Things they don't tell you about being a single mother

whitewing

I agree with all of the original post, except that it does get better.

It is really, really hard being a single mum (and I didn't even have MSE at the time).

But there is a magic moment out there at some point in your future when you can think I am perfectly happy as I am today. That moment is out there for everybody. (My magic moment came in August when I married my husband; six years of being a single parent before he came along, and he is a true treasure.)

buxtonrabbitgreen

KThe worst time for me as a single parent was christmas (he left in October) walking round the town with no money (20 years ago one didn't have credidt cards) and seeing all the happy couples with thier parcles and kids,. and feeling sad and inadequate.
But they probably were not as happy as I thought and things did get better. I was a single parent for 10 years and coped very well.
It gave me great pleasure teaching myself how to wire a plug and mend a window frame etc. Then I started thinking well, I didn't really need him and all the arguments.

JoJoB

Hats off to single parents.

I am not a single parent and have much support.... and yet still feel exhausted, emotional, lonely, worried, inadequate, judged etc. Sometimes I have to really dig deep to keep things together but always am aware of how lucky I really am and how I would have to discover much deeper reserves of strength If I were doing this alone.

I am in awe of you all!

annie_d

Just to say.....it really does get better, honestly

mspig

When it was just me and my eldest before i met my hubby i used to love being a single mum - i was soooo much skinnier(as i wanted to stay attractive just in case mr right came along), i could do what i wanted when i wanted(i sometimes just took of for the weekend with the little one), noone to moan with.

I didn't have the ex probs as such as there was(still is) a court order in place that he wasen;t allowed any contact with my son so i had no disagreements with him etc, and he has never to this day paid a penny towards him(but i prefer it that way).

I used to have girly nights in and somenights we used to chat(nearly all night).

Don't get me wrong i love being married - i just also enjoyed the time i was a single parent.

98sidney

Hi Op.. You are not alone you can see this by reading this thread, but we are still here and getting on with it. Yes we have bad days, but after a while you adjust and start to enjoy being a single parent and see the advantages of being on your own..

Have you visited the Bad mothers thread on here, you could talk to other mums on there..

There is also some home jobs that have been posted on this site, which you might be able to do and they are not scams..

As a single parent you are entitled to free open uni courses I am on my 2nd course and loving it, and you can do it at home..

The idea of having a girlie night with another mum works really well. have done this with my friends as well as a new years eve party.. Except we had two midnights we changed the clocks so kids midnight was at 10pm, then me and my mate had ours as normal..

As for exs mine defo inlcuded they hate it when you carry on without them and not fall to pieces thats the best revenge..

And when you have a bad day be proud of yourself as you are doing two peoples job..

Everybody on this site will be with you and this site is great for picking up freebies or cheap xmas presents or saving ideas so you are in good company..

PM your address and I will send you a christmas card too..

Pssst

I wonder why mothers always take the kids and let the guys get off scot free? I know its natural but wouldnt they get a shock if you said,hey heres your son/daughter....byeee let me know when i can have access.

98sidney

Funny you should say that as I have often said to my ex right I have done the first 10 years now you do the rest..

I think its because we know that are exes would be no good, I know if mine had £5 in his pocket and had to feed them or buy sweets for himself which one he would do. Also know he would never pay for a sch trip or go extra tighter on the food budget just because you have spotted a pressie which is ideal for your son, and is on offer I have done that a few times..

What is sad though is there is dads who want to see their kids but get refused by the mother..

julie2710

This has really made me think although I am seeing the + s more than the downs at the moment. It's early days for me - became a single parent 15 weeks ago when I found my husband was having an affair. That was 3 weeks before the birth of DS2 - DS1 is 3, so have had my hands fairly full but am relishing the goodtimes and getting through the wobbles.
Am still on mat leave and have a full time job which I will now have to go back to in Feb - 18 weeks after birth - as I am getting no real financial support am paying all the bilss and mortgage myself. Ex has given me 200 quid in those 15 weeks and has bought nothing for new DS!!!
But you know what?........................It's me who gets the smiles, sees the firsts, gets the hugs and kisses and will in the long run get the thanks from hopefully well balanced and decent loving sons!
Here's to me and my boys:T :beer:

nearlyrich

julie2710 wrote: »

This has really made me think although I am seeing the + s more than the downs at the moment. It's early days for me - became a single parent 15 weeks ago when I found my husband was having an affair. That was 3 weeks before the birth of DS2 - DS1 is 3, so have had my hands fairly full but am relishing the goodtimes and getting through the wobbles.
Am still on mat leave and have a full time job which I will now have to go back to in Feb - 18 weeks after birth - as I am getting no real financial support am paying all the bilss and mortgage myself. Ex has given me 200 quid in those 15 weeks and has bought nothing for new DS!!!
But you know what?........................It's me who gets the smiles, sees the firsts, gets the hugs and kisses and will in the long run get the thanks from hopefully well balanced and decent loving sons!
Here's to me and my boys:T :beer:

Been there too, caught my ex out just 7 weeks before number two was born, DS was 17 months so it wasn't easy but now they are 21 and 23 and things are good.

It's not easy even with a lot of support but it's so worth it.