Just how normal IS this revolting teenage mess?

oystercatcher

I would provide a bin for each room and also a laundry basket if he doesn't have one .
You know he's lazy he's not going to get up and take a coke tin to the kitchen bin but he might just lob it into his bedroom bin.
I got my boys a laundry basket each when they were tiny, clothes off into the basket worked well. Now they are trained to bring the basket downstairs, shove it in the machine and press the right buttons.....it works they do it !!!
They even seperate lights and darks .

Oystercatcher

Errata

I have told him that as his LL's, one of us WILL turn up for a fortnightly inspection,

What does your tenancy agreement say ? The other tenant, or their parents, may protest if his tenancy agreement states termly inspection visits.

Good guidance on this kind of situation will be freely available to you from the student letting office.

consultant31

Steph998 wrote: »

How can he be accepted for a degree in chem eng, and now know the the simplest things in life. )

Lol, the brighter they are, the less common sense they have!

Steph998

Errata wrote: »

What does your tenancy agreement say ? The other tenant, or their parents, may protest if his tenancy agreement states termly inspection visits.

Good guidance on this kind of situation will be freely available to you from the student letting office.

Thanks, I'll look in to that....we don't have a tenancy agreement with Dan or his mate, which is probably why I don't really consider myself LL in the true sense of the word.

Didn't even consider an agreement with Dan as he is our son. Neither party is going to get involved in pursuing LL or tenant 'rights' etc...we will just sort any problems out as parent/child. The mate is not sure how long he is going to be staying, so wanted to pay rent on a weekly basis, and doesn't want to be tied into anything. We are quite happy with that.

Is this illegal, or wrong?

Rikki

This is the first term and I think you need to set out the grounds rules for both sides.
You have the next three years in this situation and they will be easier and run smoother if you as landlord and son plus friend as tenants know the rules.

You doing really well and what ever you do don't loose your sense of humour. Your going to need it with have a teenage son.

Errata

Tenancy agreements are useful tools for both tenants and landlords. They spell out rights and responsibilities clearly and offer protection and also what actions will be followed by what consequences eg keep the place clean or you move out in one week's time.

I guess what you're doing is letting your son live in your second home, so there would be no need for a tenancy agreement. However, you're charging his flatmate rent and if he's staying at the flat as a mate of your son's it's hard to see what you could do to throw him out if that was needed, apart from the two big blokes and an alsation scenario. Equally without a tenancy agreement there's nothing to stop either of the lads moving in 4 of their mates, should they wish to.

There are insurance implications and perhaps mortgage implications if the property is mortgaged and you don't have the mortgage holders permission to let the property.

Back on thread - if the flat isn't kept as clean as you expect it to be kept what will you do? If there are no clear consequences to not following your wishes then your demands might be ringing a bit hollow.

buxtonrabbitgreen

tiamai_d wrote: »

When I was living at home I had some rules for my bedroom. They were..

1, it should not smell
2, dirt should not be left long enough to stain
3, spilt liquids should be cleaned immediatly (see rule 1 and 2)
4, once mould appears on the plates/cups you clean them yourself!

Apart from that it could be an untidy as I made it so long as I abided by the rules, which generally meant that once every 1-2 month it got blitzed.

Then I moved out and got all tidy well..... sorta..... :rotfl:

Very good. I have just copied that list to give to my slobby dd. She actually feels uneasy if I clean her room.

shirlgirl2004

Hi Steph

Just spotted this thread. I'd leave him to it except for anything which will leave permanent damage (to the flat not them ). I'm guessing others in this thread have said the same.

Please stop worrying about him he'll be fine

Savvy_Sue

Steph998 wrote: »

Thanks, I'll look in to that....we don't have a tenancy agreement with Dan or his mate, which is probably why I don't really consider myself LL in the true sense of the word.

Didn't even consider an agreement with Dan as he is our son. Neither party is going to get involved in pursuing LL or tenant 'rights' etc...we will just sort any problems out as parent/child. The mate is not sure how long he is going to be staying, so wanted to pay rent on a weekly basis, and doesn't want to be tied into anything. We are quite happy with that.

Is this illegal, or wrong?

While I don't think it is necessarily either illegal or wrong by itself, not having ANY written agreement with either your son or his mate does leave both parties open to all sorts of problems. As Errata said ...

Errata wrote: »

Tenancy agreements are useful tools for both tenants and landlords. They spell out rights and responsibilities clearly and offer protection and also what actions will be followed by what consequences eg keep the place clean or you move out in one week's time.

I guess what you're doing is letting your son live in your second home, so there would be no need for a tenancy agreement. However, you're charging his flatmate rent and if he's staying at the flat as a mate of your son's it's hard to see what you could do to throw him out if that was needed, apart from the two big blokes and an alsation scenario. Equally without a tenancy agreement there's nothing to stop either of the lads moving in 4 of their mates, should they wish to.

There are insurance implications and perhaps mortgage implications if the property is mortgaged and you don't have the mortgage holders permission to let the property.

That last paragraph is perhaps the one which should have set loud alarm bells ringing for you. Unless you've bought the property outright, the mortgage company WILL want to know that you're letting it out, and WILL want a formal agreement. The insurance company will also want to know.

You may think it's all a nice friendly informal agreement, especially as this lad doesn't know how long he wants to stay. However, without a written agreement, it wouldn't surprise me if the law doesn't assume certain terms in your agreement, and that they'll work in the tenant's favour not yours.

And should this lad (with or without your son's 'assistance') trash the place properly and do a runner, or do a runner owing several weeks' rent, you will be utterly without a leg to stand on, because you'll have no 'proof' he ever lived there.

You might find our House Buying, Selling and Renting board useful: there appears to be an excellent sticky on renting for tenants, although it is written with English law in mind and Scottish probably is different, and you could certainly pick up a few tips there!

Errata wrote: »

Back on thread - if the flat isn't kept as clean as you expect it to be kept what will you do? If there are no clear consequences to not following your wishes then your demands might be ringing a bit hollow.

And if your expectations aren't in writing, and the consequences, it will be very difficult to enforce them. That's where the tenancy agreement comes in useful.

I know it feels artificial, and you'd like to think you can sort everything out amicably between parents and son, but if that were true, would your son be in a flat? No, he wouldn't.

I'd consider setting up the tenancy agreement with your son: even if he's not paying rent himself, he is responsible for all utilities, he should have an inventory, and there should be an agreement a) about how many friends he can move in and b) how long they stay before they start paying rent and c) how much notice he gives you before he moves out and d) how much notice you give him if things change and you need the flat back.

But you should investigate Scottish tenancy laws. I think down here you can buy an 'off the shelf' tenancy agreement in Smiths - you can certainly get a rent book, you do give his mate a receipt for his rent every week, don't you?

There are two obvious possible excuses for doing it now: "Now you're 18 ..." and "We've just realised that for the insurance / mortgage company we need to ... "

ldavies_3

My husband thinks im really mean as both our sons ( aged 12 and 8) have to do their fair share of the home chores... my eldest hoovers daily, my youngest is in charge of collecting all the washing and they both take care of the dishwasher..

As working parents, the boys are under no illusion how important it is to quality of home life that we all do our bit to ensure we can all sit down as a family after tea.

This also means that we all have responsibilities towards each other and hopefully when the time comes, they have respect for others and will one day make great husbands lol