Getting OH to propose - and think it's his idea!

briggers_3

Anyways I dropped a few hints about diamonds and I took him to amsterdam for valentines, but I found myself not enjoying it as much as all i wanted was a proposal... Well we got tipsy and I ended up asking what was on the cards, and then he surprised me by saying he had ben looking at a few rings anyway so what did I think?

Well I stupidly said you can't propose like that! But at least we have had the discussion (he has the blue nile website link, and as the same taste as me in rings....watch this space!)[/quote]

good for you! :T i'm sure you feel happier that he's said that! I hope you get the proposal soon and a lovely ring xx

briggers_3

sorry I tried to quote there......not very successfully it would seem. congrats to the last poster also on her engagement. Happy wedding planning x

continualdiamond

Marriage isn't everything and i thought it was. OH and i are 26 and 27, known since each other for 9 years, been together for 8. Lived together for 5 and been 'engaged' for 3.

I convinced myself i wanted to get married and when we talked about it, i always dropped into the coversation that i thought he'd be too scared to ask. Well we picked out the ring together and it took him about a mth after that to ask me and thats where it has all stopped.

So looking back, he only did it for me i think and not for himself. Getting the ring can be the easy part, getting him involved in planning a wedding much harder.

Last year i had to sell my ring anyway cos he was outta work for 6mths and we were desperate for money. With that happening its made me realise its not the end of the world, it was just a ring after all. Id rather be without it and still have a roof over my head.

We have a mortgage together, in fact we were going through all that before we got engaged, for me it wasn't an issue to buy a house together without being married.

People ask when im getting married and i always say, one day, cos we've both said we will one day, but if thats when we have kids and they're at school, etc etc, so be it.

Where still trying to get back on our feet from him outta work for so long and the cost of a wedding it just something we can't justify at the moment.

Where happy and thats the main thing

roxalana

Still no proposal for me

I just think that you never know what might happen tomorrow and I wouldn't want something to happen to one of us and me to regret us not having got round to it. I don't expect it to change our relationship but I do want to celebrate what we have with the people we care about.

Birdie85

My OH knew from very early in our relationship that I want to get married and I don't want to have children before and luckily he agreed. I knew he was 'The One' from a few months into our relationship and we always talk about 'when' we're married, never 'if'!

He proposed on Saturday after just a little 'push' from me, we were looking in the jeweller's window and I pointed out the ring I wanted! He says he's been thinking about it for a while, I think the fact that we're buying our first home together has given him the push, his parents are religious and although he isn't I think he still has a bit of the guilt about living in sin at the back of his mind! Also, a lot of our friends are getting engaged at the moment and he feels like it's our turn to jump on the bandwagon!

Hope your baby has arrived well and happy and you'll get the ring soon Jo_R!

Jo_R_2

Baby not here yet and no glimpse so far of any imminent 'plans'...

It still gets mentioned on a very frequent basis, really in a lighthearted fashion. We often ask each other, "do you think we will?" and we both agree yes, not sure what that means though!

I have however put my foot down... I did mention during a discussion about how if I was good enough to have a baby with and live with then I was good enough to marry and not sure what he thought but he didn't say anything for aaaages after... I cringe a bit now but also am glad I said it...

The other thing is that I have said baby is having MY surname. We have discussed this a lot and I was going to go with two surnames for baby (mine and then his), but I have said baby is having my name as we are not married, but should things change after then I would be more than happy to review the surname situation.

I'm not pushing for anything - however despite being a woman of the world I am kinda in a position whereby he has made it clear he would feel completely emasculated if a woman were to propose to him:rolleyes: I don't think he'd say no if I did - I think it would more be the bruise to his very male ego when he would have to explain to his mates and family that in fact it wasn't him who proposed but me LOL...

xJayJayx

i've come up with a brilliant idea. Perhaps you could scream something about marriage during labour and if he asks you about it after the birth (but doesn't propose) you could just say you were having a moment haha. Brilliant.

Jo_R_2

Well we were having another darn discussion about baby names last night (still can't decide on a name!) and seems he is not happy about baby not having his surname at all.

I explained my thinking again - if I'm being honest I've been burned before and I *hate* that DDs have my ex's surname (although they do have mine anyways) and so explained that although I hope I don't come across as being cynical baby will have just my surname and if things change, ie we get married, I'm more than happy to revise the surname situation, explaining about re-registering baby.

Oh he is NOT happy... He understands but he is quite traditional (I LOVE the irony considering what we're talking about!)

Sad thing was he said that we have so much going on right now (expecting baby, looking for another house) that to think about getting married is too much right now... So I guess I know where I stand for now!

I am disappointed... but of course I don't want a proposal from him out of pressure from me, and I realise I may have laboured the baby surname point a little too much. Thing is, I feel so disappointed, even though I know he's right as it *is* a lot to think about. and I'm annoyed with myself for feeling like this because before I met him I wasn't bothered about marriage at all!

briggers_3

sorry to hear that joR....I can see that he's right in one way - you do have a lot on your plate right now never mind weddings.......
but on the other hand I don't see why you shouldn't stick to your guns.
anyway, good luck for the big day and I'm sure things will fade into insignificance when he/she arrives. You and OH will be elated - maybe things will become clearer for you both. Keep us posted on the names, xx

Dinah93

If he was that traditional he'd have asked you to marry him a while ago, certainly when you realised you were going to have his child, he can't ask that it has his surname now, smacks a bit of having his cake and eating it too! I agree thoroughly with you, the baby should have your surname. Even if he proposed, you wouldn't have to start planning the wedding right away, you could pencil in you would do it in 2 years or something, and have a long, romantic engagement.