The giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread! Part 2

Pippilongstocking

Sorry BB bet you wished you hadn't asked now!!

Sea78

Hi all

Hugs to you fayjmck.

If I could go back and change anything....I wouldn't. Everything that has happened, from the very good to the utterly horrendous, including losing people dear to me, has happened for a reason and I wouldn't be me if they hadn't. That isn't to say that I wish to repeat things I've done - such as the way I've treated people, or allowed myself to be treated.

I had another AFD yesterday so that's 10 for me now (looking for another one tonight ).

Sea xxxxxx

Pippilongstocking

Waving Sea - I think you have the right attitude!! xxxx

budget_babe

fayjmck wrote: »

Sorry BB bet you wished you hadn't asked now!!

Dear Fay,

Hugs to you, I can relate to what you say, my wish is that I would have had a better childhood. its was quite awful really. I am so pleased that in spite of it I have turned out to be: ok?

That is why my son is my life, I have adored him since the day I found out I was having him. Now that may sound corny but its true.

I have brought him up to be confident and to always try to attain whatever he wishes. I have given him love and support, (so has my husband). In fact all the things I never had. In fairness to my husband he has always taken care of us both and does put us both first. When my son got his first class degree I was and am so proud, because believe me its a million miles away from my past and the people who felt sorry for me. Pity when you are younger is a bitter pill to swallow and sadly it stays with you. My son lights up my world and not only is he bright but he is a good person with integrity and compassion. Poor Mr Budgie at times has come second best, but I do know that he loves me, which is what I am now appreciating.

I am pleased not to have made the mistakes my parents have. Though as a child you are shaped so much, and I have to bear the constant worrying that I have, and at times such lack of self confidence. Though everyone who know me sees me as someone who is in control and confident. My past is filled with regret as a child, and I think that even though many years have past that I have some inner healing to do still.

Though I agree with Sea and Fedup etc that you become the person you are because of what happens to you in your life. I certainly am a very compassionate person and caring. So that is a good thing that has happened out of times that were bad.

Hey bet your glad I've replied now
Lots love Angel xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Ps sorry didn't mean to be so deep xxxxxxxxxxx
Its funny sometimes what comes out when you least expect it, glad I'm sober though or I could get very maudling.
Guess we all have a price to pay in some way or another?

115K

I'm not sure I would change anything.... I dunno. I do seem to make the same mistakes over and over anyway so I'm not sure changing anything would have done me any good.:rolleyes:

I am on AF day 5 finally!!!! Only 5 out of 14 that's not very good. I keep clockwatching thinking that I could go to the offy now but I am pretty sure that I won't give in. This day and evening has seemed so long.:mad:

Happy belated birthday to Maman.

Hope you are all okay.:A

Pippilongstocking

budget_babe wrote: »

Dear Fay,

Hugs to you, I can relate to what you say, my wish is that I would have had a better childhood. its was quite awful really. I am so pleased that in spite of it I have turned out to be: ok?

That is why my son is my life, I have adored him since the day I found out I was having him. Now that may sound corny but its true.

I have brought him up to be confident and to always try to attain whatever he wishes. I have given him love and support, (so has my husband). In fact all the things I never had. In fairness to my husband he has always taken care of us both and does put us both first. When my son got his first class degree I was and am so proud, because believe me its a million miles away from my past and the people who felt sorry for me. Pity when you are younger is a bitter pill to swallow and sadly it stays with you. My son lights up my world and not only is he bright but he is a good person with integrity and compassion. Poor Mr Budgie at times has come second best, but I do know that he loves me, which is what I am now appreciating.

I am pleased not to have made the mistakes my parents have. Though as a child you are shaped so much, and I have to bear the constant worrying that I have, and at times such lack of self confidence. Though everyone who know me sees me as someone who is in control and confident. My past is filled with regret as a child, and I think that even though many years have past that I have some inner healing to do still.

Though I agree with Sea and Fedup etc that you become the person you are because of what happens to you in your life. I certainly am a very compassionate person and caring. So that is a good thing that has happened out of times that were bad.

Hey bet your glad I've replied now
Lots love Angel xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Ps sorry didn't mean to be so deep xxxxxxxxxxx
Its funny sometimes what comes out when you least expect it, glad I'm sober though or I could get very maudling.
Guess we all have a price to pay in some way or another?

HI BB

Lots of what you say is really true here as well - would I throw my all into parenting if I experienced a different childhood - I don't know - perhaps the experiences have made us more determined somehow.
I often wonder when I think about it all how terribly sad life was that my mother didn't experience that absolute joy when she had a child (She has 4 lol) - I guess we are all different.

I know what you mean about being so pround - both my two are intelligent, thoughtful and caring (when not murdering each other) little people very talented and I love being with them.

I think the inner child in me screams out some times I get so blazingly angry at life- I am the oldest of 4 and therefore had to I guess take on the mother role when wee - very badly I hasten to add!!

thanks for the hugs - sitting here counting down the clock until its too late to be gotten by those dreadful wine monsters.

Working instead and its so horrible outside I think I keep telling myself I certainly don't want to go out in it.

ta for the angel thoughts xx

Pippilongstocking

Woo hoo
AFD no 11 hurrah. xx

Hope you are all good!! x

budget_babe

fayjmck wrote: »

Woo hoo
AFD no 11 hurrah. xx

Hope you are all good!! x

Well done you :T

I have read your previous post and yes I agree that perhaps the experiences we had as children have made us more determined to do our best as parents.

(My Avvie is a little bit of comfort). It was only at Christmas just gone that my son bought me a Paddington Bear I had always wanted one as a child.

On my epitaph will read: "She was a good mother" I stood at my mother in laws funeral 18 months ago. My husband had always had a difficult relationship with her and as a result we were not close. It occured to me that when I do pass on, that I want my son to stand at my grave and mourn my loss.

I always read with interest Grahame Carters posts and changing oneself, as he says that drink is not the problem but it is ourselves who are.

I guess I'm just in a deep mood today?

Don't know why?
But so well done on another af day :j
Lots of love and take care of YOU xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Bismarck

To change one thing in the past....some things would change so many others

BUT not having the first drink....it's not even in the picture.

there are so many wonderful things that I'm glad have happened that would not have happened if the far past were changed....it's tricky....so basically if I could change one thing in isolation it would be something that helped someone else out and made their lives better....I wouldn't want to risk tampering with some of the past that directly affects me. Of course there are some things I'd like to change anout my life now but I'm working on that so feel that using a "wish" for myself would be selfish when there are so many others that could benefit.

so there you go....I will look back at some things and think that I made some really off-the-wall decisions that I would make completely differently now but then again...my gut instinct was pretty good so even though the rationale woudl be different, the outcome would have been similar.

crikey it's easy to ramble on this kind of things.

take care everyone...

maman

Very deep and a lot of soul searching going on here today. It's hard to change just one thing in isolation as, for example, if I wished (and I so do!!!) that I'd met my darling OH first and never met my ex then I wouldn't have my wonderful DD.

So I'm not dwelling on that. I'm facing the here and now. I have a good life but I'd got into the habit of drinking every day. I was enjoying it hugely but I don't enjoy the extra calories and I'm a bit scared of the health issues (note priorities here:o ) So, onwards and upwards.

Out to lunch tomorrow then back on the wagon on Monday. Well done angels :A and the hangers on (or should that be hangers in) like me!