Friend borrowed 6k-not paid back...

redrabbit29

Marsie wrote: »

Hermanmunster is obviously a suspicious soul like me ... although I was coming from the angle that maybe your husband has had the money back and it has been frittered away?

Over-dramatic maybe, but I honestly can't think of any reason why someone would not be keen to chase up a SIX THOUSAND POUNDS debt? Or is your husband's self esteem very low, and he feels he can't be seen to 'need the money'?

What a very odd situation. Hope you get it sorted soon. Can't tell you how angry I would be.

M.

Agreed, don't quite understand this either.

too_much_debt

Hi. I'm sure if you mention it to him he might pay the money back, maybe he thinks that as you/your husband have not mentioned it to him that you are not wanting it back. I also don't think he would have e-mailed you and told you all this stuff if he was deliberately avoiding paying it back, surely then he would just have gone and stopped contact.

There is no harm in asking and seeing what he says, I hope you get the money back, he should have been told in the beginning that it was on a credit card, I don't understand why your husband said he would lend him money if he didn't have it, why could this guy not have got it from one of his own credit cards?

Good luck!

mbaz

I would sit your hubbie down for a chat first to see if there is more to this than meets the eye. Could save a lot of embarrassment incase your friend has indeed paid it back - or if the money was never loaned to him in the first place. Seems strange that he would mention buying ponies etc if he owed it.

schoolrunmum

No, he definately hasn't had it back, nor did we owe it in the first place thanks!
He said he wanted it to buy a car as he had split with wife and she had kept their car. We thought when he sold said car we'd get it back-no, he needed it to fund move back to the uk. He'd pay us when he got a job here. That didn,t happen. Marsie hit the nail on the head- my husband would die rather than let people think we couldn't afford to loan them cash-is that a symptom of low self esteem then?
My husband is generous to a fault I'm afraid, and doesn't want to hassle his mate ..but I agree with you guys- a mate wouldn't do that to you...
Since the loan he has been divorced, relocated countries, married a second time, divorced again, lost his job and finally moved abroad again and taken second wife back..so he too has been kinda busy!

Marsie

schoolrunmum wrote: »

my husband would die rather than let people think we couldn't afford to loan them cash-is that a symptom of low self esteem then?

Not sure why else he'd care what people thought. I'd have thought he might have been more worried about being seen as an utter mug though otherwise, to let someone walk away with that amount of money?

Let's just hope that when this 'friend' is reminded (as if he's forgotten!) he has the grace to pay it back ASAP.

M.

redrabbit29

I understand him being embarassed or wanting to keep a bit of pride to appear that he needs the money. Well, I can empathise, although I am the opposite, I'll tell people I can't afford something, or have no money.

That being said, this is £6000, and I think pride has to be put to one side, that is a huge some of money.

schoolrunmum

redrabbit29 wrote: »

I understand him being embarassed or wanting to keep a bit of pride to appear that he needs the money. Well, I can empathise, although I am the opposite, I'll tell people I can't afford something, or have no money.

That being said, this is £6000, and I think pride has to be put to one side, that is a huge some of money.

Thats' the problem- we don't actually "need" the cash right now, but we are thinking it's gone on rather too long now...and how to broach the subject diplomatically..

ambass

Next time you speak to him, you could mention how pleased you are that things are looking up for him so much - especially compared to how tough things were a few years back when you helped him out by lending him £6,000. Be careful not to accuse or say anything judgmental - just make sure you mention 'lending him £6,000'. And go on to say again how pleased you are for him etc.

The chances are he will either not respond at all and talk about something else, or he will reply along the lines of 'what £6,000?' or 'I thought that was a gift' or 'but I paid you back' in which case all you can say is that actually he didn't, but let's not dwell on it. And, that really is all you can do. Unless you want to go to Court over it.

If he is going to pay you back, he will. If not, then all you can do is trust that what goes around comes around, and the money that is due to you will come to you from another source. And the money he has taken, will be taken from him. Trust me. It will happen that way, but time blurs the connection. You helped someone when they needed it. Good for you.

SamanthaA

schoolrunmum wrote: »

He's in the Middle East- I only have email for him. I think he thought we kinda had the cash lying around spare, which we didn't..but my husband didn't tell him that. Now he's back on his feet (and buying horses!) it's starting to p*ss me off that he still owes and it's never mentioned. My husband doesn't want to have to ask a mate to repay a debt, and I don't want to upset my husband by getting involved! Christ-never lend money to a mate!

The mate HAS the cash spare, if they are buying a horse. TELL hubby that you NEED to borrow the 6k & just plan to not pay HIM back! Or email him, once chq has cashed, thanking him for repayment of loan!!!!

oki_2

Hi schoolrunmum

I was in a similar position to you my hubbies friend asked to borrow 2k for a couple of months. We didn't have the money but hubby asked me to use my overdraft and give the guy the money insisting that it would be 2 months maximum. 2 months turned into 3 years, in that time hubbies friend seemed to go into hiding - no contact. I managed to get his number off hubbies phone and left a message saying needed the money back. Cut the story short he eventually paid up and had a sob story that hubby believed. He spoke to me to apologise and I had a few choice words for him!!! NEVER LEND MONEY THAT YOU DON'T MIND LOSING......sorry doesn't help you now!

I suggest a strong but polite worded email asking for the money to be returned since you don't have any other way of contacting him. I hope you get the oney back