MONEY MORAL DILEMMA: Should the twins get the same value presents?

englishmac

martin71 wrote: »

Surely the value is irrelevant? I think people are forgetting the nature of gift-giving - it's not a RIGHT to receive a present at Xmas (or any other time, like birthday).

So if a parent kindly decides to buy a child a present, then the value of that present should not then be subject to debate or comparison with the value of anyone else's present. Making up the difference in cash suggests to the child that they are entitled to a certain amount of money - which doesn't sound like the magic of Christmas to me!

The monetary value of the gift isn't really the issue for me. They could have asked for a £5 and £7 gift respectively. The real issue is treating them, and being seen to treat them, as of equal importance within the family unit. Children do understand difference and to treat them unequally causes a lot of jealousy and insecurity. Make up the monetary value - not necssarily spend the equivalent amount; you may find a bargain, what really matters is the worth.

robpw2

im a twin my parents always treated us equally

every year they would say that everyone all four children had the same amount spent on eachother thought some may seem to have more actually wrapped presents

lauranurse

Im a twin too, and I disagree with the people who said the value doesnt matter - when you are 10 it does!

My parents always gave us the same value presents, not always what we wanted if that was too expensive but it was always equal and fair.

I think a ten year old who sees that her sister has been giving more than double the value of presents might start wondering if her parent's prefer her sister to her! I know it sounds silly, but when you are that age you dont really understand things in the same way.

Having said that, Im a lot older than 10 now, and I think I would still be a bit miffed if my Mum spent a lot more on my sister than me!

Siblings will always be jealous of each other, you dont really want to do anything that will make it worse, and possibly cause them to damage their relationship irrepairably!

RolyRoly

I would make up the money in other gifts. A bit of a no-brainer this one really.
The kids might not say anything on this occasion about the disparity in value, but it sets a precedent that can be referred back to and also it's just plain not fair.

jackieblack

worbikeman wrote: »

I would buy them the presents but mark each present "For Gabrielle AND Monica". Then they would decide between themselves who wants to mostly play with which toy, but must share with the other if the other wants to.

I completely disagree.:mad:

Each child is an individual, not just one of twins, and is entitled to have their own things. Yes, all children need to learn to share, but it is important that each child has things that are their own and for them to choose to share if they want to. Also, just because they are twins it doesn't mean they would like or want the same things.

You wouldn't mark the presents of two siblings of differing ages and/or genders to both of them.

shell_louise

I've got 2 brothers and 1 sister and can't ever remember thinking about how much our gifts cost at christmas, let alone trying to compare them to see if I've been treated 'fairly' by my parents!
We always loved christmas and were grateful for the gifts we got because money was tight when we were younger.

I've now got 3 children and have absolutely no idea how much I've spent on each of them. Same goes for my neices and nephews. I've got 10 to buy for and this year they've all had a book from Amazon and some chocolates. Some of the books only cost 2-3 pounds, some cost £10 or more.
I don't think about spending the same on each child, I think about buying the gift I know they'll love and that's what is important to me when buying gifts.

ericthecat

I would give each of them about the same value gifts, but not necessarily what they are asking for - when I was growing up, it was very clear that you made suggestions of what you wanted, not absolute demands. This is gift *giving*, not ordering from a catalogue! I don't want my children growing up thinking they can get exactly what you want regardless of the amount of debt they get into.... sound familiar anyone?

hilstep2000

My son asked for Guitar hero IV this year, £150. His sister (22!) asked for "Elmo Live" £60, She's got the extra in other gifts and £50.
I've always treated them the same since they were small.

Myrtle

I've got twin girls. This year dd1 has asked for two things adding up to £150 and dd2, a giant pencil £2.50! I've not decided what to get dd2 yet but it will be about the same in value.

robpw2

worbikeman wrote: »

I would buy them the presents but mark each present "For Gabrielle AND Monica". Then they would decide between themselves who wants to mostly play with which toy, but must share with the other if the other wants to.

it was bad enough school used to treat us as one child without my parents doing it .

whilst it might promote sharing this is pretty crap ..