Different life - so new SOA!! Back once again :D

In_Search_Of_Me

Remember that in doing sworn douments you have to tell the truth and nothing but the truth - no matter what he thinks! Hugs for you!

mum2one

Big hugs from me as well, excuse the expression, and apologies if anyone thinks I have spoken out of place. But why should you make the court case for the divorce easier for him, he most proberly doesnt want to come out of it with egg on his face. It might be beneficial therapy to get all his pain in the rear points wrote down, even if you burn it afterwards.

I will be honest and say that I dont know the divorce procedure, but do know a messy breakup which was basically a slanging match between both solicitors. (Felt like it at the time). xx

chevalier

hi Sea
I am really sorry that things are tough emotionally for you at the moment. But then truthfully when haven't things been tough with this person? He has embarassed you when you have been out, let you and the kids down when he has been too drunk to do what has been planned. etc etc etc. So he isn't going to change his spots now. Just take each new annoyance as a reminder that you are doing the right thing. You may also find that part of his problems is that it is finally sinking in just what he is about to lose through his own stupidity.....

Ref the your DS and autism, could he just be demonstrating negative behaviours as a response to the break up?

We are all here for you, so take strength in that
chev

SingleSue

Sea78 wrote: »

lol - they need one with just the mum looking really tired, and looking down at her squabbling broad with love but also despair!!

My son is being assessed for autism. I never expected this one.

Sea, if you the worst comes to the worse and he is diagnosed with autism, feel free to send me a pm...I have two of the (insert naughty word!) here and have done the whole plethora of courses to control the behaviour.

My ex hubby behaved exactly the same when I caught him cheating, somehow it was all my fault as I didn't give him the attention he so craved, he wanted to be No1 all the time and I was trying to deal with 3 kids, 2 of whom were autistic, one of those had just been excluded from school, trailing around the streets of my local area taking DS2 to various tutors plus trying to work.....think anyone would have worked out I would be tired! :rotfl:

He too refused to move out, not just the house but the marital bed too! I spent 2 months sleeping on the sofa until he eventually left (he did what his mum told him to) but the relief was immediate.

Finally the kids could play freely after school and not have to worry about their toys having to be away by 5pm, they could discuss their day around the dinner table, they could have friends round (well eldest anyway and only if they could cope with the fiends of the two younger ones....one child got scared away never to come back!:rotfl: ) and we no longer felt like we were walking on eggshells, only doing things to please daddy and not make him angry.

He too said some very hurtful things, for example he suggested I do the world a favour and take all my anti depressants in one go, he said I was a hopeless mother and the boys only had problems because of me, that he hated me, that I was useless in bed (never seemed to worry him before he met the 'tart')...the list goes on and on.

He also said he would always see his children and have them on a regular basis but 5 months after he moved out he moved 400 miles up the country and they barely see him (last time was in May) let alone stay with him...but that is his problem as the children are lost to him, they have no respect for him at all and our eldest son is taking the ultimate step in disowning him next year by changing his surname to my maiden name.

It is hard in the early days but our lives have improved tenfold since he has gone...the kids are happier, they are doing better at school (probably because we talk around the dinner table about any problems) and the behaviour has dampened down a little, although their main problems remain.

Hope I haven't completely depressed you now!

taxi73

Hi Sea,
I wouldn't change it to adultery to suit himif you don't want to.We all know some of what you've been through and that's bad enough and I'm certain you;'ve not told us everything.
Please do what you want to do as he doesn't come into it now.You are doing great with all the added pressure but in the end you'll be so much happier once he'sout of the way.Take care x

SamanthaA

But don`t do the adultery divorce unless you want too.
I suggested it as a money saving excercise, not to appease that g1t!

Remember:
Revenge is pointless, but an opportunity is not to be missed!

Eight years on & I still take any opportunity found/given & I have a good (most of time) relationship with the ex.

hypno06

Hi Sea, how's things going? Pop on and just keep us in touch x

Sea78

will be on tomorrow when I've not got someone looking over my shoulder

Hope all are well

Sea xxxx

In_Search_Of_Me

How you doing? Hope things are ok....longing for the day when you and the kids have the house to yourselves - as I am sure are you.

Sea78

Well, managed to !!!! up entirely. Have had quite a bit of stress, obviously at home, but also at work, with a few 'friends' turning out not to be friends at all, and it all kicked off on friday- won't go into the details, but enough to make me come home and just cry. To get to the point, I was meant to go into my branch and cancel the dd for CCCS as they couldn't do it on their system, as it wasn't up and running - but i didn't and now the money has gone out of my account and I am skint. I'm hoping that I can somehow reverse it and will ring my branch and CCCS tomorrow to try to sort it. Can't believe that I forgot, how could I forget something so important??

As regards to him, one of my (few!! lol) friends has offered to come with me to the solicitor to discuss all the options - I seem to turn into utter mute, unable to really discuss (or remember!) anything much from our appointments, and it seems that despite the 50/50 etc. I may not be having to pay him all this money as I am still keeping the family home running and it doesn't seem fair really. But then, I don't know. Just wish I could think clearly about it all.

DD cried again when I wasn't home last night - she woke in the night - and she did the same when I was in Leeds - and that just kills me. She also had to talk to me ont he phone when I was in leeds as she got upset - she NEVER needs to talk to him, even when he's been gone ages. He's taking the absolute !!!! now, going off to her house for 24 hours at a time, with the car of course.

Sorry I'm ranting. My head just feels so full, and jumbled, that I can't really focus on anything, hence forgetting the bloody direct debit.

Hope you are all ok.

Sea xxx