MMD: Would you get into debt to grant a friend’s dying wish?

Atlantic

Hypothetical as I don't do debt, being experienced.

Anyone who answers yes to this is stupid and too weak willed to have a credit card. Cut it up now.

zzzLazyDaisy

I'd have a quiet word with the family and see what they thought.

If it was important to them to have it done sooner rather than later, they might decide to go and do it themselves.

Or, often families request no flowers but a donation to charity - they could ask for a donation to the grand canyon memorial service instead

But if it was down to me, I'd go when I could afford to, without getting into debt, and I'd enjoy the trip and thank the friend for spurring me on to achieve a dream.

moneyadviser666

Well from a money saving point of view the friend should pay for the tickets before he died. Then if he is skint too the debt will be cancelled if his estate cant pay the credit card bill. Just a thought.......................

viv17

If it was my friend...I would look around on net and get in touch with some nice people who fly over, The Grand Canyon eg as their daily joband arrange a fair price for them, to grant my friends dying wish...I would sent the ashes buy Airmail..etc.....And hope my friend was having a good laught at my money saving...

Chuffy

moneyadviser666 wrote: »

Well from a money saving point of view the friend should pay for the tickets before he died. Then if he is skint too the debt will be cancelled if his estate cant pay the credit card bill. Just a thought.......................

My thoughts exactly. Tbh, I'm surprised no-one else has mentioned it. Get them to pay, if their estate won't cover the debt (if on a credit card, loan or overdraft etc - not secured), then it gets written off.

Mozette

No. It's not like they'd know!

The_Teaahloic

Yes I would if it was a close friend or a family member. If it meant that much to them perhaps I would go on my own to save money!

sleepy-lady

I would do anything at any expense for a friend who was still living - but once they had died, what is the point?

forzaitalia

:A :A :A

You should have told your friend about your debt. He would never have made such a request if he had known.

My darling dad passed away three months ago. In the past, when he was fit and well, he always said he wanted to be buried in his family burial plot in his village in Italy. A lovely thought, but the reality was that his beloved wife and children live in the UK and to expect them to go through the expense and trauma of shipping his body out to Italy to carry out his wishes would have been too much for us. We would also have been unable to visit his grave as often as we wished or even to be able to tend and care for it. I think he realised this.

He never mentioned this when he fell ill with terminal lung cancer. We all nursed him at home in his last few days and he seemd so at peace at the end. Although his dream was to be buried in Italy, I know he realised that a place is not as important as the people you love and that were with you at the end. His italian family came to him and visited him when he was ill - there was no need for him to go there.

What is important is that you have your friend in your heart and mind. Where their ashes are scattered is not so important, and if one day you visit the Grand Canyon, then fair enough, but do not cause yourself more debt to carry out this request. People sometimes says these things without thinking them through, just as my dad did. If your friend had known of your debt he would never have made such a request. He would probably have been horrified that he was causing you such a dilemma - that's what true friends are like.

:A :A :A

SandC

So sorry about your father. Like you say I think when it comes to the end often there is a realisation that the soul is what matters, not the body.


I wonder if this friend had ever mentioned Grand Canyon before? Had he been there? Was it a special place? Or had he always just fancied going there. If the latter then the answer is definitely no as it's obviously something he's come out with having no particular grounding. Again, if the wish was to visit before dying then I would fork out for that.