MONEY MORAL DILEMMA: Should the twins get the same value presents?

martin71

OK, sounds like a reasonable guess - but actually I am indeed a father and I LOVE Christmas!

Don't forget this was about what the kids themselves wanted. Obviously if you set out to spend twice as much on one of your kids, that would be a bit odd, but if they're both happy with what they're getting then who gives a monkey's about the price tag?

It's just that i always remember my Mum saying that if we got a present we should always be grateful even if it wasn't exactly what we wanted - because some children get nothing. I hate the idea of some kids trying to calculate whether they've been short-changed rather than enjoying what they've got.

Merry Christmas to everyone, I say!

GlasweJen

I wouldn't be counting the money value but twin 1 with the DS gets a computer that can be used all the time, twin 2 who wants the skates wont be allowed to play with those at Christmas because it's icy out and so she'll be left on christmas day to watch her sister play her game, i'd top up with something twin 2 would be able to play with during the day so that she isn't left bored.

flutterbymum

I have six children and they all have the same amount spent on them.This year our oldest child of thirteen wanted a present which cost nearly twice as much as her siblings presents so she added her own money to make up the shortfall.She didn`t complain as we agreed this was fair.:D

keletubbie

Just my two cents...

As long as both kids have what they want on Christmas Day, they'll be happy. I doubt that they'll only get their one main present anyway, and there's likely to be bits and pieces to open from friends and family.

If they're not bothered about the cost of everything and just enjoying their gifts for what they are, why spoil it for them? Money worry comes to us all soon enough!

VeePhillips

I think this is a really good point from Anne.

When my brother and I were kids my parents carefully explained that "equal" and "fair" were not necessarily the same thing - that was why there were two different words! Some years one of us would get more than the other because that fitted in with our needs/interests at the time but over the years it probably evened out (not that we kept accounts!).

Now we're adults, unsurprisingly we still have different needs and my parents support and help in different ways. The main thing is that we've always felt equally loved.

anne99 wrote: »

When I was twelve, one of a family of five, I was desparate for a pony. Not on a whim, but after years of enthusiastic make-believe play, reading everything I could get my hands on, riding lessons and helping friends for hours in exchange for a brief ride or just to be near a horse.

My parents finally agreed, but made it clear I could only have a pony because none of my siblings wanted one, or another such expensive hobby. They could just find the money for one - they couldn't possibly afford five.

I don't remember my siblings complaining, and they certainly knew the situation. The main thing I remember is that the next two horse-filled years were among the best of my life.

Later on it would become someone else's turn to have more spent on them, and I'm sure over the years it worked out fairish. I certainly don't remember any resentments, and we all still get on great now we're adults.

I'm not sure if the MMD implies financial constraint within the family, but I think the same useful lesson could be learned here. Who knows, the skater may turn out to be talented, take up ice-skating and need all their parents' time and money over the next decade until they win an Olympic medal.

Miss-spent_2

Hope you don't mind me joining in, just some random thoughts;

I think it is unfair to call children 'greedy' or 'brats'. If they have always been given what they have asked for they have no reason to see anything wrong with this or know that it is different to what happens to others.

Children will only learn the value of money when they have their own and the responsibilty to spend it.

I have two boys close in age and bend over backwards to spend the same on them. When they were younger I tended to buy two of everything so they got the same. Once, in their early teens, I bought them the same set of clothes each and my youngest eventually told me (as next Christmas approached) that he didn't like being given the same as his brother.

I usually spend £100 per person in our close family. I have a similar problem though, do I spend £100 on each of my in-laws and £200 on my Mum who is on her own or £100 as a couple?

Thrifty-saver

I think all children in a family should be treated the same, this stops any bad feeling of favouring one child over any other.
I always try to spend the same amounts but as with this scenario, I would "top up" with cash the one whose gift was costing less.

lizzybear_2

I say spend the same on each or it only causes resentment, or alternatively give the difference in cash or vouchers.