Leaving my husband

McKneff

Hi Rolo, nice to see you still around and updating us.
You are an inspiration to lots of people on here so keep posting.
Possibly buy him out and then sell it to move or stay where you are.
see you later.

yoni_one

Hi rolo,

I'm always pleased to read your updates.

It's great to hear you are considering all your options, bad memories for you or your kids in your former home may not be worth it.

Good luck in finding the perfect home!

rolo-polo1965

Not had a good few days.

I have been feeling rather stressed and fed up.

All i seem to want to do is cry, but i must carry on for the sake of the kids.

Part of it is down to him, keep sending me emails, going on about money all of the time - it is driving me nut.

I know i have done the right thing for me and the children, but at times i feel so alone.

Sorry for rant.

Take care

Money_maker

You are not alone, you are never alone on here, there is always someone here who cares :A

Try re-reading your thread, see how far you have come and look at the support everyone has been giving you. I know its not like a real hug but you are so brave and the hardest part you have already done.

Is it possible to filter his emails somehow (sorry, im not very techy) and perhaps just look at them once a week. You could then treat yourself to your favourite video/dvd and a box of chocs afterwards which should help you to relax and forget about them.

This can be quite a depressing time of year anyway for many people after the excitement of Christmas so try thinking about what you would really enjoy and plan to make it happen. Making plans for the future can give you something to look forward to and a goal to achieve.

You really are an inspiration to many people and I think your thread has helped out more than just you.

Chin up and well done.

McKneff

You have come so far Rolo, keep it up,
You have dealt with the hardest part,
As you can see, we are still here supporting you.

spirit

I agree with the others rolo, you are doing incredibly well and in such a short space of time. You are bound to have bad days so don't beat yourself up.

Is there anyway you can stop his e-mails perhaps set up a filter so they go straight to your junk folder? if not then force yourself to delete them without reading them?
:beer:

yoni_one

Awww Rolo, I am so sorry you are going through a difficult patch.

You aren't alone in this you know, there will be support in your area and we are here always.

You are going to have weak moments, gift yourself some well deserved time out from being always strong but while you are pondering please remember the reasons why you did this and reflect on how things might be had you not taken these steps.

Every day you face choices, you have made some really brave ones but some days it is easier to make those good choices than other days.

We are still here for you.

Rant all you need to, its good to get it out there and share sometimes.

Take care xxx

elisebutt65

Wow - I've been following this thread from the beginning and I have to say you're doing a wonderful job for yourself and family so far!!!

You can set up a filter for your emails and direct them to a specific folder so you can keep them but please don't read them anymore if they make you feel bad.

Thriftysaver

Hi Rolo

I have just read your thread. Keep strong. Your are going to go through a whole range of emotions for a while yet but you must remember why you left. As someone previously said read your original post.

I left my 1st hubby 10 years ago after 9 years of marriage (14 years together and 4 kids). He was insecure, abusive, controlling and an alcoholic. He sapped the life out me. I lacked confidence for years until I had had enough.

I owned our house (he wasn't very good at regularly handing over money on a regular basis) so I bought the house on my own.

We were always splitting up. Him leaving, me kicking him out. It wasn't normal. I know that now. I couldn't move. He even told me after we split up that 'he would let me do what I want if I let him come home' tch. He used the kids to get at me. The were 10 8 5 and 4 at the time. It was horrible.

I stuck to my guns because words come cheap. It was hard. After a while I found myself crying all the time. I felt like something was missing. I now realise this is because I was used to him in my life. Although I did really love him once.

He got me to the point I hated him and I hated the fact that I allowed it. I suppose I was very angry with myself. So much so I couldn't bear him in the same room. Although I had to for him to see the kids. This soon waned when he realised I was not going to take him back. He disappeared after 8 months, never to see the kids again, He would call now and again. No maintenance or emotional support for kids though.

Anyway he died a few months ago. An alcoholic. The kids are upset and crying and to be honest it did knock me.

I am married to a wonderful man who I met not long after left 1st hubby and he supported me through all my feeling and has brought up my kids as well as us having 2 more.

There is life at the end of this, just stay strong. Do what makes you happy. Trust your instincts.They are usually right.

I don't regret ever marrying my 1st hubby because I have 4 gorgeous kids and it helped shape who I am. I am a stronger person now and happy. I would take no cr*p from anyone now and am not scared to have a point of view anymore.

When you feel overwhelmed with emotion 'ride the wave' and 'take each day one at a time.

I wish you all the luck in the world


Thriftysaver

:T

WEEZE210_2

So sorry to hear you're feeling so low.As I have said in a previous post my marriage ended in a horrendous way. My next relationship ended with him stalking me, police visits and me getting an injunction on him. I had to change my phone number a couple of times after getting up to 70 calls a night, all through the night. All this was enough to put me of men forever. I felt I'd always be alone. Id got 3 kids aged 10, 8 and a few months, so once they were in bed I was so lonely, depressed and angry at how my life was so messed up.
I have since met such a lovely, caring, kind, gentle, romantic bloke that I have realised there are some nice blokes out there, I'm so lucky to have found one. We'e been together 4yrs in April, we got married in october 08 and it's the best decision I've ever made.
There is light at the end of the tunnel, just think that you did what you did to get out of a bad environment, you made the right choice for all the right reasons and it will get better. I thought I'd never be happy but now me and my kids are safe, secure, loved and happy!
Be strong, it'll take time but you'll get there in the end.
Weeze x