The giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread! Part 2

dotstar24

id love to try this Kudzo, but dont know about interactions with other drugs.

Pippilongstocking

dotstar24 wrote: »

id love to try this Kudzo, but dont know about interactions with other drugs.

Hiya
having read the bottle - it says it does have implications for some thing (other medication)

If you are worried pop into your local chemist and speak to the pharmacist (SP?) and ask their advice - they know about this kinda stuff - - tis their job.

And no question is a stupid question so tis always best to check.

Another AFD for me

twas hard getting back on wagon after being away and thinking Oh I can control this - cue staying with friends with groaning cupboards of alcohol. How much of it did I get through - far more than I should have. Note to self - I can't control my actions with abundant alcohol in a house so best not have the first one.

I am so not controlling anything - I like my alcohol free house - its safer.

chnelomi

HI just wanted to say thank you to everyone that replied i know that it has gotten worse because he is depressed but he refuses all help saying their is no problem. he lies about how much he drinks always saying I'm over dramatic and he only has a couple of cans. Tried to get him to see doctor but he just lied about that too.

I just don't know what to say to him to trigger the realization that their is a problem. tried using his bad example would make the kids think it normal. as well as keeping him out of our bed when he had to much. i even tried keeping his cans and piling them up in the kitchen to prove a point but no luck.(got a fair few points at tesco recycling).

really i am worried because his mother died through complications caused by a drink problem and his dad and sister are alcoholics.he may very well be depressed but i need a way for him to see sense i cannot and will not let this go on indefinitely without trying everything.my kids need to come first.
ideas please what worked for others
Please
Thankyou

budget_babe

Hi Guys, :hello:

Firstly Dear Lurky, glad to have you back mate sorry to hear that you lost sight of our waggon but hey we went around the one way system a few times and managed to pick you up again. . So put your seat belt on very tightly and we will make sure you don't lose us again. Seriously we missed you, hope the Lovely Esther is ok? Love to you both and the family. Hugs and "Asta la vista baby" well you know what I mean;) Lots a love xxxxxxx

Fay well done on clocking up 15 af days :T tell that negative voice to jolly well shut up as it knows nothing and its not very nice and yes it will be in that coal shed for a very, very long time. Say to the nice voice that you like to talk to that one more as its the sensible voice who knows that: YOU CAN STAY AF. Hugs xxxxxx
P.s Don't worry I haven't lost the plot, its dust inhalation :eek:

115k well done on another af day :T glad to hear you sounding more positive. Hugs xxxxx

Nirelandguy as Mp says well done on getting this far and stay positive. Take care and hugs xxxxx

Wbf well done on getting to 40% of your target this month, good luck for the rest of the month. Take care and hugs xxxxxx

Maz123 well done and keep that bottle hidden until the weekend which is when YOU HAVE DECIDED THAT YOU WANT TO DRINK IT. SO good luck and take care. xxxxxx

Dear Ntc Glad you have the sun with you, nice here today too? Re: this water challenge, how awful as due to cutbacks at work we have today had our: ANGEL SPRINGS WATER COOLER REMOVED :eek: I did wrestle with the guy who came to pick it up but unfortunately I lost. He left the plastic cups though So thats me scuppered. Take care and lots of love. xxxxxx

Maman glad you are feeling a little better, look after yourself and take care. xxxxxx

Winebox hugs and I hope things get better for you, well done on the aerobics though. Take care and look after yourself. xxxxxx

Chnelomi its sounds as you are having an awful time at the moment, and I am so sorry to hear this. Bhb, Nirelandguy,Bis and Fay I think has given you very good advice so I hope this has helped you? So please take care of yourself and keep posting if only to get support for yourself during this very difficult time and do try and get your husband the help he so desperately needs.God bless xxxxx

Dotstar and Stroppy hugs to you both xxxxxxx

Jo big hugs to you and I hope that you are ok tonight? Take care xxxxx

Fedup well done on your achievements this month and great to hear you are upping your target for May. Hugs xxxxxxx

Lots of love to everyone else, I must go now as I need a shower as just got in from the gym. Take care xxxxxxxx

Sorry Happy I am on 21 af days today, my gran's 93rd birthday she still lives on her own too. So take care and thanks for the scores so far. Hugs xxxxxxxx

Pippilongstocking

Just a thought Chnelomi
What if you go to the doctor yourself and talk things through?
It sounds as if you need support too - and if you can't get OH to go right now then maybe you need to go and talk things through yourself where someone will listen to you and be able to help you to cope yourself with the situation that he is depressed etc- which will help you and therefore help the kids too.

I havent been in that situation as my OH doesnt drink really very often. But I do and I know that I give him every excuse on the planet when I want to drink and I also tell him he's being overdramatic when he says to me 'wine again tonight'. Its been a godsend for me to find this thread so maybe as some ohters have suggested if you can get him to post here then great - but if not then you will get lots of support here yourself xx

So although I can be of no real help to you - it sounds as if you need some help for you - even just to talk through your concerns with someone and see if they can suggest some positive things to help you get him some help.

If that makes sense, heading off now but do take care and lets know how you get on.

Pippilongstocking

BB -hugs me dear hope the dust isnt driving you insane

I have great joy in knowing your gran is 93 - I bet she is as sharp as a new pin as well

Your remembering everyone is just mindblowing. xx

And now its 16 jumps up and down quietly as my puppy is asleep.

budget_babe

Thanks Fay and yes she is a sharp cookie She puts it down to the word searches

Anyways here you go:
:j:j:j:j:j:j:j:j:j:j:j:j:j:j:j:j
Well done :T Lots of love xxxxxxxxxxx

pariskate

chnelomi, I have no advice, sorry, just hugs and sympathy - there's lots of great advice here from wise people.
Way to go fedup - on target and planning better for next month.
Stroppy, I could have written your post and know exactly where you are coming from. I think this period of 'failing' is kind of practice for the point when the penny will finally drop and we will be able to make clear decisions about when and how much we'll drink. I'm sure that it has to be a mind thing, as much as a body thing (a bit like a boozy LBM). But rest assured you are capable when you are ready.
BudgetBabe - how do you do it, such lovely posts.
:hello: everyone else

Did anyone else see 'Drinking with the girls" on BBC3 tonight :eek::eek::eek: terrifying viewing - really appalling the level of drinking in women. Iknow they search out the extremes for these programs but even so it was still damning.

Not AF tonight - a small glass of red with dinner - but will try harder tomorrow.

nitey nite

eselt

Chelnomi- sounds like your hubby is very near crisis point, and I know its like watching a car crash for you, but its his crisis and like many drinkers he'll fend it off and not deal with it until eventually he will have to say either, 'hands up I need some help', or 'I don't need help, I'm staying the same' (although its actually getting worse). Just remember this is not your fault and only the drinker can take responsibility- although I know this is difficult when the little ones in the household are seeing him drunk, vulnerable and out of control. He sounds very depressed to me- he's had a few shocks and your family must be under a lot of strain. GP's are a good place to start- I asked mine not to record our appointments about alcohol on the system and he agreed, just putting, 'Attended clinic' down- although further along the line, obviously my hospital visits and referrals to alcohol services were recorded. Bis, I am very suspicious of the data held about us too- a friend of mines husband was turned down by DVLA for a heavy goods licence because they approached his GP for records and alcohol treatment was on there in the last 12 months before his application. Hes got to wait another year before he can reapply. However, its important to realise that alcoholism is a very dangerous disease and needs treatment, and if the only way to access that treatment is by seeing GP's etc I think its worth it. Bit of a dilemma I know. Good luck with it, keep posting and hopefully some of our experiences might help and give you some hope- take care.

Jo you asked about my kudzo being in drops (ages ago!)- mines in 'tincture', as is my milk thistle which means its alcohol based which seems a bit weird, but it doesn't seem to trigger any cravings. I put drops in my water for work and sip throughout the day- might get some tablets they seem more manageable?

Hope everyone is good tonight- just watching a programme on a young girl who is 30 stone!!! Shes only a teenager dear of her- but I suppose we all have our addictions?

Bismarck

thanks eselt....I can only speak from my own journey and I was fortunate enough not to need to do anything medical - I believe we all have our own "best" way of moving forward, the trouble is trying them in the right order.

The signs are all there, as you know, and I was giving off signs in my own way long before I stopped I can look back may years for the seeds of it that were there before anything that would seem to be the cause to anyone looking on...so it can be a cumulative thing.

But, to the task in hand. You are putting your kids first which is very important

You need to overcome the denial and get through the armour with the simple decision he has to make: the drink or the family.

It gets harder in that you then have to help him believe that there is a way back from this.

Once your cover is blown and you "come out" and admit whatever you admit to, you feel stripped and very insecure and you have to hold onto something - your part in this is to hold the ship steady while he gets himself together again. This may well be where you need external help and it would be wrong for me to say /surmise too much but the drinking will not stop if it does all seem hopeless.

My phrase at the time was something like "what's the point in trying if I'm just going to get another kicking" - when you feel like he probably does, it is very easy to focus on the damage you've done on all the levels and the loss of self-esteem and the fact that you may be forgiven but "it" won't be forgotten - he has a choice effectively - live and try and make amends, or not.

If its the latter, plan your exit for our own sake. And your childrens.

Please keep on the thread for support and see your GP.

Take care, I'll be thinking of you.