MMD: Would you get into debt to grant a friend’s dying wish?

MSE_JennyMSE_Jenny MSE Staff
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Here's this week's hypothetical situation for you to cogitate on:
Would you get into debt to grant a friend’s dying wish?

Your best friend's/close family member’s final wish on his death bed was for you to sprinkle his ashes over the Grand Canyon. You’d love fulfil his dying wish and fly to the States. Yet you’re already £10,000 in debt (your friend didn’t know this), and would have to put the trip on your credit card. Realistically, it would probably add up to £2,000 for you and your partner to go.
Click reply to have your say

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  • skylightskylight Forumite
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    I would not get into debt over it. I would promise that the ashes would be sprinkled at the Grand Canyon at some point - its one of the places I want to go in my lifetime so would probably get round to it, but it wont be in the immediate future nor a specific journey.

    And if they were a true friend (which they would be if I/they were discussing taking them to the Grand Canyon!!) then they would know about my financial situation in the first place and would not expect it to happen anytime soon!
  • *Louise**Louise* Forumite
    9.2K Posts
    I wouldn't get into more debt over it. I would scatter the ashes...but it would be sometime in the future once I had saved money for it.

    I'm sure a friend would understand. An organised friend would have left money in the will to cover the cost ;)
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  • SandCSandC Forumite
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    This is such a hypothetical question that I can't answer any other way than, no I would not grant his dying wish.

    But then I don't know of anyone who would make such a request (now they might ask me to accompany them to the Grand Canyon before they die, which I would happily do) and even if I did it's money I wouldn't spend (any friend of mine would know that I don't have that sort of money and would never take out a loan for it).
  • promise your friend, then take ashes (if allowed, on a plane?) ONLY when you can afford it- after debts paid off.

    get to keep a promise, and 'closure' on your bills.
    Long time away from MSE, been dealing real life stuff..
    Sometimes seen lurking on the compers forum :-)
  • AaaghAaagh Forumite
    181 Posts
    Two thousand quid! I'm sure with all the MSE tips I could get a better deal!

    Yes, absolutely I would promise it if it was the wish of a close relative. But it would not be immediate and would be done when I could realistically afford to make the trip.
  • ...not until I was out of debt and could afford to do so. Until then, nothing to stop the ashes living happily in the attic.
  • I have lots of good and close friends but I have to say that if they wished their ashes to be spread anywhere other than local, I would have expected to have had a prior conversation with them as to the costing of same...........this may be perceived to be somewhat of a clinical answer, but a realistic one, unless you are on footballers wages etc !!!!!
  • SoolerSooler Forumite
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    MSE_Jenny wrote: »
    Your best friend's/close family member’s final wish on his death bed was for you to sprinkle his ashes over the Grand Canyon.

    Well that's rather thoughtless of them :mad: some friend :mad::mad: if they request that without any consideration :mad::mad::mad:. Surely they'd leave money in the will to cover it :grin::xmassign: :rolleyes:
  • brucie24brucie24 Forumite
    89 Posts
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    If they were my true friend they wouldn't have asked me to go to America any way, would rather poke needles in my eyes but hey thats just me:p

    The answer is yes, but I'd go alone on cheapest flight possible there and back in minimum time (one night stay?). No way would that cost 2K
  • I would, as other have said, keep the ashes and wait until it was more financially viable.
    An alternative I may consider would be asking a trusted someone who is already going to America to do it on my behalf. Each year someone I know seems to be heading in that direction.
    Try saying "I have under-a-pound in my wallet" and listen to people react!
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