Should my 5 year old twins go to grandad's funeral?

creased-leach

The "last" of my Grandparents died when I was 9. That's the first funeral I remember, but I'd already been to a few. At the age of 13, I saw my first dead body as I was called upon to help when a neighbours lodger (he'd been like an uncle) died suddenly.

Our kids attended my dads funeral when they would have been around 5, 3, and a few months old. The eldest picked up on the upset, as did the middle one. But at that age, it's temporary. With love & understanding they'll come to learn that distressing situations happen, but can be coped with.

As I type, our 14 year old is comforting her best mate. He's the brother of the girlfriend of a young man killed tragically at the start of the week, but he only found out a few hours ago. I'm glad that she's emotionally equipped to help with the situation.

jimmyay

my grandmother was 94 when she died. i was around 30. we were close, i was upset, but had booked an expensive holiday overseas. the funeral would be missed. when i asked my mother at the time whether i should cancel, she said ; look you dont need to come to this, go on your holiday and enjoy it - you'll have to do this with me anyway at some point, its not like it will be the only funeral , enough come around. i thought that was very healthy. and indeed i did sort my mums own funeral out a few years later, with a smile at what she had said.

i think going , or not going , to a funeral, as long as you or your kids can take a healthy attitude towards death and also pay your respects in your own way , thats the important thing. and not to be hung up about death.

ask not for whom the bell tolls. it tolls for thee....... as they say.

Mrs_P_Pincher

When Grandad died my DDs were 11 and 5. We decided the younger one was too young, so she just came to the house afterwards, but the older one insisted that she wanted to be there and behaved beautifully.

On the other hand I went to a funeral recently where all the grandchildren were there, leaning on the coffin drawing pictures for Grandad. I thought that was bit weird, but the family were obviously happy with it and the children all took an active part in the service.

I still regret not having the opportunity to go to my Grandad's funeral when I was 13. I just wasn't asked.

You know your own chidlren and what will be best.

Good luck

Mrs P P

galvanizersbaby

People

OP posted this back in November so I'm pretty sure the funeral has already taken place by now.:o

Interesting thread though to see so many different opinions on attending funerals