domestic violence

solongmarianne

thanks everyday gets easier, ok im poor like never before but i am actually quite content. iv got a long way to go with regards to trusting men again but im gettng there, and i recon a year or 3 without a man will be just fine for me lol

gabyjane

Hi just wanted to say well done for being so brave and not going back as hard as it is.
My ex (dd's father) started hurting me, it started when i was preg with no 2..i had, had no1 prematurely and was scared stiff as to what was going to happen with the baby, that was the only thing that made me be strong and try to leave, luckily he did a bunk a few weeks later and i was alone anyway but i got to the point where i HAD to walk away.
My neighbour he beats his wife, she comes out at all hours screaming etc and he has done god knows what to her. He has 2 court appearances this week alone and i am sick to the back teeth of them both tbh..i know exactly what you mean by not stopping loving someone but she has no sympathy off anyone now as keeps dropping charges etc and he goes on..it's highly annoying and frustrating to see.
Good luck for the future and you will come through this..i wish you well xx

solongmarianne

hello eveyone, i thought i should update this, rather than start a new one???

well i moved and have a new career, i was happy for ages but sadly he has found me.

a so called friend gave him my new number and where i moved to.

he hs been harassing me non stop, i cant go through all of the above again so think my only option is to dissapear. i am now looking for a home in another town, also is it worth cnging my name by deed poll? andcan my old name stll connect me to me iyswim ?? i am realy happy in my little house but im not safe , thts been made clear.

he knocks abou 11.50 some nights, im at the point were im too scared to go shopng/be seen out. police say he hasnt actually done anything !!!!!!!!

i dont think i can go through all that again.

anyone have any advice on changing name/ dissapearing in general!!!!

he just wont leave it.

74jax

I am so sorry to read this thread. And extremely saddened by your experience with the police. In my case I couldn't have got by without the police. Is it worth trying to speak to them again? maybe asking them about name changing etc?

My ex was harrasing me - comeing to my home, knocking me and the neighbours up, he even took the conservatory roof off to get into the house! The bleeding neighbours didn't even report it as they didn't know i'd finally got rid of him and thought he'd lost his key!!! (so they say.............)

In the end..........after a long...........time it went to court and I got a restraining order. It wasn't nice and he broke a few times too!

I understand what you are saying about going to the shops, I had panic alarms fitted to my home and they stopped working so many metres from my house. I used to run to the the car and lock the doors as soon as I was in. Coming home was horrendous too, getting from the car to the house.

Have you searched the net for the info you're after? have you tried calling woman's aid? they may be able to help you. http://www.womensaid.org.uk/

I have heard of companies who help you 'disapear' as you call it, but it's a drastic measure and means cutting off from family and friends.

solongmarianne

my so called "friend" gave him my details. i dont feel i can trust anyone. my mum , of course. but friends, no.

he put my number up on a sex for sale site amongst ther things, i really dont want to live like this all over again. im sick of looking over my shoulder. iv had about 9 fraud visits from benefits amongst other rubbish, they were understanding but i just want to feel safe. i worry for my dauher too. she is settled in her new school.i dnt know , i will do some research now x

74jax

Have you notifed the school? I had to inform the school my daughter was at, at home time she was kept in until i collected her from inside the school, not the yard. She was also watched during playtimes. I don't mean to scare you but they need to know.

Do you get legal aid, could you discuss options with a solictor?

tara747

OP, I am so very sorry to hear that you are again being harassed and frightened by this man. Please keep us up to date. ((((hugs)))) to you and your daughter xo

solongmarianne

thanks both of yu .

my daughter is at secondary but they are aware, she walks in a group and has her phone with her.

i make her text me when she arrives ,it shouldnt be like this, i feel like i have failed her. we are going to have to leave and hide all over gain. because some man is too sly to get caught.

solicitor said injunction, but within a hour or so of the last one he was at the house , dialled 999 , hismum said he was with her all along. he is very sly.

xmaslolly76

Have you thought about getting a camera installed on your house you can get them for as little as £20 which links to your computer and can record people coming and going from your property. It obviousley wont stop him turning up but at least if you have him on camera then he cant deny being there and the police will be able to act regardless of what his mother says. I am wondering if his mother is being threatened as well and is being forced to cover for him for her own safety.

Goodluck you have been so brave and so strong x

BarmyCow

Didn't want to read and run - I'm so sorry to hear that you are having to go through this again. I've no practical advice I'm afraid but you know you have a source of emotional support at least through this thread.
I can only echo the post about getting a camera installed - also, is it practical/appropriate to let your neighbours know the basic situation, just so they know to let you know if he calls round while you are out ?