Friend borrowed 6k-not paid back...

Paulgonnabedebtfree

Not wanting to sound negative about this but the first time I read this thread my first thought was that you will never see a penny of this money. Now I read that he's not replying to emails and I believe that my worst feaqrs are confirmed. There are people who go through life assessing "friendships" by how much they can use and manipulate others. I believe that even if this guy suddenly had a 50 grand lottery win, he still would be so self obsessed with his own requirements that you still would not get anything. By all means carry on trying but I reckon that for your own peace, there will come a day when you may simply have to let go of this and move on.
I was taken to the cleaners myself some years ago and am still paying the price. I couldn't start getting to grips with looking after my side of things until I fully accepted that there would be no re-imbursement (and I really wish it had been "only" 6 grand).
Don't shoot me. I'm only the messenger. Just my honest opinion though I hope I'm wrong.

RobertoMoir

schoolrunmum wrote: »

Thats' the problem- we don't actually "need" the cash right now, but we are thinking it's gone on rather too long now...and how to broach the subject diplomatically..

I'm confused. If you haven't cleared the credit you had to take in order to provide the loan in the first place (my mind boggled when I read that) then of course you need the money back, so you can stop the credit costing you money.

schoolrunmum

Thanks all...no, I don't have an address, he's moved to ME earlier this year...just to clarify, we didn't have the "spare" cash at the time, so put it on a 0% card. That expired, blah, blah ..but we have now paid it off...it did cost us some interest though....
I think he is avoiding the issue as he must have picked up his emails in the last fortnight...another one on the way I think....

clearmydebts

Hi SRM,

I can't believe your friend is acting this way especially as he was going on about his partner getting a horse. What does your OH think? I remember you saying that he wasn't keen on asking him for the money back. Is he angry now?

sarahs999

Following this avidly. Does your OH know you've tried to contact his mate? Six grand. Jeesh. Do you think your OH privately knows his mate is a dud? Or is he going to carry on being blind about it? I can imagine my OH being like this. Not that he'd get a chance any more as I hold all the financial reins in our house after bailing him out too many times!

schoolrunmum

Hi Sarah-no my OH doesn't know I've been in touch and asked for it back. Funnily enough, it came up in conversation the other day, and I asked him if he felt awkward asking him for it back. And if he did (bad grammar, I know!) I would do the deed for him..but he said no, don't hassle him..he's hard up as it is!!! Says we'll wait for a while longer...eek!!!!!
And so it goes on, he had a call from another friend yesterday who's just been laid off from work...has a mortgage and car to pay for. He gets off the phone from him and asks me what we are going to do about it?? I said I didn't see it as our problem, and reminded him he'd said never to let him lend money to a mate again-but he's already planning on it-I just know.....he's going to visit him next week...shall I start taking bets on how much we lend this one????2k is my opening bet......SRM xx

Skippycat

schoolrunmum wrote: »

Hi Sarah-no my OH doesn't know I've been in touch and asked for it back. Funnily enough, it came up in conversation the other day, and I asked him if he felt awkward asking him for it back. And if he did (bad grammar, I know!) I would do the deed for him..but he said no, don't hassle him..he's hard up as it is!!! Says we'll wait for a while longer...eek!!!!!
And so it goes on, he had a call from another friend yesterday who's just been laid off from work...has a mortgage and car to pay for. He gets off the phone from him and asks me what we are going to do about it?? I said I didn't see it as our problem, and reminded him he'd said never to let him lend money to a mate again-but he's already planning on it-I just know.....he's going to visit him next week...shall I start taking bets on how much we lend this one????2k is my opening bet......SRM xx

OMG! I think if he were my husband I would have hidden his cheque book and bank cards by now Seriously though I think he really needs to get his priorities in order (and maybe some new friends). I think he needs to be asking himself whether his friends would be so quick to lend him money if he was the one in need, and also if they would be so understanding if he was in no hurry to pay it back....

Good luck with it all though!

Buffythedebtslayer

Six thousand pounds. Wow you are a good friend. I can understand it must have been difficult to get it off him with his problems, I am sitting here day dreaming about what I would do with six thousand pounds,

I 'd lock up the cash cards from your generous OH tho! he is clearly a lovely man but it must scary to be you- ie dealing with the when are we going to get that money back etc!

I really hope the story has a happy ending

xxx

the_rottweiler

I have a cousin that i am close to who has loads of money, (a few million) but i would never ask him for 6k, but I would never be need that amount. the most I ever needed was £800 and that was from mum and paid back at £20 per week for deposit on my rented house, she gave it straight back to my kids as pocket money, but it was paid it to her and the debt was paid.
I have borrowed the odd tenner from mates but would never ever borrow more.
I think you need to be sly and say that you want to call him on new years eve so OH can talk to him as a surprise at midnight. then when you get the number challenge him on the money. If they can afford a hhorse they can afford to pay you MINIMUM of £100 per week for 60 weeks but ask what they want to pay and then negotiate

Peekay32

schoolrunmum wrote: »

And so it goes on, he had a call from another friend yesterday who's just been laid off from work...has a mortgage and car to pay for. He gets off the phone from him and asks me what we are going to do about it??

Sounds like a psychological issue to be honest with you :think: