Re: Lodger...Wrong Choice? Help Please

Catblue

He KNOWS that you want him out and is avoiding you in the meantime in the hope that you come around.

You've done the right thing with the letter on the door. He must be expecting you to ask him to leave, so it may not even lead to an argument of any type.

Try to avoid him for the next couple of days and whatever you do, do not get into an argument with him.

sarahs999

I wonder why he wants to stay there with such a bad atmosphere in the house? Are you charging super-low rent or something?

Amy78

I would like to clarify that i do not create the bad atmosphere in the flat!
when i tell him hi or hello he does not even reply and just ignore me, I Am not the cause of the bad atmosphere here.
Maybe he likes the flat and the fact he could walk all over me as i am soft. and the fact that if he pays bills and rent late i say nothing as i dont want arguments.
or the fact he still brought his GF every evening even if i disagreed with it and told him he still did it as he though i would not ask him to leave. i just dont know why he stays, i presume he is fine then.

yeah i was hoping he would look somewhere else while i was away but he did not.
it is clear he is avoiding as not happy with the fact i talked to him before i went on holidays.
it is normal average rent the amount is the same as other people in the area
maybe he likes the fact he does not need to clean as if he does not he knows i will or i don't know why ? and i will not ask him to be honest
i think Catblue is right, he is avoiding me as he knows i want him out and he hopes that i will change mind and accept all his conditions, no cleaning and GF there every evening. well i dont think so. This was not the deal to we had before he moved in and i am exactly in the situation i was trying to avoid
i live with a couple and i feel it is me who is renting and should stay in my room which i do as an idiot. so now him his stuff and GF out

neas

why do you care if we think you made a bad atmosphere..

Like to add, one person cant make a bad atmosphere... a bad atmopshere grows.. when two people dont 'click'... they annoy one another. From his side you were probably 'too naggy' for him. and he was all the things you've said about him.


Theres no love lost between you.. and obviously he is delaying the inevtiable.

Altho as i said before bit confused why you left a stranger in your house over xmas who you think would be violent and aggressive...... and dont trust...

Boggles me mind lol :P If he avoids you.. jus wake up at 4am.. band on his door and tell him to get out of your house.

before_hollywood

Amy78 wrote: »

officially at her parents

that makes sense, bf is 35 and the parents dont like him- so in the absence of anywhere else to go you've got her as well.

some charge more and allow couples in the same room

Amy78

well i did not feel to ask him to leave 5 days before christmas and look like an evil witch when i am not and to let him in the !!!! during that joyfull season
i know she stayed in the flat when i was not there as my neighbour said it but i was not there so did not affect me and except the place being dirty nothing was damaged
maybe i care too much about what people think

now christmas is over and with a month notice he should be able to find something easily so it is now or never to do it
and i wont justify why i want him out

if he thinks i am too naggy well sad cos appart from telling him on the add it was mentioned no couple that is the only thing i said
it was on the add he knew it as repeated when he visited and still did not care so i wont adapt to his way as he hopes

No couple means no couple :rotfl: so if they can not be appart maybe they should rent a flat together instead of him renting a room and her being there all the time

well letter will be on the door tonight and i can not wait february now
1st time i have a problem i had a lodger before and we never had 1 problem in 2 years.
his GF was coming from time to time but never like the way this guy does not every evening

beaujolais-nouveau

kessik wrote: »

Do you know what, I've read through this thread and I'm not convinced this situation is for real now either.

Nor am I.

kessik wrote: »

Amy ... seems to be finding lots of reasons now not to evict him. I would be scared witless, and feel a real cow to boot at the thought of throwing a lodger out but for my own self-preservation I'd force myself. Especially if the situation is as bad as Amy says. Plus I think I would've gone to my folks and friends for help nd moral support first before I started emailing on a forum.

Ditto.

Something doesn't stack up. Amy didn't throw him out before Christmas, because of Christmas, but has now given him nearly a month's notice to quit.

Do you know what - I don't believe this lodger actually exists. Amy does not have a lodger at all.

Amy78

i have a lodger
though i do things nicely fair enough i admit i am too soft
but do you throw someone's out like that???
specially when you do even know how he will react???
i want him out just did not know how to do to get him out
maybe it is simple for you but not for me as i dont want to have arguments with someone i dont really know and dont know how he will react as no matter what you say he shouts
so i did not know how to tell him not and not to be honest i dont care how he takes it. Christmas is over and happy or not he has to go simple as that
and tonight he will get the letter
he paid for the month of January so normally he has the right to a month notice. i give him less as today is the 6th and i ask him to be out by 31/01/09 or 01/02/09.

beaujolais-nouveau

Amy78 wrote: »

i have a lodger
though i do things nicely fair enough i admit i am too soft
but do you throw someone's out like that???
specially when you do even know how he will react???
i want him out just did not know how to do to get him out
maybe it is simple for you but not for me as i dont want to have arguments with someone i dont really know and dont know how he will react as no matter what you say he shouts
so i did not know how to tell him not and not to be honest i dont care how he takes it. Christmas is over and happy or not he has to go simple as that
and tonight he will get the letter
he paid for the month of January so normally he has the right to a month notice. i give him less as today is the 6th and i ask him to be out by 31/01/09 or 01/02/09.

You keep repeating that you didn't know how to get him out but loads of people here told you how to get him out. People said: write a letter, have a friend with you, change the locks, put his belongings out on the street, etc etc. People asked you what is stated in the tenancy agreement but you didn't answer that. Whatever, as a lodger he doesn't actually have any "rights", practically speaking. You say he has paid for January - well, you can give it him back , all but six days' worth, and be rid of him this evening. But you won't, for some - to me - bizarre reason.

If a lodger treated me with so little respect (as you have described) in my own house - and scared me, too - he (or she) would be out so fast his/her feet would not touch the ground. There's no virtue in being "soft", nothing to be proud of, when that means being a doormat.

Amy78

well i am still waiting for him to sign the lease he still has not. it is on the table for the past few months and he has not sign it.
well other people told me to give me a month notice so he would not complain
to be honest i already fear an argument with asking him to leave with a month notice so if i ask him to leave straightaway i would be even more scared of the way he will react.
dont think he would hit me but shout all the time and insult me yes that he would do
i just think he might be softer with a month notice
i dont want to make too angry as i am in the flat too
regarding the locks i already have spare locks with keys i will change both