Getting OH to propose - and think it's his idea!

Dinah93

skintchick wrote: »

For me and OH, it wasn't about wanting to be traditional or old-fashioned (for someone who isn't judging that's a very judgmental phrase!) but about wanting to do it the right way round and be right with God. I wanted living together to be something special and I wanted the marriage to be the start of that, rather than an afterthought, which is what it clearly can become if you live together first as shown my so many of the posts on here - life gets in the way and people can't 'see the point' as they are already 'effectively married'.

For us, the point was we were making a lifelong commitment to each other and starting a new life together, and therefore we needed to live singly until we made that commitment, from which point on we would be together in the same house.

I think you've missed the point if you think people do it that way round because of a desire to be traditional.

I think this is a really beautiful post, well written and sums up exactly how I feel, but in a way I could never manage to phrase it. I think a lot of people who believe in something more would agree with you on this, myself included. I believe that marriage will bind me to someone for this life and the next, so I would want it to be a noticeable event in my life as you describe, and I won't be rushed becaue my friends are getting married/engaged. I'm with a wonderful man, who I do believe is the one for me, and when the time is right we can look forward to the next step of setting up our home for our new family together. Thanks skintchick x

svjenni

yyyayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy:beer::beer::j:j:T:T:T:T:T:T:beer::beer::j:j:j:j:j:j:j:beer::beer::beer:

I can officially be on the board without being psyco girlfriend


......cos now I am pysco fiancee!!!!!!!


(got my proposal today, it was better than I ever hoped for)

Best wishes and good luck to those girls still waiting.

tartantotty

I can identify with this thread. my bf and I have been together for nearly 3 years, and I want to settle down and start a family. He says he does too, but doesnt seem to have the same need as me!! I am 30, and he is 27, and I was engaged previously but the ex left me for someone else when we were planning our wedding (lovely hey, although now I realise its the best thing he ever did!)
My bf wants to be married before we have kids (altho its not so important to me, I dont mind which order it happens). For medical reasons it will liekly not be easy for me to concieve, and my clock is 'ticking' (in my head anyway!!).

We have friends who have got engaged/married/had babies, who met after me and my bf, and that does upset me a wee bit, as I get worried that its cos he not sure if that he wants to commit to me. That might not be the case, well I hope not, but the irrational bit of my brain frets about it!!

I think the baby thing is the biggest issue for me at the mo tho, as being a mum is the most important thing to be ever, and I am scared that it might never happen

briggers_3

Massive congratulations Svjenni! How did he do it?
You must be over the moon! xx:beer:

niallmitch

If ever proof was needed - this thread is indeed proof that women are mad.....

xJayJayx

niallmitch wrote: »

If ever proof was needed - this thread is indeed proof that women are mad.....

Yes, yes we are... and guess what? Its men that make us like it

svjenni

last friday he had a day off to "wait for a parcel" that night we went to our favorite restaurant so I was like -this is it!

But it was wierd, the food wasn't great and the waiters wouldn't leave us alone and it felt v aukward, so...no proposal.
Went to bed feeling peeved, but woke up thinking, well i know its going to happen, i just have to wait till hes ready and decided to cook us a nice 3 course dinner to make up for my wierdness the day before.

Anyway saturday morning he announces he is off out all morning and that the garage is off limits - very strange behaviour - but i had a driving lesson so off i went..


I got home to find a sign say follow the rose petals.. so i followed them up the stairs and in our bedroom was a sign made of roses saying, I love you, will you marry me? And there he was on one knee, I was completly stunned, said yes and burst into tears.

Now I thinkabout it a restaurant prposal really wouldn't have been his thing, but my proposal was wonderful and I wouldn't chnge a thing about it.

We have already set a date 17th June 2010 so I am already starting to plan!!!

mandy_s_2

niallmitch wrote: »

If ever proof was needed - this thread is indeed proof that women are mad.....

That made me burst out laughing!

We are not mad, it's just sometimes you guys need a push in the right direction!

I got quite obsessed with the idea of getting married. After 7 years of "waiting" I thought it might never happen and I agonised over it way too much. Anyway, the minute I stopped agonising over it and realised that as long as we were happy and in love nothing else mattered- OH proposed. It was like the minute I stopped bugging him he decided to go for it - I dont know whether that is a coindence but could well be. And the mad thing is that I wouldn't change the way it happened. If we had got engaged by OH effectively "giving in" I would have felt robbed of a truly amazing moment that I will remember forever.

x

Jo_R_2

Has been interesting to catch up on this thread as not been online for a while!

With our appointment to register baby imminent, we were again discussing baby names week before last. He took immense offence when I said I was sticking to my guns over naming baby with MY surname. I explained again that should we decide to get married, we could sort out the whole surname issue by re-registering baby (okay so it's a bit of a sweetener for him to get the idea in his head, but is mainly because I hate the idea of me, OH, baby and my two DDs from my previous relationship all having different surnames.)

We had a huge falling out. He said he didn't know why I was saying that as I didn't want to get married really, and the only reason why I wanted it was because I wanted stability for my DDs... I was completely aghast, and he went on to say he wouldn't get married anyway because I wouldn't takehis name, because I wouldn't give baby his surname, and for him that was part of getting married. I threw back that he couldn't use the argument of it being traditional if he waspicking and choosing what bits of traditional he wanted if he hadn't wanted to be so traditional to get married before baby arrived.

He walked out after that and when he came back it wasn't spoken about. I mulled it over for days, swearing to myself I wasn't going to bring it up, but in the end he asked me what was bothering me as I hadn't been "with it" for days so I gave it to him...

I said I had been terribly hurt by what he'd said, somehow implying I was only with him as a father figure and provider forme and my DDs. I said I felt like I had been led into coupledom and parenthood believing one thing - that he wanted us to get married - and then he had moved the goalposts by saying he didn't want to and I had gotten into something I wouldn't have chosen had I known how he felt.

Well after some talking it turned out he *does* want to get married. There's a lot of things he has going round in his head, particularly around his mum. She had a lot of boyfriends whilst he was growing up and was quite blase that she wanted someone to provide rather than staying with any of them because she actually had feelings for them. That's a big thing for him.

He said he was sorry for what he'd said, and never meant to imply that I was using him. I think he realised the enormity of how much I'd been upset when I told him I couldn't stay if I knew he *never* wanted to get married - he said he wanted me to know that he DID want it, and it wouldn't be in many years' time, but he wanted it to be special as that was an important part of it for him. He also said he almost asked when baby was born and he has no idea what stopped him except that he choked up!

So that's where we are right now... It's kinda weird because although I'm happy with that, he keeps coming out with odd things like what would I say if someone else asked me to marry them Also he spoke about could we afford to get married, I said money wasn't what was important to me and it doesn't cost that much to get married in a register office, to which he replied was that what I wanted because he imagined our wedding as being a "proper" one, not a rubbishy one in a register office:D I explained that although I would prefer something a little bigger than a register office marriage, at the end of the day where and how it happens isn't what I think about, but what I think about is someone who cares about you so much that they ask you to spend the rest of your life with them, for better or worse, and that you are the only person they want that with forever...

Anyway I could go on but that's the gist of it!

sunshinejoclaire

Tigerlee wrote: »

Beccam - You have the same situation as my Dh and I. We got married 7 years to the date we first met. We were together 5 1/2 years before OH proposed! seems a long time but I was only 17 nearly 18 when we met. Probably been sooner if we didn't live together first though! DH thought things were going well so why change things?!:D

we are getting married in 9 weeks time, which will be 6 years and 51 weeks since we started going out :rotfl: we have our 7th year while we are on our honeymoon

We have lived together 3.5 years, and owned a house for 2.5 of those. We announced our enagement a month after completing on our house. He had actually asked me about 4/5 months prior to that on the beach near to where we live at sunrise :smileyhea . I don't think he was actually planning on aksing me the day he did. We went out with his sister and she said something (to him) along the lines of 'neither of us will ever get married will we.. we are too sensible' and he agreed. I walked out of the pub there and then.

He came home a short while after and we had a tiff about it, and decided to go for a walk down the beach, and he got down on one knee at sunrise