MONEY MORAL DILEMMA: Should the twins get the same value presents?

NatFeerick

I think £100 is far too much to spend on a 10yr old's Christmas present, so perhaps the greedy twin should be told this is too big a thing to ask for and she should choose something more moderately priced. £60 is more than adequate for something which is likely to get broken or abandoned before too much time has passed. At 10 they are old enough to be taught the value of money and, like Ericthecat, when I was young I was encouraged to make a list of things I would like that my parents/Santa would choose from. Not only does this enable parents to buy according to available funds, but the present remains a surprise until that magical moment when the paper is ripped off on Christmas morning. My parents never shied away from saying 'that's a bit expensive' or 'you mustn't be greedy' - because they always lived within their means and never lived on credit. Cash is King!

gill_81uk

I think that the value is irrelevent, as long as both get what they have asked for they will both be happy.

My parents always made sure that we had the same number of presents to open - we would have felt life very unfair if one had an extra present to the other! - but we were totally unaware of value.

It would definitely even out over the years as well depending on what we had asked for.

deefadog

Money's irrelevant, if they are lucky enough to get what they choose, within your budget, then all's good! End of!

In the last 10 years, with my own children and nieces etc, never have i heard them saying to their brother or sister, "that's not fair theirs cost more than mine"

Would you add up all the gifts, school trips, clothes they get until they are 18 and then cash up to make it even? i think not

Happy Xmas :beer:

Edit - both me gill_81uk, posted similar at the same time

RedSpecs

Forgive me, but the last few posts here have made the most sense. Those of you obsessing over the matching of monetary values of presents are only headed for disaster and a bunch of spoiled little brats who always will expect to get what they want. When you aren't in a position to provide that one day, their spite will know no bounds.

Yes, children may get a bit upset, but that's now we learn life's lessons. It won't scar them for life, but pandering to their every desire most certainly will.

When I was a kid I was grateful for what I got cos I knew my parents didn't have a pot to p*** in and did their best. The spoilt little brats of today don't know they're born.

amiga1

As this is a money saving site I'd buy them both roller skates and save myself £60!

Adimac_2

I have non identical twins and we're trying very hard to make sure they get similiar numbers of presents of similar sizes and of similar value so there can't be any arguments.

I would feel terrible in myself if we were to give one more than the other as I would know the values were different and would feel a bias towards one or the other. It's bad enough that when they were born my son was in an incubator for the 1st week so I bonded really well my my daughter but my wife bonded with my son really well so there's already a little bit of favouritism (much as I hate it) but neither parent wants the children to ever really know about it.

queenv_2

never_enough wrote: »

If the parents can afford it give them both what they asked for. There's no need to buy extra for one to make it up to the same cash value as the other. They both get what they wanted for Christmas, which is the main thing.

Yes bt when they are older they will remember this!!! I have a brother who seemed to not get as much as greedy little me and we are now both in out 30's and he remembers it very well, so much so he thought he was not loved as much. As adults we know money doesn't count for presents but to children it does

Chef1980uk

We're expecting identical twins and whilst my wife wants them to have exactly the same OF EVERYTHING lol i'm not too fussed. In this scenario i would give them what they both asked for (if funds allowed) but would have the outset mind that they get the same spent. So to make sure that was the case i would probably spread the remaining £60 over time until their birthdays came along for example, or if that wasn't possible i would hint towards birthday presents in the hope that the £40 child got a better birthday present.

In my ideal world though, the £40 child would just come to an extra Arsenal game with me

malcolmjamesoliver

I have twins girls and another daughter.

I firmly believe that, within reason, the value of the gifts is not important. In fact, it is not important at all. Giving them what they want, within a budget is important.

Who cares if you spend more on one than the other. If they notice and raise it as an issue I would be appalled at my parenting skills -clearly I would have failed as a parent.

As long as their piles of gifts looks similar, so it takes an equal time to open them all, everyone is happy.

Of course, if they do not ask for anything in particular, it is human nature to set a budget and spend roughly the same amount on each. However, this is not the moral dilemma.

God help us all if we care about such things.

By all means treat children equally as children, but do not equate this treatment to a monetary value.

spacemonkers

lauranurse wrote: »

Im a twin too, and I disagree with the people who said the value doesnt matter - when you are 10 it does!

My parents always gave us the same value presents, not always what we wanted if that was too expensive but it was always equal and fair.

I think a ten year old who sees that her sister has been giving more than double the value of presents might start wondering if her parent's prefer her sister to her! I know it sounds silly, but when you are that age you dont really understand things in the same way.

Having said that, Im a lot older than 10 now, and I think I would still be a bit miffed if my Mum spent a lot more on my sister than me!

Siblings will always be jealous of each other, you dont really want to do anything that will make it worse, and possibly cause them to damage their relationship irrepairably!

You sound very insecure with your sister, you sure you are not still 10!!