Friend borrowed 6k-not paid back...

schoolrunmum

Dear all-, hope this is in the right place - if not hope the mods move it!
Basically, a friend borrowed 6k from us about 4 years ago. We didn't have it at the time, but he was desperate so we took out 6k on a credit card for him.Over time, we have switched it to low interest type cards, but 4 years on, he has moved abroad, and made no efforts to repay us. Spoke to him by email a few days ago and he mentioned his wife was down at a stables looking to buy a horse!
How do I broach the subject and ask for some sort of payment back?? Any ideas? I feel embarrassed asking him, but surely HE should for making me ask for it back!!! Any ideas appreciated, SRM x

lunar

if it was £20 i would feel embarrased too, but £6000! just tell him, no way should he be looking to buy a horse. he should be embarrased, you have to say something now.

boredofbeingathome

Why should you feel embarrassed asking him? He should feel embarrassed in the first place!
What a cheeky s*d for doing this. Put it all down in an e mail or letter and see if he will respond.The other thing is can you prove that there was some sort of arangement for him?
My uncle lent his brother in law 10k and when he didn't pay him back, he took him to court...so he risked family repurcussions, but then again the other chap was the one who went on holidays etc without paying back.

Skintmama

You are a generous and good friend..........surely he cannot afford to lose you!

Were there any arrangements made about how the money was to be paid back? It sounds like he thinks you have written it off if it has not been spoken about since the original loan.

Most of us would see it as an absolute priority to pay back money loaned from friends/family and I am rather shocked by this guy's attitude.

I don't think you have anything to lose by raising this issue........I am sure you can do so nicely as he has obviously forgotten:rolleyes: However, if you don't, you have unfortunately gained a £6000 debt.

Happytogetdebtfree

i would ring and ask if he can offer a monthly standing order for a few 100 untill the balance is paid back i would not email i would phone if i was you he may feel guilty and be prompted to pay you back, i dont think you can force him to pay you back if you didnt sign anythinh ?? xx

schoolrunmum

No, we didn't make any arrangement. Although about 18months after we lent it, he mentioned he was selling his car and would repay it then. The car was sold, but we didn't see any money....still haven't. He has since separated from wife and moved abroad- although the wife has now rejoined him in the middle east and wants to take up riding....

jellybean08

If someone lent me 6k i wouldn't forget about it quickly and then go off and buy a pony. the longer you leave it, the harder it will be, so ask for it now. 6k is a lot of money just to right off, especially as you had to take it out as credit. If he is as good a friend as you guys were to him, then he'll pay it back no probs and have a big apology waiting.

redrabbit29

I doubt you'll see any of that money again. If he's made no effort to repay you after 4 years he's not going to now.

I would do as others have suggested. Phone him, bug him to pay it back. Tell him you got his email and that you feel hard done by as he still owes you a load of money.

Phone him every week until you start seeing some action. If no action, phone him or email him saying you have started legal action through a claims court.

skintandscared_2

Didn't you put ANYTHING in writing when you made this loan?? I presume the 6 year statute-barred thing doesn't count when it's a personal loan without any paperwork? The longer you leave this, the more chance there is of him saying it was a gift - and the courts are less likely to disagree with him when there's no sign at all that you've asked him to repay you!

I would definitely start by sending him an email which kind-of sets out the background to all this (i.e. "I know it was now some time ago, but you'll remember that on x date you borrowed £x from us and said that you planned to repay us on x date". You could put something in about how you didn't want to put any pressure on him, but now his financial situation appears to have improved (i.e. buying a horse!) perhaps it would be a good time to set in place some sort of repayment schedule?

Keep copies of EVERYTHING you write and all his responses. Hopefully his first response back will agree with your summary of what happened, thereby admitting liability for the debt as a loan and not a gift. Best of luck!

cornishinfens

I'd certainly let him know that you gave him the money through credit etc and that it's costing you, and that now that things seem to be ok for him that you need the money back.

If nothing else the fact that your paying for your kindness will give him some nights unrest

schoolrunmum

He's in the Middle East- I only have email for him. I think he thought we kinda had the cash lying around spare, which we didn't..but my husband didn't tell him that. Now he's back on his feet (and buying horses!) it's starting to p*ss me off that he still owes and it's never mentioned. My husband doesn't want to have to ask a mate to repay a debt, and I don't want to upset my husband by getting involved! Christ-never lend money to a mate!