The giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread! Part 2

RecoveringAlcoholic

Welcome newbies. Be aware that this is a very fast moving thread!

Guess that it is an appropriate time to post my personal experiences.
I lost my marriage, family, house, job and health,
I now do unpaid voluntary work.

Alcohol can and does wreck lives.

Remember that we deal with alcohol,
cunning, baffling, powerful!

barshamhillbilly

RecoveringAlcoholic wrote: »

Welcome newbies. Be aware that this is a very fast moving thread!

Guess that it is an appropriate time to post my personal experiences.
I lost my marriage, family, house, job and health,
I now do unpaid voluntary work.

Alcohol can and does wreck lives.

Remember that we deal with alcohol,
cunning, baffling, powerful!

Thanks mate ..... puts it all in perspective ...

There but for the grace of god .... or luck

the_rugby_coach

Evening all...a few feisty messages again tonight

Not AF tonight. My bank has agreed to pay me my credit card charges back with interest :j The letter said I am a valued customer, so maybe they've worked out that I haven't missed too many payments over the years therefore returning nearly £400 is better than losing me altogether

But I've had one beer and two large glasses of wine, and I've stopped. Before christmas that would have been 2, maybe three beers and a bottle of wine, or possibly more, so Lukios AFJ has helped me a lot.

Which brings me to the feisty messages...

I am able to read GC's words for what they are and not take them personally, but if I stand back and analyse them I think he is tarring everyone with the same brush. Some people seem to be finding the AF thing very easy (i.e. they have been 100% successful) - that might be because they are, or it might be because this thread is giving them the impetus they need. I would say anyone who has got close to target can't be alcoholic. How many alcoholics can just give up and not have any failures along the way?

The people that haven't got so close to target haven't necessarily failed GC. Just cos a day isn't AF doesn't mean to say peeps have got pi**ed!! I am not doing so well in Feb. 2/6. But on one of those days I only had one pint and on only one night have I had what I would call a lot of drink. And believe me that was probably half of what i used to get through of an evening.

So I will say this.

I am not an alcoholic. I feared I might be before I found this thread, but this thread has made me realise I am not. I am realigning myself which will take time. I'm certainly up for March, and probably April. There is still work to do.

GC - keep posting, but give people a break. I must also say I don't really understand what it is that you get from this thread if you are, cured, so to speak?

Bestest,

TRC

the_rugby_coach

Sorry Lukio, maybe that second glass of wine was a bad idea afterall


TRC

mollypolly

:shhh:
Please dont anyone leave....I love you all.
Couldnt do this without you.
Take care of you.
Love Mollypollyxxxx

maman

I thought long and hard about taking the bait from GC last night but, on reflection, I'm glad I did. As I have the lowest target of anyone on here I had been feeling a bit of a lightweight. I joined because the 'cutting down' part of the thread appealed as I thought it would help me to keep to my New Year's Resolution.

When I read the heart-wrenching stories from some of you I realised that I've never been to those dark places. I was having a great time BUT...

I knew I was drinking well over the units the media keep ramming down our throats (or rather that I was pouring down mine!). I knew I had put on extra weight and drinking every night was my only lifestyle change. I was embarassed when 15 bottles of wine went through the checkout every week (for me and OH) and the cashier kept asking if she could come to the party.

That's why I joined and tonight's posts have convinced me that there are many others who had also got into very similar habits and for their own reasons want to cut down. So I'm going to stick with the thread because I find it very supportive. If GC must keep trying to tell us we're all alcoholics, and that helps him then so be it, it doesn't help me but I'm not going to let it wind me up or bite again.

Tonight I have been out to supper and to a show. I have had a sensible amount of wine and enjoyed it!!! Have a good weekend everyone whether your poison be chocolate or jelly beans or decaff!

P.S. GC, nothing personal, I admire what you've achieved but as Lurky said we're all different.

graemecarter

the_rugby_coach wrote: »

Evening all...a few feisty messages again tonight

Not AF tonight. My bank has agreed to pay me my credit card charges back with interest :j The letter said I am a valued customer, so maybe they've worked out that I haven't missed too many payments over the years therefore returning nearly £400 is better than losing me altogether

But I've had one beer and two large glasses of wine, and I've stopped. Before christmas that would have been 2, maybe three beers and a bottle of wine, or possibly more, so Lukios AFJ has helped me a lot.

Which brings me to the feisty messages...

I am able to read GC's words for what they are and not take them personally, but if I stand back and analyse them I think he is tarring everyone with the same brush. Some people seem to be finding the AF thing very easy (i.e. they have been 100% successful) - that might be because they are, or it might be because this thread is giving them the impetus they need. I would say anyone who has got close to target can't be alcoholic. How many alcoholics can just give up and not have any failures along the way?

The people that haven't got so close to target haven't necessarily failed GC. Just cos a day isn't AF doesn't mean to say peeps have got pi**ed!! I am not doing so well in Feb. 2/6. But on one of those days I only had one pint and on only one night have I had what I would call a lot of drink. And believe me that was probably half of what i used to get through of an evening.

So I will say this.

I am not an alcoholic. I feared I might be before I found this thread, but this thread has made me realise I am not. I am realigning myself which will take time. I'm certainly up for March, and probably April. There is still work to do.

GC - keep posting, but give people a break. I must also say I don't really understand what it is that you get from this thread if you are, cured, so to speak?

Bestest,

TRC

I am never cured from the illness. I just don't drink.
If I start drinking again, I will never go back to being a normal drinker (not that I ever was one:rotfl:)

Not everyone on this thread is alcoholic - I never said that, or if I did, I never meant it. However, I believe some people deep deep down recognise that they maybe alcoholic and thus take great offence to the term.
I have never named anyone in person, so please don't assume I am talking to any individual

The 'alcoholic' word is very upsetting to many people. They would rather be shopaholics or workaholics, which are 2 destructive illnesses too.
But not alcoholic.
It's all semantics - substitute 'alcoholic' for 'problem drinker' if it makes you feel better. Or say that you 'abuse alcohol' occasionally.

I am very happy for people to cut down - that is great.
My worry is that people will try and cut down, but not stay cut down (some of you will however) and then go back to usual consumption. Total honesty is key here. Honesty with yourself

I want people to succeed, as I don't want people to go to the depths I went to. I just care about you lot, even though I don't know you.
And blaming me for leaving the thread is a bit silly and childish really. Though if it makes you feel better and keeps you off the booze, you can throw as much !!!!!! at me as you like. :T

graemecarter

maman wrote: »

P.S. GC, nothing personal, I admire what you've achieved but as Lurky said we're all different.

Thanks maman, we are all different, of course.

We do have a shared commonality, and that is out of control drinking.
And we need to support to stop it.
That's what we share, and that binds us together

stereosteve

Hi everyone,

Firstly, what a great site. I've lurked here for a while after first logging on to find out about savings and have since learned more than I think I ever would have elsewhere. Then I found this thread and it has turned me into a poster...

In a nutshell, I'm in trouble and I don't know what to do. A couple of years ago I got a great new job a couple of hundred miles away from my then-home. I'm 27 and I never expected to be as far advanced in my career as I am now, which is great, but the pressure is weighing heavily on my shoulders.

When I was living back home, I had a great group of friends, a beautiful girlfriend and my close family living near me. Now I've moved, I work long hours under a lot of pressure and am too tired when I finish to do anything else than go to the gym for an hour then get home and drink. I travel abroad a lot and so can't get back to see them much either.

I never thought it was a problem, but I've realised that I've stopped talking to my friends and family because I'm either at work or too drunk to make any sense. I'm a private person and no-one knows what I do away from work, so my friends think I'm being ignorant and have rightly got fed up of me not returning their calls. Now I just get home, ignore my phone and drink until I pass out.

To top it off, I found out that I've got to have a series of operations this year and the anxiety about that is making me drink even more. I'm lonely and scared that I'm starting to lose everything.

I don't want to whinge because I have read so many truly heartbreaking stories on here of people in financial, emotional and physical turmoil that make mine seem insignificant, but I feel like there's no way of getting myself back on track.

Sorry to waffle on, I just needed to get this off my chest and see if any of you wonderful people have any advice?

Needstochange

Hi Stereosteve and welcome to the motley crew:D I am not particularly good at advice but I would say well done on taking the first step in accepting you are unhappy with your drinking, I think thats the hardest bit. Could you join in with the february challenge maybe and set yourself a small target to start with 1 or 2 alcohol free days to get you on the ladder? I guess there is always a reason behind why we drink to much and it sounds like your life is quite lonely atm. Could you take a few days off work and go back home for a bit to set your goals? I bet your friends would be good support to you. Good luck on your journey and there will always be a friendly ear here

4/28 please Ms Box

Off to a very posh hotel tonight so will be using up one of my spare days but at the prices they charge I will be taking it very easy:D Have a great weekend all and will catch up tomorrow.