because bags can't go down! lol

Steph xx

yoni_one

Paparika wrote: »

.. my nan bless her saved any more embarrassments by taking them from me and washing them, think i had to wear some dodgy dress or skirt of hers to go back home,

Hmmmm, wear your cabbage white jeans with the blob-red crotch or wear your nans dress? ......

Oh my word, of all the cringe worthy stories on this thread, being a teenager and facing that choice was a lesson in horrible dilemma learned far too young, bless yer heart.

(hug)

mumhug

ok .......deep breath My embarrasing story happened when I was 11.I started very early and have since found out i have poly cystic ovaries, so I used to have a horrible time of it. I was just leaving school and there were kids everywhere ,I wanted to get home quick as I knew i needed to change u know whats. I was walking very quickly when I felt my tampon slip out and try as i might to walk carefully it fell out of my underware and onto the floor.
I didnt know what to do so qick decision I putmy head down and walked as fast as i could.As I got out of the gates I heard screams and squealing but I just kept going.It was talk of the school for weeks needless to say I didnt own up.