Just how normal IS this revolting teenage mess?

xcat_girlx

we lived in student halls and had flat inspections of the communal areas once a month. if it wasnt tidy we got a warning and re-inspection. if it still wasnt we got made to pay for a cleaner.
treat him like they would in the real world.

consultant31

Steph998 wrote: »

Sigh. So it's back to the weekly visits to clean up for him then. It won't make the slightest bit of difference to him (apart from being able to find his underwear again) but at least I will sleep at night.

Would the other mothers who know where I am coming from do the same?

Haven't read many replies after this question, but my answer is a loud NO!

Rotting refuse left inside the house must smell disgusting and will, without doubt, attract all sorts of pests including rats. Once the house becomes infested, you will need professionals to fumigate it which will be expensive and may not save things like carpets and soft furnishings from being destroyed. Also, leaking bags will damage the floorboards eventually :mad:

Imagine the poor neighbours having to live with the smell and any 'critters' who manage to get into their home too.

If you keep cleaning up for him, in my opinion, you're making a rod for some other poor woman's back - will he pull his weight when he's got a wife?

I think you have to insist that rotting food etc MUST be removed at least weekly and then just forget about the untidyness.

We were appalled when we saw our son's uni flat. There were 5 of them sharing (2 boys and 3 girls) and it was a total shambles but now he's engaged and has his own flat, the place sparkles.

As with everything else, you can't put an old head on young shoulders, so make some rules which MUST be followed, then step back and let him get on with it. Good luck

Puzzledbubbles

Mutter wrote: »

Puzzledbubbles sugested "Maybe you could go for the whole reverse psychology and next time you go over take your own rubbish with you, or eat a choc bar or bag of crisps and just chuck the packet on the floor, making your own mes is fine, when other people make a mess its annoying."

Do you think bubbles, that wiping your feet on the way out may be a little too subtle for students?

lol, when i wrote that Mutter i was thinking more along the lines of taking a whole bin bag and saying "i thought you were collecting them as bits of art" but then thought that was going a bit far lol

beckseven

I knew five medics(men) in disgusting squalor. Student blokes generally are dirty blighters-I've got another story about 5 guys who lived together-I remember them proudly telling me that they didn't bother buying loo rolls anymore-they believed that you became 'self cleaning' after a while and they also had a tea towl that they used to use for the same purpose-how grim is that! They used to pee in their hallway when they got in drunk at night because they couldn't be bothered to go up to the bathroom! That was in 1996 and I think that they are all living in Surrey in sparkly cleanness with no smoking in the house etc etc.I think the problem is that it is your flat and you will be the one paying for the fumigation! I think that maybe the lettings agency may be an answer for you as you feel guilty about him not living with you. Hope you get it sorted.

beckseven

p.s the some of the above guys were very goodlooking but after hearing their stories I never felt tempted to succumb to their charms-for some strange reason. I pity the girls that did! Actually I remember one revolting occasion when I went for a night out with one of my friends and she met up with her boyfriend and he said that we could stay at his student house and I could stay in his housemate's room as he was away. I was a very tired and a bit drunk so I stumbled into my bed for the night. Imagine my horror when I woke up in the morning and noticed that the sheets I was lying on obviously hadn't been washed all year and had loads of suspicious 'stains' on them! I have never got up so quickly in all my life!

boombap

I've only read the first three pages of this discussion so apologies if I'm repeating somthing said since.

I feel that maybe he being messy is a form of rebellion - perhaps he's still upset having to leave the family home so he's got a "b**ger them" attitude.

I wouldn't despair at him being messy forever. When I was a at Uni my housemate was one of the worst slobs you could ever meet but when I went to visit him last weekend at his new house - a house which he has bought - he has changed so much and now insists that visitors take their shoes off and use coasters!

S.

Bennifred

Peakma wrote: »

.....................Maybe for Xmas you could drop the hint of making him a cleaning hamper!!
3 plastic boxes for recycling,glass,paper,metal,a little compost bin,rubber gloves,black sacks,dustpan and brush,clothes,sponges,bucket ,mop,various cleaning,sprays,mousses,glass ceaner,washing basket, line, and pegs,etc etc and maybe a silly apron etc....!! ................!

:rotfl: I might pinch ths idea, if that's OK?! :rotfl:

tiamai_d

When I was living at home I had some rules for my bedroom. They were..

1, it should not smell
2, dirt should not be left long enough to stain
3, spilt liquids should be cleaned immediatly (see rule 1 and 2)
4, once mould appears on the plates/cups you clean them yourself!

Apart from that it could be an untidy as I made it so long as I abided by the rules, which generally meant that once every 1-2 month it got blitzed.

Then I moved out and got all tidy well..... sorta..... :rotfl:

ampersand

Tripped over this Thread by chance.
############
My suggestion:
Forward it to your son.
(and he'll have all the moneysaving tips as a weekly bonus!)

Sharlee

I do sympathise. My guilt as a mother makes me put up with far more from my son than I ever would from a partner. Maybe this should be the subject of another thread but it is not just the inability to clean up after himself or to help me in any significant way but the inability to deal with the responsibilities of life, e.g. opening a bank account, getting a driving licence, making appointments etc.

I know life is much more complicated now than when I was a youngster. But I managed without any help. I think we do disable our children by not allowing them to make mistakes? But I know that when things go wrong, he turns to me to help pick up the pieces and life is much more difficult than it was before.

It's hard to let go when that misery is living with you!

Love to all
Sharlee