Leaving my husband

McKneff

We are all still here Rolo, keep us posted
regards
Annie

hollydays

best wishes rolo

rolo-polo1965

Hi
Not been on line for a while sorry, been sorting the house out.

Also had no internet, but we will do soon.

We have been in the house for 3 weeks now, we all seem to be happy.

DD2 feels bad for her dad though and always comes back upset, but still wants to see him.

DD3 is not bothered if she sees him or not.

My son has not really seen his dad since we left.

DD1 has not seen him much either.

On Tuesday i went to relate with hubby, but we will not go back. All we did was talk in front of a councelor and nothing was new it was just going over everything again. Him apologising again and again.

He keeps texting me as well:
"I love you, I am sorry, Please forgive me".

My feelings have not changed towards him though. I still can not see us growing old together.

Eventualy he will realise this.

DrFluffy

rolo-polo1965 wrote: »

Wednesday

I met hubby at one of the local pubs today, i dont mind admitting that i was bricking it before hand.

We both became very emotional.
We sat chatting while we ate.

He asked me to move back home as the house is so empty without us.
I explained that i can not come home.
He told me he loves me and is sorry for the way he has treated me.
I told him i was sorry for the way that i left, but i explained that i felt i had no choice as i was unsure as to how he would react.

He told me i should have asked him to leave and he would have.

I told him that was rubbish as he has often told me that there is no way he would leave his house that he has put so much into.

I told him i felt like i was being treated like a piece of s**t.

He told me he did not mean to make me feel like that, but that his father treated him with violence and abuse so thats what he did.

We sat talking for about 2 1/2 hours.

I told him that its not just me he has to prove himself to, he has badly hurt my eldest daughter and son and he needs to apologise to them as well.

I told him we need to give us a couple of months to see how it goes.

He says that feels like forever.But he understands how i feel.

He says he feels depressed, i tried to make him a drs appointment but he needs to ring back in the morning.

He says he has an anger problem and is going to sort it out.

He knows it is 99.9% his fault, and he needs to prove himself.

Part of me feels he will never change but i feel that i should give him the chance to.

I honestly feel that we have come to the end of our lives together, and i am in some ways leading him on. But i feel i need to give him that chance no matter how slim it is.

Thanks for cyber love and hugs and all the personal messages

Only 99.9% his fault? Not his fault he's only treating you as his dad treated him?

This all sounds like he's trying to tell you what you want to know... If it took 23 years for your marriage to sink thins low, it's ceetainly going to take a lot longer than a month or two to turn around.

He needs to be actively seeking help on his own, not telling you he needs help, or having you call the GP for him. He needs to change and prove it - that is not a quick fit.

Good luck hun - sounds like you've been through a lot, and although I'm nieve enough to believe leopards can change their spots, I'm sensible enough to know that spots change over months to years.

Stay strong
xxx

Mely

Rolo...im so pleased that you have settled into your new home with your children. It sounds to me as if your ex is trying to emotionally blackmail you to go back to him. I think you realise this, and you also realise that theres no way he could have already changed. You where with him all those years and if he was going to change, he would have done so a long time ago! I admire you for being so strong and for protecting your children from further hurt.
Also him being brought up my a violent and abusive father is no reason/excuse for him to behave the way he has done. My father was mentally abusive and violent, and it just made me even more determined that if i had children i would NEVER behave like him, and put my children through the same as i went through.
Keep strong ((((hugs))))

madmalteaser

Wow. Have just read this thread right through and wanted to say, rolo, you are a very brave person for doing this. I really hope things continue to go well for you and wish you and your children all the best.

ceebeeby

Hi Rolo,

Just wanted to say Hi ... I've not posted loads on your thread, but am so pleased everything's working out for you!!

What's your plans for Christmas Day

Have a very happy one

xx

McKneff

Hope you and your family enjoy Christmas Rolo,
Just letting you know i am thinking about you

bunty109

Rolo, I haven't posted before on this thead but have been reading it....just wanted to wish you and your family a lovely Christmas xx

Mely

Rolo...hows things going?
I wanted to wish you and your family A Merry Christmas & A Happy(ier) new year for 2009.
Love Mel xxxx