MONEY MORAL DILEMMA: Should the twins get the same value presents?

robpw2

ericthecat wrote: »

I would give each of them about the same value gifts, but not necessarily what they are asking for - when I was growing up, it was very clear that you made suggestions of what you wanted, not absolute demands. This is gift *giving*, not ordering from a catalogue! I don't want my children growing up thinking they can get exactly what you want regardless of the amount of debt they get into.... sound familiar anyone?

yes i agree with this but it seems to a lot of people it is now ordering and parents providing

Ebenezer_Screwj

The parents might try explaining to their daughters the true meaning of Christmas and the twins should accept whatever presents their parents can afford with good grace. They might consider a couple of dictionaries so that the girls can look up the word "recession"

robpw2

Ebenezer_Screwj wrote: »

The parents might try explaining to their daughters the true meaning of Christmas and the twins should accept whatever presents their parents can afford with good grace. They might consider a couple of dictionaries so that the girls can look up the word "recession"

what a great idea ....

TIGs

My kids aren't twins but i always spend the same on them both, as close to the penny as possible.
Where as i am a twin and my mum always even now at 38 gives us both exactally the same value in gifts even if it means making it up in cash.

aliasojo

jackieblack wrote: »

I completely disagree.:mad:

Lol, me too.......but I dont think it required an inflammatory angry smilie though. :rotfl:

purplegaily

I have twin boys who are just 2 this year.

They are getting a stocking full of Santa toys each, and we have bought them a double sided easel with paper, pens and chalk for their 'big' present. It's a joint present (this year) as they can both use it together - we can hope!!

We have also bought them a £10 wooden train set and a £5 beads on a wire frame thingy (the type found in dentists waiting rooms). They will both get a pakage to unwrap, but will play with both.

At this age, its not important that the prices match as both will play with each toy, and given 5 minutes will not remember who opened what, but later on, we will need to ensure fairness, and that the child asking for the expensive present doesn't start to see this as an opportunity to get more out of Mum & Dad.

If one child has a genuine wish for a more expensive present - ie a musical instrument, sports kit, then it may be that we get that, but on the basis that there is 'cash in the fund' should the other wish to take up a sport, or hobby at a later time.

Happy christmas all

swinstan

Whatever the age it needs to be fair and equitable in their eyes. And despite the credit crunch I think many of us try to make sure our children get a few things to unwrap from Santa - so it's about the whole picture, not just the one gift in isolation.

So for the very little, the comparison is on volume. How big is my pile of presents compared to theirs? A little older - they can count. So, how many presents do I have compared to theirs? Older still - how does the value of mine compare? Older still, any inequity at the one time is not so much of a problem as long as the balance over the longer term is maintained.

Who said parenthood was easy!!

cranezoe

my parents always bought my sister and I the same amount of things. If I got a book or a top or a toy so did she but it might have been cheaper or more expensive I guess, never really thought about it. but then we didnt really ask for anything. I would have hated it if I got the same gift exactly - like roller skates - if its because she wanted them!
There is a big difference in what the twins are asking for. I'd prob speak to them both, depending on what I wanted to do.
One would be to say to Gabrielle that her gift is not as expensive and is she sure thats what she wants. Likely that she would say yes she was sure and then thats what I'd get her.
Or I'd say to Monica you've asked for a much more expensive gift and so Gabrielle is going to get another gift to make it up to the same money, are you sure you still just want the one gift? so there are no tears on christmas day when she doesnt have as many!
Or I'd tell both girls how much I would spend and let them understand how you can get more things if you choose less value things.

robnye

we have 3 dd's (13,16,18) we try to make the total value of the xmas gifts as close a possible.... usually within a couple of pound.....

Marisan

As children my brother and I were always given gifts which worked out at around the same value.Having said that,we did not get the calculator out and add it all up to the last penny,but we would have noticed a big difference in value.

Children cannot reason like adults and the child receiving the 'lesser' amount is bound to feel resentful.Perhaps the best solution would be to explain to Monica that she and her sister will have a set amount spent on them and does she want to spend it all on one item? If she insists,she cannot then be miffed if her twin has more to unwrap on the Day.