MONEY MORAL DILEMMA: Should the twins get the same value presents?

roothie

I have twin 3 year old girls, and a 10 year old girl too. My 10 year old has a bit more spent on her as the things she likes cost more. The twins have the same spent on them money-wise, and all three have the same number of presents to unwrap on Christmas Day. It does matter to siblings, especially a ten year old, to be seen to be treated fairly. They are kiddies after all and think as such.

Thefunkygibbons

As parent of two sets of twins, we would always try to match present value

With this dilema, the issue is letting such an expensive item on the wish list in the first place

how much?

squidworth

Define value: is it purely monetary or what it means to the beholder?

Do your kids go straight to the Argos site and compare prices? I know some do (not mine!) with calculators and whinge like spoilt brats if one has £350 and the other £350.01... after which its the ebay site to see what they can sell them for!! Dreadful but true.

As parent of two, different ages and sexes, I try to get equal value in their eyes firstly (what they wished for within reason) and then quantity (eg similar sized piles) and lastly money value, and have never had any complaints

simon_the_saver

Why not get the DS and game, but mark the DS as shared and the game for Monica (approx value £40) and the skates for Gabriella. Then they can each buy games to play on the DS

jooy

It's only fair to spend the same on both children. If you bought ONLY what they wanted there's bound to be jealousy afterwards; it's human nature.:rolleyes:

robyoung

I would buy the Nintendo DS between them and get them a pair of roller skates each.

katiejones

robyoung wrote: »

I would buy the Nintendo DS between them and get them a pair of roller skates each.

then there would be a fight over the DS lol and only one has asked for the skates

zzzLazyDaisy

I have seven grandchildren aged from 1yr to 15yrs. I spend the same on all of them, though the older ones now get a small present and cash to spend in the sales (at their request) and the tinies usually get a small present plus pyjamas, or whatever clothes they need at the moment.

anne99

When I was twelve, one of a family of five, I was desparate for a pony. Not on a whim, but after years of enthusiastic make-believe play, reading everything I could get my hands on, riding lessons and helping friends for hours in exchange for a brief ride or just to be near a horse.

My parents finally agreed, but made it clear I could only have a pony because none of my siblings wanted one, or another such expensive hobby. They could just find the money for one - they couldn't possibly afford five.

I don't remember my siblings complaining, and they certainly knew the situation. The main thing I remember is that the next two horse-filled years were among the best of my life.

Later on it would become someone else's turn to have more spent on them, and I'm sure over the years it worked out fairish. I certainly don't remember any resentments, and we all still get on great now we're adults.

I'm not sure if the MMD implies financial constraint within the family, but I think the same useful lesson could be learned here. Who knows, the skater may turn out to be talented, take up ice-skating and need all their parents' time and money over the next decade until they win an Olympic medal.

Sami_Bee

as a soon to be parent of 2 and having grown up as one of 2 daughters I will be using the wisdom passed down from my mum, each year she gave herself a budget (which was the same for both of us) if what we put on our letter to santa came in under budget we got it if it didn't then we had the choice to ask grandparents for money to make up the difference or not get it. she made up the difference in what we'd asked for with underwear, pajamas, smellies etc. we still to this day get presents of the same value and I think its only right to treat your children equally :A