Leaving my husband

jockettuk

when i put the wheels in motion for my divorce i actually sat and cried about it and cried when the absolute and nisi came through as well,.. no one gets married thinking its not going to last and divorce although its something you want and need is not easy emotionally.. i was glad my divorce was finalised but it left a hole in my life for a wee while.

no divorce is easy but it is worth it in the end so you can move on with whatever you choose to do with the rest of your life.

rolo-polo1965

Hi

Well i am still getting the emails, and texts. The phone calls seem to have stopped which is good.

I am still happy with the decision i have made.

Its just a case of wait for the paper work to be filled in.

He keeps asking me what to do about the bills, mortgage etc.

I have told him we need to cut the credit cards up and not use them so i must get his off him

Kavanne

Can you cancel the credit cards if you are the account holder? You don't want him going on a spending spree.... Have you checked he hasn't already!?

Mely

Rolo...cant you change your sim card so he cant keep texting you? Id definately get a stop put on the credit cards!

spirit

Hi Rolo,

I have found this string late in the day too. I would like to add myself to your long list of supporters. I was where you are now in 2001 so know what it's like. Like the others have said, your ex has displayed the classic symptoms of head in the sand during the marriage and emotional blackmail since the end.

They all seem to do the same thing IMHO, they do diddly-squat to address the problems which they turn round and blame you for. One of my best friends had been telling me to wake up and smell the coffee for years, she also said that I was very weak and would crumble as soon as he started the same as your ex - I'm sorry, I'm nothing without you etc etc. I applaud you for recognising that they don't change. If you did you back to him you would find that as soon as you were back in his clutches, the old behaviour would return.

Each milestone that you cross will make you stronger and stronger Rolo. Your first was making the decision to leave and then getting the house on your own. You will feel this great sense of achievement 'I CAN do this on my own. I remember that my self esteem had been whittled down so much by his bullying (mental not physical) that I didn't even have the confidence to order a drink at the bar when we went out. So to leave him, sell the family house, buy one of my own, sell and buy a car (3 times now). All these things might seem or have seemed daunting to face on your own but like I say once you've done it once it gets a whole lot easier.

I now take holidays on my own, I've been to Jordan, Egypt and Greece and wouldn't have it any other way now. I think it's harder making the initial decision to leave someone, often times it seems easier to stick with the known that venture into the unkown?

Keep going girl, you have my support :hello:

rolo-polo1965

Friday

Spoke to soliciter today. She is preparing some paperwork for me which i should have next week. He has told me i can buy him out of the house, so spoke to a financial adviser and i can do this and will be paying a mortgage that is less than the rent.

Very pleased.

Will update with news as it happens

Emmzi

woo, that sounds fab!!!

rolo, you are doing AMAZING!!! fingers crossed, and remember to visit the mortgage board if you need specialist advice!

spirit

Go for it rolo, bloomin well done!

Mely

Rolo.....im so happy for you!!!!! xxxxxx

yoni_one

rolo-polo1965 wrote: »

I could do with some advice. I have 3 children living at home, none of us are happy, my husband has become more and more verbally abusive. He belittles the children all the time calling them names. When my son failed his AS exams \(his best friend died of cancer) he went belistic calling him names. When my eldest daughter lived at home he told her he wished she had died instead of his mother.
I have found a house that the children and i could rent but not sure if i am doing the right thing.
We have a mortgage in both names, joint bank accounts, joint credit cards etc.
I am after some advise, he says that there is no way he is leaving the family home, as he has put so much money and effort into it, but then so have i

My priority is my childen, i want them to be safe and happy, at the moment i feel that they are not.

I don't know how to multi-quote so cut n paste will have to do -

Quote
rolo-polo1965 Friday

Spoke to soliciter today. She is preparing some paperwork for me which i should have next week. He has told me i can buy him out of the house, so spoke to a financial adviser and i can do this and will be paying a mortgage that is less than the rent.

Very pleased.

Will update with news as it happens


It is 2 months to the day since you first posted. Look how far you have come in that short time!!!

Your latest news is fantastic. You are a real inspiration Rolo.